Post # 1
So I have conspired with our best man in planning the bachelor party for my FI. He thinks he just isn’t going to have one because all the groomsmen are spread across the country, and our wedding is a destination wedding. But, I thought he deserved some fun time with the guys, so we concocted a plan that has a bunch of boys flying to the wedding city a couple of days early, so they can have a party one night. Now, FI and most of his friends are pretty tame, so it is going to be a sporty activity in the late afternoon and then a late dinner at a restaurant/bar. No strippers and probably no excessive drinking (FI doesn’t drink at all).
The question is, should his Dad (my FFIL) be invited? He knows about it (FI’s brother told him because he had to explain why he was arriving early) and he asked if he was invited. FFIL is pretty fun socially, and the activities are not a problem (in terms of awkwardness), but I don’t know if this is just one of those things, where maybe FI would prefer that it was just ‘the boys.’ FI and FFIL get along well, but they’re not really ‘buddies’…
I can’t just ask FI because we’re trying to keep it a big secret! (I’m even posting under an assumed name because he checks WB for posts that I’ve written!) Luckily, MY Dad is going to be busy with relatives coming into town, so I don’t really even have to broach it with him.
Any thoughts? Were your FI’s Dads at their bachelor parties? Or are they usually Dad-free (what about if they are on the tamer side)?
Post # 3
Both my dad and my FI’s dad are invited to the bachelor party – which is destination in miami. I think it is pretty normal for them to be invited.
Post # 4
If FFIL asked if he was invited, it’s a bit rude to tell him "no you can’t come", isn’t it?
I would ask FI’s brother and best man for their opinions on the matter. If FI and FFIL aren’t really buddies, then it might be better for it to be just ‘the boys’. If the final decision is to exclude him, make sure you are not the one that has to deliver the message to him!
Post # 5
Um, I wasn’t the one to tell him he wasn’t invited, he asked FI’s brother (I’m not sure what the answer was).
The groomsman and I just hadn’t thought about inviting the Dads, and when I heard that he asked I felt really bad! But the way that I know him, I think his asking if he is invited was more of an "oh, should I add that to my schedule for the wedding?" than a request to be invited.
Post # 6
I think dads are often invited to the bachelor party nowadays, especially if there’s no debauchery involved (which is sounds like there’s not!). Think about it…the goal is for your FI to hang out with guys who are closest to him to celebrate him and his impending marriage.
If he has a good relationship with his dad, then he should definitely be invited. If he doesn’t have a close relationship with his dad. and would have more fun with just the guys, then leave it up to his brother to decide. After all, it’s his dad, too!
Post # 7
I would think that FI’s brother would know whether it will be big fun or a total drag to have their dad along, so I would leave it up to him. My FI is just having a golf weekend, but dads are not invited – although I know there won’t be anything risque going on, as the guys who would instigate that kind of thing are also not invited! Its a foursome bachelor party, which actually makes sense for a golf marathon weekend.