- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
Hey bees, just looking for a place to vent, find some sympathy, and see how other people have dealt with disapproval from family.
I just found out today that my Dad’s side of the family (his sister, husband, and all their children) aren’t attending my wedding. They told my grandma, who told my mom…I just sent out save the dates last month, but of course I haven’t heard anything from them directly. We’re not super-close with that side of the family because my Dad is a staunch athiest biologist and they ALL belong to a very strict, very devout, very inflexible branch of Christianity. Obviously that’s their choice, and there’s no animosity, just not a lot in common.
They have all unilaterally decided not to come because the wedding is on a Sunday. They could easily attend an early service and still make the ceremony (I checked the schedule of the church they attend when they visit my grandma in my hometown, where the wedding is held) or attend their usual time service and still make the reception. This is obviously not the case of a legitimate schedule conflict that they would compromise on to still support me and my Dad, but a sweeping statement of disapproval that my wedding is not important, or probably even valid in their eyes. It’s my Dad’s ONLY sibling, his only living family besides his mother. But we did everything “wrong” in their eyes, by living together before we’re married, not having the ceremony in a church, etc. And my fiance and I don’t attend church, although I doubt they know that for sure. I mean I was a flower girl in the wedding of one of these cousins, have been to all the others! I’m just so astounded and hurt.
I’m usually a pretty “if you don’t like me, f*** off” kind of person, so I’m surprised by how deeply upset I am, particularly because we sort of worried this might happen. Although, it’s a relief to know now instead of at the RSVP deadline. Has anyone else run into this kind of thing? Did you still send them an invitation, even if you know they’re not coming? Would I be justified in writing a (slightly passive aggressive) but still sweet note in their invite packet saying that “we respect and understand your deep committment to your faith, but would still love to see you at the reception after church!” just to rub it in a teeny bit that they’re blowing us off? Any suggestions with how to forgive rude, hypocritical, and hurtful family?