Post # 1
Our wedding is quickly approaching (eep! the 25th of October!) and I’ve got a bit of a dilemma.. my Dad and Step-Dad both mean a lot to me, but they haven’t always been present in my life. My Step-Dad joined my family in 2007 and my Dad has been in-and-out of my life from around the age of 17 despite me making an effort. To make it easier on myself and everyone, I was just going to have my mom walk me down the aisle as she’s played both roles at points in my life. As we’re getting married in the UK, I wasn’t even sure my Dad was going to make it as I’ve had hardly any communication with him since I moved over from the States in July. Today I get a message saying he IS coming and he wants to have a part in walking me down the aisle. His scenario was having my Step-Dad walk me down the aisle and then he gives me away. I think that’s totally fair.. but I can’t help being dissapointed in not having my mom be the one walking me down as neither of them have made that big of an impact in my life. Also not totally sure how my Step-Dad will feel about not having a part in giving me away..
Any thoughts/ideas on how to handle this tricky situation? I’m so blessed to be having my parents come over.. just stressed on how to handle all of this without hurting anyone’s feelings.
Post # 2
megtee: Since you most want your mom to do it, go with that and just let your dad an stepdad know what you are planning to do. I think it would be odd to have your stepdad walk you down then have your father cut in and give you away. Also since your mom has been there for you throughout, it makes the most sense and prevents you from having to choose between the men. You could also walk alone if you wanted to.
Post # 3
megtee: Stick with your mum. It makes the most sense and sounds like it will make you happiest on the day
Post # 4
I attended a wedding where the mother of the bride walked her daughter in – the whole way, and the father and step-father, with whom she lived most of her life, split shaing the walk. It was touching.
Post # 5
I wish it were that easy but I risk my Dad not coming to the wedding or hurting someone’s feelings which I just can’t do.. I’m absolutely devestated as now my mom has major issues with me wanting my dad to give me away. Just don’t know what to do.. one stress I could really do without!
Post # 6
Walk alone! Or with ur mom. Your dad should understand and if he doesn’t, that’s his problem.
Post # 7
I’m in a similar situation with mum/dad/stepdad. I know my dad will be disappointed with not walking me but my mum has been there more than anyone so I want her to be the one to do it. Don’t let your dad guilt you when it’s such a lovely honour for you to ask your mum.
Post # 8
I think walking with your mom is great. Maybe you could just do dances with your dad and stepdad.
Post # 9
Mom and step-dad walk you as far as their seats, dad gives you away. Or 2 dads walk you, mom gives you away.
Definitely involve all 3.
Post # 10
How well do they all get along? Could you have your mum walk down the aisle, and have your dad and step-dad meet you at the end to all give you away together?
That way you would get what you want (ie your mum walking you down the aisle) and your dad and step-dad will have equal parts to play in giving you away.
Post # 11
My dad is walking me down the aisle and my mom will meet us at the end and they are both giving me away. Go with whatever feels right to you, dont worry about pleasing everyone. Your mom played a huge role in your life, that should be acknowledged.
Post # 12
My cousin did something similar as a pp mentioned: Dad walked her halfway down the aisle where they met step-day, he walked her (with Dad) rest of the way. Mom wasn’t included in giving her away, but in your case you could have both escort you to meet Mom and she can give you away.