- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Ugh, this just upsets me. What a jerk.
And I wish you the best of luck!
That's terrible!!!
But very exciting that you are talking about trying soon!!
That's really upsetting. Totally out of line. Good luck with everything!
true that girl! People need to mind their business and stop trying to tell people what to do! She doesn't know your life, I hate crap like that. Just shut up! Good Luck with the baby making by the way(have fun) brown chicka brown cow!
I honestly believe that FB is the last place I would ever discuss things like family planning much less the status of my cervix. I am definitely one of those people that absolutely hates when friends put up those kinds of personal status. I hate when people face to face give me unsolicited advice about important things like this which is the business of myself and my FI only and when it happens on FB my blood just boils.
Thank you!! i'm just so irritated!! I try to never assume anything like this for people - you just never know what people have dealt with.
Aaaaaand.. if any of you mommy bees have advice on difficulty with conceiving and things like that - I'll gladly take it!
Ugh! I feel the same way! I mean, I wish people would just mind their business! You never know what people have gone through, and unless someone asks for your feedback/advice/opinion keep it to yourself! I mean, really! How hard is it?
Nothing's worse that "friends" who project their sh*t on you. Argh! And on FB too!
Good luck with everything!
No doubt. The best part is that one friend had posted "how is it going - still trying?" and she was being discreet, so I commented and said "yep! Can't wait - keep your fingers crossed!". So it's not like we were just blabbing back and forth about my sex life. Then some girl I hadn't talked to in probably ten years just jumps in with her advice.
Sigh.
Ugh, I hate when people think they know your situation and that it is their place to share their "wisdom." Sorry you had to put up with that!
lol that's the thing that trips me out with FB, people you haven't talked to since graduation day feel the need to try and be apart of your life and give advice and all this other crap that you really don't care about!
UGH!!! And I thought all the "wedding wisdom" impartations were bad, that is DEFINITELY far far far worse. Some people!
No advice but ((HUGS)) sorry that yuou had to go through that babes!! If she bugs too much tell her health reasons and that should cause her foot to go so far in her mouth it comes out the other end ;)
That sucks, I'm sorry!
My friends MIL recently told her that people think she's infertile b/c they haven't had any kids yet. Um, first, why would you say that and second why on earth would the MIL pass that along?!?!
ugh I am so sorry for people being stupid. people are just so so stupid. ((hugs))
(((Hugs))) sorry people are so stupid :(
I hope things go smoothly for you, despite the doctors' predictions!
"They're just trying to be helpful." I much as I hate that answer sometimes it is true. She probably regrets having children so soon after she got married, but she still has no business saying something like this when she hasn't kept up with your life. Personally I worry about fertility knowing my family history and know many people who have issue with it so I understand the desire to rush at a certain age. If you want children it will be worth trading an extended newlywed period.
Also don't worry about anything someone says on facebook if you literally haven't spoken with them since graduation. I had someone who I have spoken with once in the past 3 years message me on FB "OMG you're engaged, why didn't you tell me? What else are you hiding from me?... So when will my invitation be in the mail?" After this I have to agree some people just don't think before they post.
@ams - Holy cow! I can't believe they said that - "what else are you hiding from me?" Gah!! lol
@ams137.. OMG.. I get the same messages! Why the bleep would you be invited to my wedding?? I haven't thought about you since graduation... people are such weirdos! lol
aw i'm sorry to hear that =(. People are such buggers about that it really is inappropriate unless the advice is solicited. My parents are practically begging me not to get pregnant. BEGGING. "EJS, please don't..."...yeah yeah yeah.
I'm really worried about conceiving (I'm having surgery Friday to have my tubes looked at...i have a very low # of egg follicles in each ovary, like, 3. Yeah. good luck with those, right? bad scar tissue, too...fully expecting him to tell me they're blocked) and people are always telling me, "i hope you're not trying soon! You're too young to get pregnant! Your husband JUST got out of the army! You've been LDR for 4 years, give it time". Not to mention i'm in grad school. And "oh, don't you want to stop working when you have a kid?!" Um no. Sorry. I went to college to USE my degree, not teach babble all day when I JUST graduated.
I'm 24. They told me I had until I was 22 to get some eggs fertilized. The math is not in my favor, either. And you're being SMART by looking to conceive soon. If you explained it all to her she'd undrstnad, BUT it's absolutely none of her business. NONE. You know what risks you face and what challenges there are. Being 32 is already a small barrier, but your cervical cancer makes it 10 times worse.
It annoys me when people think someone else's uterus is their business. If you explain it to them, they feel sorry for you. If not, they think you haven't thought this decision through or something, right?!
Maybe you should have told your friend some birth control may have helped remedy her situation, LOL. But i feel ya...my parents keep pressuring me to hold off and i'm sure i'll end up screaming at my mom that if she can't deal and be happy, she's not really being supportive, right? I'd probably say something nasty on their FB wall. Seriously, FB is NOT the place to be putting your "advice" out there!!! I'm all for fighting fire with fire especially with "Friends". I swear if people keep it up this will come out of my mouth: "Well, I don't have the fertile loins of a high school cheerleader anymore mmkaythx". Totally inappropriate and will probably have them wondering what's up my butt when i walk off after that lol.
While my fertility woes aren't near as bad as yours, I've been seeing a fertility specialist and there are always lots of women in there, most not pregnant, but trying, and my heart always goes out for them, wondering what they're going through, and I know you'll find the strength to deal with whatever you face, head on.
Wow i wrote a lot
Awwwww I'm really sorry that she didn't think before speaking (or typing)!!! I would be really annoyed too and I would be tempted to tell her your situation or de-friend her, or something ughhhhh. I would just want to make her feel like an idoit. Like you said, she has no business commenting on this & I'm really sorry that you had to go through this.
Just because she already has 3 kids of her own doesnt mean she should tell you to not try...My FI and I went through a miscarriage just this past August, like 3 months ago it was the hardest thing that I have been through and still is....and to make it worse my sister n law is actually pregnant...we were like literally the same weeks along...she just found out shes having another boy.. it made me cry bc i would have been finding out too... :( its her 3rd.
but anyways...just ignore her!!! doesnt sound like a nice person she should be happy for you that you are trying for your first baby!!!
Though I'm sure she thought she was being helpful, she really did cross a line. Your child rearing plans are none of her business and I don't think people realize how out of line it is to comment on other couples -- particularly those you haven't known for 10 years and in such a public forum! There are SO MANY factors that influence our decision to have or not have kids, and we really don't owe anyone any explanations.
Laylabelle -- I wish you all the best, whether it comes quickly or takes some time. I'm sure you have a lot of love to give a little one so I hope you get what you're dreaming of.
Good luck to you, Layla! On the plus side, trying to make babies is fun, and will certainly take your mind of your facebook "friend". :-)
Ew. I hate when people butt in with their unneeded two cents. Especially someone you haven't even talked to in so many years! Maybe she is just unhappy with her choices, but that has nothing to do with you. This is why I've been "defriending" people I never talk to/haven't seen forever on FB.... don't need creepers invading my personal business! ;)
It's really more about her own regret, isn't it? I'm sorry it's on facebook. Good luck to you and your husband!
lmao @ EJS - "wow I wrote a lot"! You did but it was all valid and helpful! Thank you so much and good luck to you as well. I wish you the best of luck with your surgery - please keep us updated. I am keeping fingers and toes crossed that there is no blockage and sending super huge positive vibes to you!! :)
@Mallory - I am so sorry to hear that. :( I know that has to be hard, I can't even imagine. The doctor was trying to be realistic without being negative by telling me that I can expect probably three miscarriages the first go around, from her experience. It really scared me, but I think she's just trying to prepare me for the worst case scenario. But even knowing that, it'll still destroy me for awhile if it happens. :( The funny thing is, I never even wanted children until I was told I might not be able to have them. And now that I'm with my wonderful husband, I want them more than I've ever wanted anything, ever.
@Melissa - SO true!! Lol! He's really looking forward to the "trying" part of things!
Thank you so much, hive. You never cease to amaze me with your caring words and advice. I don't know what I would do without WB. :)
I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through! This is just like those bitter divorced people who tell you and your fiance/new spouse that marriage is the worst, and you shouldn't have done it, and no marriage can work, etc.
I also agree that people need to think about what they say (or type) before they say it (or type it). I mean, just because she has three kids and maybe is not happy with her choices she made, doesn't mean that her situation applies to yours, even with all other facotrs taken off the table!
:( I'm sorry you're going through this. I say defriend that "friend" straightaway!
Ugh I hate people like that! Thank god I rarely got on FB when I was planning my wedding, but I did get a random "invite?" from a friends sister...who I rarely talk to. I wrote her back and said since we're paying for it ourselves a lot of my close friends couldn't even get invited...basically "umm no bitch!" but nicer.
I'm hoping all the ladies who are having feritility issues get some good news, whatever that may be for you. And layla, just a thought but maybe its possible to get a surrogate? I have no idea what your situation is, but I had cervical cancer a few years ago and had part of my cervix removed as well, though not to the degree that you did. While I should be able to conceive, carry, and not have to have my cervix sewed shut (darling, that sounds horrible, I hope its not painful but it sure sounds scary) there is still a small chance I'll have problems. Add that to some other minor medical issues, and the fact that we won't even be trying until I'm around 30, and its a real possible situation that we will have to face. My doctor has been very up front with me, and believes that I have a real chance. The whole point to this is, if it works out that I won't be able to carry a child, my sister is already on board to be a surrogate. I was crying to her back when all this first came about, and without me even thinking about it she told me she would do it for us. I know there are other logistics involved, but for her to basically give her body to us so we can have a child is explosive to me, the girl amazes me every day. I'm extremely lucky to have her.
So while there are some thing that would need to be worked out, maybe if that ends up being your situation, maybe you'll have a family member that would be willing to do it for you. Just a thought...
It never ceases to amaze me how clueless some people can be with the comments that they make. I agree that the topic of having children isn't really something that mere acquaintances should be conversing in detail with you about. It can be such a touchy subject and they never really know everything there is to know about your particular situation. Sometimes people just need to stay out of things and stop giving unwanted "advice"!
Laylabelle, I'm sorry you had to deal with this. I feel very strongly about not asking people about reproductive plans...if someone wants to talk, they will, and if not, there's probably a good reason for that.
Anyway, I just wanted to post to say that a woman I know from another online community had cervical cancer, and she did have one miscarriage. But she got pregnant again pretty quickly after that, and is now in her second trimester. Obviously, I don't know how her medical situation compares to yours, but I wanted you to know that there is hope! Best of luck on your journey, I hope everything goes smoothly for you.
This reminds me of unhappily married people "Warning" me about how hard marriage is and that I should wait.. Can't you just be happy for me and shut your face??
@Layla yes i know how you feel... after my miscarriage.. All ive wanted was to get pregnant again.. because i became so attached already , now i have all these maternity clothes left, and no belly any more :( some days i still just catch myself crying.. and with my sister in law being to the week along that i was suppost to be its like a constant reminder.. is it bad that i really dont want to see her over the holidays??.. i mean i kno its not her fault and dont get me wrong im happy for her.. its just too hard for me still. Its been 3 months but im not over it.. people dont kno how i really still feel about it except my FI he catches me cryin :( it was hard for him too but its different for the daddy ya kno?? with the hormones goin too, made it worse for me...he tells me" that we will be pregnant again.. dont "but i want it like unrealisticly NOW! but.... i keep going and telling myself everything happens for a reason and maybe its just not the right time..We are planning to get married first!! :) I am trying to concentrate on that!
People can be so thick-headed sometimes. I am "only" 30, but I am in the same boat as you. We have decided that whatever happens, happens. We are also open to adopting, if we feel strongly enough that we want a child. Either way, we aren't going to announce anything. People can stay out of my business. :-)
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ellisrobertson | 24 |
| Brielle | 22 |
 vorpalette |
22 |
| lionskitty | 22 |
| fishbone | 22 |
| SouthernGirl | 21 |
| mypinkshoes | 21 |
| caseyleigh10 | 19 |
| kat2014 | 19 |
| les105 | 19 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| SouthernGirl | 6 |
| sylvia.riggle |
6 |
| peachacid | 5 |
| smcs28 | 3 |
| Zouave | 3 |
| HollyCJ | 3 |
| blueskies7 | 3 |
| armychica06 | 2 |
| imageeksowhat | 2 |
| Gavinsmamma | 2 |
Okay - I had stuff to do but just HAD to comment on this.
Mrs. Bee wrote about this when announcing her pregnancy, and I have to agree - don't assume that every woman is capable of getting pregnant, is planning on getting pregnant, wants to get pregnant - just don't assume anything regarding anyone and pregnancy. Please?
I was talking with a friend on FB earlier, and I told her we were going to start trying to have a baby soon. An old high school "friend" posted that I just need to enjoy marriage to my new husband because once kids come along they take up all of your time and you'll never get that newlywed bliss back. Okay, I understand that.
BUT.
I don't have a long time to wait, and i posted as much. She then writes back and says she understands, we're not spring chickens anymore (we're both 32 - WTF?) but that I should just take her advice, since she has three kids.
Um. The reason I don't have forever? I had cervical cancer. I had a large portion of my cervix surgically removed. I have biopsies every three months. I was told it will be hard to conceive due to the amount of scar tissue, and that I can realistically expect to have a few miscarriages before I carry to term, IF I can carry to term. Also, they'll have to sew my cervix closed while I am pregnant.
Yeah, I'm 32. But I'm also possibly going to have a hell of a time conceiving, carrying, delivering... SO. Since I won't say it directly to her but I need to get it out -
Old high school friend - keep your "experience" out of my cervix and off of my facebook page!! Grrrr!!