Post # 1
so I wanted to keep my alst name and add FI’s last name with a dash
Melo-Joyner, which je is totally opposed to. He says if I am marrying him I should now use his name. He said if I want to keep my name and add his it is fine like Sheila Melo joyner, but I publish a lot so for publication the alst name appears and I would now be Joyner, SM and I think it is bad for my cv.
How to reason with him?
Post # 3
Sorry. Have you explained this to him? That by hyphenating your last name, your name will be alphabetized as “melo-joyner” versus the other way he suggests, where your last name will now be alphabetized under joyner? and for your line of work, it’s very important. Most professionals i know simply keep their maiden name because of their line of work. other than for the very reasonable reason you gave, i’m not sure how you can change his mind. he sounds pretty set on the role of women in marriage.
Post # 4
I can understand how frustrating this must be for you. He has to understand that you had a life before him – just because you are marrying him, that should not change. How about posing to him that for work purposes (your career reputation is essentially at stake) you will hypen but for social purposes you can introduce yourself as hislastname only?
Post # 5
Can you use his name personally and you maiden name professionally?
Post # 6
I understand your thinking about this, but I did what your Fiance is suggesting that you do (Jane Smith Doe, instead of Jane Smith-Doe), and I had no problem with people in my field figuring out who I was after the change. For publishing purposes, would there be any way for you to get the word out to your key audiences about the change in your name?
Post # 7
@sheilamelo: What about continuing to use your current name professionally and take his name legally/socially?
I’m not yet engaged, but this name thing is often a topic of debate for the similar professional reasons.
Regardless of what my legal name is, I want my professional name to be my maiden name and my social name to be my first name and his last name.