Post # 1
I’m not sure which board to post this on, sorry if it’s in the wrong spot. We don’t have an official date yet but want to get married in fall of 2013 or spring of 2014. I really don’t want to wait until 2014, because we’ve already been together for 7 years. The venue we have in mind is only open until October 6th (Sunday).
My 30th birthday is in early September 2013, so I didn’t want to have the wedding the same month. My fiance thinks I’m crazy for feeling this way. More relevant, October is always the month we’ve celebrated our ‘anniversary’ anyway, so I love the idea of an October wedding.
Since he doesn’t want a Friday or Sunday wedding, that leaves October 5th (Saturday), which is his sister’s birthday. I seem to be the only one who doesn’t want it on his sister’s birthday. She’s fine with it, and wants us to have it on her birthday instead of Sunday October 6th because of logistics (taking kids out of school, taking Monday off from work, etc.). When I told him I think it’s weird to have it on his sister’s birthday, he thinks it’s because I don’t want to “share” the day…which is not true at all. I just don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I think it’s unfair to rule out the Sunday wedding because his local family/friends would have to take Monday off, when my family has to fly from out of state for the wedding and do the same thing (which they are happy to do).
What do you think? Should I reconsider a late September wedding? Suck it up and have it on October 5th? Wait until 2014?
If it matters, it’s going to be a very small daytime wedding (<50 people) with just parents, grandparents, siblings, and nephews/nieces. It will be a 4 1/2 hour drive from where his family lives, and in a separate state from where my family lives.
Do I sound totally crazy? Because I feel like I am going crazy with this.
Post # 3
I guess I don’t understand why you are ruling out the whole month of your birthday.
I would not intentionally schedule my wedding on the same day as a family member’s birthday. We don’t make a big deal out of birthdays, but I still consider them as “someone else’s special day” and wouldn’t want to take away from that.
Post # 4
I could care less if someone’s wedding was on my b-day. I don’t put too much stock in celebrating my b-day. I’d either do it that day or do it in late September. There’s no reason why you can’t have a wedding in your bday month.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t really care if someone had their wedding on my birthday (I’m early Sept, so LOTS of people do). The only thing I’d be slightly aware of is maybe on future milestone birthdays you may end up having to celebrate your own anniversary on an alternate date?? Most of the time I think it wouldn’t matter though.
I’d also reconsider the late September dates. We had our wedding two weeks before DH’s birthday and it’s also a non-issue.
Post # 6
If your fiance’s sister is fine with you having your wedding on her birthday, then that should be good enough for you. It’s nobody else’s business (and really shouldn’t be a big deal for anyone anyway, once you’re past 12 years old or so). Plus, your future husband will have a better chance to remember your anniversary if it’s on a date that’s already important to him.
Post # 7
I totally agree with the PPs – it shouldn’t matter to you that it’s on her birthday if she has explicitly said it won’t bother her. I wouldn’t think twice if that was the only available date at my dream venue.
Post # 8
only you can decide. I wouldn’t rule out a month because it’s someones birthday, or even a day. what if you have a child in that month or that day in the future? or a niece of nephew?
I’d just pick a day and go with it.