Post # 1
Vent! My FI’s cousin is engaged and we heard through the grapevine she was thinking of the same date as us. Anyway that was fine she said she would change her date to the week before (mine can’t be moved as my parents run a wedding venue and they have turned down weddings to attend mine).
BUT THEN she went and booked the same venue as us! It is 2 hours from where we all live so its not the ‘typical’ venue. It is pretty much the only venue I can have as my church I am marrying in is in the middle of nowhere and its the closest venue to it! (Plus I love it!!)
Now she is saying if I have an issue with it I need to change venues because she changed dates. My Future Mother-In-Law agrees. I have had this venue in mind for years and I am NOT going to change it! I booked first, I had deep family history to the venue and the church -my Mum and Dad were married there and my grandmother who I was very close to is buried there and she just “thinks its a good price”.
I dont want to turn this into an issue.. but I did want my family to think “oh thats a bit stink” but even Fiance thinks its okay!
What should I do bees? I dont want half my wedding to have attended a wedding there the week before!
Post # 3
Unfortunately it doesn’t sound like she will budge, so you either have to deal with it or move your venue? I can see how you’re a bit peeved about it.
Post # 4
Honestly it is not fair to his family having the weddings so close together. I know you don’t want to move the date, but maybe summer might be better.
Post # 5
Did you already put a deposit down on the venue or sign any paperwork?
Post # 6
As upsetting as it is, your weddings will be completely different.
If it’s pretty much the only venue you can book, isn’t it also pretty much the only venue she can book?
Post # 7
Its the only venue close to my church… but there are plenty of others not close to my church i.e. we are both travelling out of the main city and its 2 hours drive (she isnt getting married at my church – no one ever has except my Mum and Dad).
I can’t change my date now as it is the only date my Mum can do (plus it is Summer where will live)
Deposit paid but only $100.
I am going to have to just deal with it!
Post # 8
Maybe put a bug in Future Mother-In-Law ear about how it will be unfair to the families having to attend two weddings so close together. Maybe spin it so that the FCIL does not make out as well so you are only looking out for her best interest. Honestly it sounds spiteful that she did it and if that is the only reason then she might be willing to change it
Post # 9
@Lib: Sounds like the right thing to do. Let it go so it doesn’t keep driving you crazy. Your wedding will be beautiful and totally different from hers.
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2011 - The Providence Biltmore
It looks like you can’t change her mind and you are unable to change your date/venue. You’re going to have to let it go. On the bright side, it’s only some of your guests who will attend the other wedding.
I suggest not breathing another word about your wedding to the cousin.
Post # 11
Frankly, if this were me, I would get a bit vindictive and just decide, well, fine, I will do everything possible to make sure I make this venue SHINE compared to your crappy attempt-at-scene-stealing wedding. It’s petty, I know, but she doesn’t seem like she’s taken the high road this whoel time either. I mean, your wedding is almost a year and a half away – it shouldn’t have been a major inconvenience to change her date, so you shouldn’t have to give her your venue for that.
Hell, a year out, I changed our date for the wedding of a couple I had never met, so that FI’s sister wouldn’t have to miss it for ours. It really didn’t bug me, because we hadn’t booked anything yet anyway.
Post # 12
@Lib: first off, STOP TELLING HER EVERYTHING!!!! DO NOT tell her your theme or colors or vendors or dress or ANYTHING! If you’re asked, lie through your teeth (and, if you wanna be really mean, make sure it’s stuff that will clash horribly… like cactus and sharks. you get the idea 😉 )
Secondly, it definitely sucks that she’s doing this and though you have a right to be irked (I sure would be!), you’ve either gotta grin and bear it (and make sure you out-do her, lol) or change.
My vote is for out-doing her and telling her lies, lol.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t worry about it. By the time you get done counting friends, family friends and your side of the family, only 1/3 will have seen the place beforehand. And half of them will be guys who will just think “great, I know how to get there because I went last week!” and think nothing more of it.
You did ask her to change dates, so while it sucks she picked the same venue, I think you need to let this one go. Don’t tell her anything more – and maybe think about asking the venue if they can create some wedding dish off menu for the entree.
Post # 14
@baliahi1029: I don’t like being catty but I agree. Don’t tell her any of her plans just let the bees ideas help you to have a sweet, personalized wedding that just screams how amazing it is. When she sees that SHE will be the one doing the comparison and you will come out on top. 🙂
Sweetest revenge is guests complimenting your menu, the music, your decor and not hers.
Post # 15
Thanks so much everyone… you’ve been awesome. I havent told her anything else and will keep it that way from now on. One thing is that it’s own catering so that part will be different 🙂 Just have to look on the bright side and make it extra special so people like mine more a week later!
Post # 16
@Zinzerena:I totally agree with you!!