Dating a married man

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Could you date a man still legally married?
    Yes : (90 votes)
    29 %
    No : (224 votes)
    71 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    405 posts
    Helper bee

    @MrsVMT:  I would only date a legally married man if he had already filed for divorce.

    Post # 4
    Member
    7262 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Only if the divorce was already in progress.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5932 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @MrsVMT:  Meh…the marriage isn’t held together by that little scrap of paper, it certainly cannot be destoryed by it either.  It sounds like this guy’s marriage is over, they’ve moved on, and he’s waiting to file the paperwork because he knows his wife and that it has to be her idea or else.

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, or dating someone in that situation, he deserves to be happy, however it happens.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1249 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    The old adage “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free” comes to mind.

    If she will date the man while he’s married, then he has no motivation to get a divorce. 

    Every reason you’ve listed for him to stay married is merely an excuse. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    329 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @MrsVMT:  I think she is fine to do so. If they are beyond the point of recconciliation and have been seperated for over a year I think its fine. If it were a recent seperation of just a few months I would be more hesitant and be concerned about a rebound, but in this case I wouldnt mind.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2913 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

    I think I could…IF he was in the process of divorcing her. Otherwise I would worry they could possibly get back together.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1083 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @MrsVMT:  I don’t understand. If he has been living on his own for a year then it seems like they already have made a huge impact on their son’s life. To me, that situation doesn’t sound like she would get revengeful unless she thinks they are still trying to work on their marriage. I don’t think that the wife finding a new man would change anything…and what if that doesn’t happen for 4 years? 

    Post # 10
    Member
    3433 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    A marriage is a whole lot more than a piece of paper. While the piece of paper is still valid, it sounds like the marriage isn’t.  So long as he’s open and honest about the situation, I don’t think there’s an issue, but I think it would be important to verify that he REALLY is seperated and there’s no chance of that relationshio rekindling first. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    689 posts
    Busy bee

    Just a bad idea all around. If she dates him and then eventually he files, then she’s going to be dragged into that mess. Tell her to avoid the drama. Tell her to tell him to call her when he’s divorced. That way, it’s all said and done and no wondering or worrying about what ifs.

    Post # 12
    Member
    7664 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    No no no. All of those reasons sound like the type of thing a man tells a woman when he is cheating on his wife and has no intention to come clean. How does she know he doesn’t have a second house which he uses as his love nest, but he really lives at home with his family?

    If I was going to date someone who was still married, he would have to be actively divorcing, and I would want proof. I’ve seen too many people duped and heard too many stories.

    Post # 13
    Member
    922 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I have a different opinion on this, only because I’ve experienced it personally. My ex was still married when we started dating. They had been seperated for about a year, and they were working out the details of seperating their finances, loans and taxes before filing for divorce. It made perfect sense, he filed for divorce a few weeks after we started dating, and all was fine.

    Post # 14
    Member
    4440 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    How does she know he doesn’t just have a side house where he is able to have a 2nd life? I’ve heard of this happening many a times!

    To answer your question, nope! 

    Post # 15
    Member
    3280 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I wouldn’t date a married or divorced man unless he was divorced because the wife cheated/abused/abandoned him. If he can’t stick out a marriage for any other reason then why would I want to be with him?

    Post # 16
    Member
    1140 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: Seattle, WA

    I met my SO while he was in the process of a divoce.  When we met, he had already filed paperwork and they had been living separately for almost a year.  It did take awhile for the papers to finalize though!

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