(Closed) Dating a Sailor long distance. I need advice

posted 5 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
  • poll: Would you date him if you were me?
    Yes : (33 votes)
    61 %
    No : (21 votes)
    39 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1455 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    He sounds like a great guy, but I’m not a big fan of LDRs. Not that they don’t wory out sometimes (maybe even often), I just don’t like being in them. I found it was so hard to see how well we did in regular life, and it was so hard to really enjoy the bulk of my time, because we were always apart. When he gets to settle into his home base, will that be near you? If I were your I might stay friends and keep in touch until such a time as you can be together and give it an in person try to see where it goes. But that’s just me, you know your feelings best!

    Post # 5
    Member
    868 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @MrsVMT:  Hi there hon. I have been in an LDR for a while and I don’t find it boring it all. if anything it’s less boring than a typical relationship because your partner is never around! That being said, I’m sure you know it is a tough life. But, you mentioned you wanted to take it slow, so this might actually work from you because you’ll get more alone time this way?

    If you go ahead and take it slow with him you won’t be wasting any time because you won’t be committed yet, at least that’s what I think 

    Post # 6
    Member
    8464 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I couldn’t do this, but that doesn’t mean you can’t.  For me, a big part of the relationship is physical; getting to hug, kiss, cuddle, etc on a daily basis is important for me.  If it was just a casual relationship, I wouldn’t care as much, but I would have a hard time if it got serious.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2254 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    My DH and I were in a LDR 5/6 out of the 7 years we were together. Like you we also met when I was in college. It was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Bc of his family and work he was rooted firmly in AZ. Bc of my schooling and subsequent career I was in LA and TX. There were times I didn’t think we could make it together. We love each other but it was hard to miss out on the every day things that I think couples who see each other every day take for granted. We missed birthdays and holidays. There were no spontaneous dates for us. Relationships are hard. They’re even harder when they’re LDR. All this being said, they are doable but you have to go in with the mindset that it’s not going to be like other relationships you had. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    270 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I was in an LDR with my FI for almost 4 years.  The reason we did LDR was because we had 5 wonderful years together of close distance and knew that we would get through it.  People with very strong foundations before starting LDR struggle enough with it.  IT is a lot of hard word, and I don’t recommend starting an LDR without  a stronger foundation for your relationship.  I would say let it go, while you’re not too attached yet.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think you two have had a good first start and as you two communicate more you both will become closer. I will say go for it but just pace yourself and know that he cant come home as often as you would like so you need to prepare yourself for that. Your relationship will not be boring because you may have times when he will not be able to contact you and if that happens when you do you will have a lot to talk about.

    BIG HUG

    Post # 10
    Member
    78 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I am a Navy wife, so I understand completely.  My hubby and I were friends before he joined and we started dating a year after he joined.  Our first few months were LD, luckily he got stationed here.  He will deploy/go underway a lot, but you should still get regular (maybe even daily, or several daily) emails from him.  It is definitely a tough life; it’s said that over half military marriages end in divorce, but both my hubby’s and I’s parents were Navy couples and are still happily married, so there is hope!

     

    IMO, give it a shot.

    Post # 11
    Member
    78 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Oh oops, just saw the last part of your post…  Ummm, lol!  Makes post of my post irrelevant.

     

    Just take it slow and let things develop naturally.

    Post # 12
    Member
    103 posts
    Blushing bee

    I agree with some of the other ladies. I am not a fan of long distance relationships, but if trying to get to know him take it slow. I remember trying to get to know a man who was overseas too. I think I was the only one writing him, but when he got back we didn’t really keep in touch. I guess because he had more options. I just say don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

    Post # 13
    Member
    237 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @MrsVMT:  I think it really depends on how much you want this relationship. My FI is a USN Submariner (Sailor for a general term), and we started out talking online for a month, and then he got transferred to a base about 1.5hrs from me when we started dating.

     

    I fell in love with him less than a month after we started dating, so the LDR thing really didn’t bother me as long as I was able to see him (our whole relationship has been confined to weekends only due to our jobs). Plus we go for long months without seeing each other because of his deployment schedules.

     

    If you really think this guy is worth it, I’d say go for it. He sounds like a nice guy, and a gentleman. But if you really have a strong hestitance, I’d say give it a little more time and get to know each other before settling on a BF/GF relationship.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1189 posts
    Bumble bee

    @MrsVMT:  OP, just curious on the current status, if you’re willing to share? 🙂

    The topic ‘Dating a Sailor long distance. I need advice’ is closed to new replies.

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