(Closed) dating after a break up

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1330 posts
Bumble bee

I think there is nothing wrong with going out on a date once you  feel comfy to do so. The most important thing is to relax, have fun, and treat is VERY lightly. I think the biggest mistake a lot of girls make is diving in too soon and getting too comfortable, sort of falling in to where they had left off in the previous. It isn’t fair to get serious with anyone right now and you will find your focus will not be completely on any new guy. Speed dating is an interesting way to meet new people and for some companionship or fun, why not? I’m sort of a “try nything once” kinda girl, though…it is really up to you.

The best advice I ever got honestly was from my brother. He told me to date myself for a year. Considering I always seemed to have a boyfriend in highschool got married at 21, divorced at 29 and was dating by 30 again…after a fizzled out long term he asked me when was te last time I was alone..like, totally alone.

Dating myself was actually A LOT OF FUN!!!!

I took myself to the bookstore and then down to the beach, I drew, I wrote poetry as therapy. I went on road trips. It really helped the healing process and while I had the odd “date” here and there…it was more a dinner out and nothing more.

There is no reason to rush these things, Id highly recommend a pet if you dont have one. 🙂

 

ETA: I was a single mom as well and I know where you are coming from. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Maybe it’s too soon for you to think about dating again.  I know for some people, a quick rebound works wonders, but I think it’s more important to work on yourself.  When you’re with someone that long, he becomes a part of you, and it does feel like half of you is missing.  It’s normal, and it will take time to heal.  If you want a funny sarcastic article about why breakups suck? click here.  http://www.cracked.com/article_18673_6-scientific-reasons-breakups-suck-worse-than-you-think.html

The reason I want you to read the article is because I want you to be able to detach yourself from the emotions a little bit.  I know that sounds hard.  But personally for me, it hurts a lot less to think “I miss him because I’m going through a type of withdrawal and decrease in feel good endorphins” than to think “I miss him because I can’t imagine my life without him.”

Also, maybe you need to tap into the person you were before he walked into your life.  What did you like to do?  hobbies you had?  I’m sorry you’re going through this.  I know its very hard.  But you’ll get through this.  =)

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