- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2015
I have been with my Boyfriend or Best Friend for awhile now, but I have caught a lot of slack for it because of when we met. Yes, I am the first person that he went out with after he became separated from the XW. My friends are still (months later) telling me that I need to watch out and that I cannot possibly be the one for him since we met right out of the gate.
The thing is this: We are both in our early 30’s…I have never been married, he was married for 5 years, together for 10. They met young and had totally different views on everything. He spent 10 years saying, “well maybe after (insert life event) happens, things will get better.” They did counseling, they tried having a bunch of reconnecting vacations, all kinds of stuff. He says the marriage was never good and he knew a year before the separation that things were over.
Then I come along…we met a month after she moved out (a lot of her stuff was still in the house, etc. but she had her own apartment) and we knew from when we met that it was different. We were both hesitant to get into something romantic right away given his situation, but after 3 weeks of hanging out 3-4 days a week just as friends (no touching, just hours and hours of fun and deep conversation) we kissed and became a couple.
We have the same values, future plans/goals, hobbies, etc. which is hard to come by for people like us- his passion is farming and he owns a farm, I am an outdoors girl who loves to get my hands dirty and spent years working on a farm (different type, but still a farm)..my family is not into farming, I just have always persued it and wanted it for future- the XW was an “inside girl” (just saying)
He started talking about wanting to marry me about 3 months into our relationship. I felt the same. We did have a minor hiccup when the papers got written up and he took a week to grieve/reflect on the demise of his marriage (he was sure that he had finished grieving through the marriage counseling a year before, but they were still living together at the time), then he came back and our relationship is stronger than ever.
So now that you read all that, I guess my question is, is anyone marrying the first person they dated after their separation started? I hate to think that what he is feeling cannot possibly be real and that I am in some sort of fantasy relationship that will turn out badly. I have done a lot of dating and I cannot possibly think of a better match for me.
Thanks in advance for your response!