Post # 1
Ok so there has been a push on the 20 something board to add some content that is not just “people think I’m young” so I’ll add a topic I’ve been thinking about lately.
Dating as a Couple…. What do I mean by this? I find that our friends are often split. Some married, some in serious relationships, some still playing the field. Although you can obviously still all hang out its nice to have another couple to hang out with. So how do you date as a couple and find another couple you can hang out with. FI and I are moving to a new state and we need to find some new friends….together.
Do you find its harder to meet people as a couple than as indivduals? Do you find it harder to hang out with single friends now that your married/engaged?
PS I’ve actually seen this whole idea played out on How I Met Your Mother and King of Queens.
Post # 3
@Snowy414: this is a good topic!
I think it is hard to find “couple” friends! We are lucky to have a lot of “couple” friends. Most are a little bit older than us, but that doesn’t matter. I think that it is hard because so many younger people are still in that “lets go party” phase; but FI and I are really trying to save for a house right now and that sometimes means that we are hermits. That makes it hard for us to hang out with out single or casually dating friends!
With that said, I think that being engaged/married can sometimes be ood for casually dating friends or single friends because you can be a good influence to them. FI and I were talking with a friend and his gf the other night and we were talking about finances and wanting to buy a house and they said “wow I wish we could talk like this!”
I think it can be easier to find couples/friends as a couple…gives you common ground kind of!
Where are you moving if you don’t mind me asking?
Post # 3
i love how i met your mother! haha marshall with his plate of cheese – i would love to be friends with him and lily
my husband and i are always trying to find new friends! come be friends with us! haha
I have alot of family so i tend to hang out with them alot which works in my benefit, i love them! i prefer to hang out with other couples, because i tend to be the kind of person that likes to entertain or just sit around and have some drinks but its def difficult to mesh schedules. I have maybe 2 really good couple friends that we try and get together with but it always seems they have plans or we have plans but we try at least once a month –
its much easier to schedule stuff with single friends i think, though alot of my single friends still do the retail/restaurant work so to grab a drink with them means 9 or 10 oclock at night which is usually when im winding down and getting ready for bed haha. (now i feel old)
i dont think its so hard to meet people, as much as it is finding people that you both really enjoy hanging out with.
Post # 4
@Snowy414: I love that episode!
My FI and I have a couple that we are in a long term relationship with. We go out at least once a week with them. Our dogs have play dates. Its just so nice to have another couple that’s in the same mindset and same stage in life as we are.
Post # 5
@soontobmrsc: Boise. You can take the girl out of colorado but you can’t take colorado out of the girl. 🙂
@totheislnds: HIMYM is one of my favorite shows. I fear FI and I will be that coupld that does the walk through of the night before the couple arrives. I’ll make sure to get extra batteries.
I think its important that you each have your own friends but its nice to have other couples who can talk about things like combining savings, and timelines for kids that bore single friends. We have some great “couple” friends but we all live in different states. we try to do a group vacation every other year or so.
Post # 6
I think that its harder to meet couples, or make couple friends. I dont know why.. Maybe bc it has to be 4 comatable people vs just two. Thats all i can think of..
Post # 7
@Snowy414: When I first came into the group fiance had a set group of friends, and generally I am pretty solitary. Well that group came and went since they couldn’t deal with us as a couple. We became serious quickly, were the first to get engaged in our group, etc.
Since then we have begun making couple friends. Mr. Polar Bear is 22 and I am 23, so it is a bit hard to find people in our age group that are as seriously committed as we are. We have two technical “couple friends”. One set is Mr. Comic Peddler and his toxic gf Ms. Comic Peddler. He is 32 and she is 24. I find that because she is younger, Ms. Comic Peddler is more into partying then we are and it makes it hard for any of us to hang out. Our other couple is great, really solid, no toxicity. He’s 29 and she is 30.
I think if you are looking for couple friends and are having trouble you might want to look into an age bracket higher than yours. I find that early 30s is where we find couple friends since these are people usually settled down like we are.
Post # 8
We have one couple that are our friends but I would say they are more his friends. We each have our respective single friends and hang out with them every once in a while. It’s hard to find people similar to you as a couple!
Post # 9
I can totally relate! We live in a college town so some of our friends are students and are at a very different place in their lives than we are. We are starting to find we have more in common with our “couple” friends–we’ve sort of started a rotating roster of weekend double dates with a few couples we really like to hang out with. We met most of them through other friends or through FI’s work.
We definitely still have our single friends, but it’s fun to do stuff with couples who we can really relate to and who are going through similar life experiences. I think it can be easier to find friends as a couple, because I always think it’s easier to say “We should double date sometime!” than to ask someone to hang out one-on-one. It sort of gives you that social buffer.
Post # 10
Me and FI have NO couple friends that we hang out with… well we don’t have much friends in general. Most people our age are just stupid and immature so we don’t like hanging out with them, then older people don’t really take us seriously enough to want to hang out… We are kind of stuck. But we have eachother so it doesn’t matter to me much.
Post # 11
We need more couple friends too!!! We have one who we hang out with pretty often. FI was actually roommates with the husband and friends with the wife in college so when I came into the picture they “adopted” me lol. Anddd that’s about it. We meet every 2 weeks for dinner and do things (go to movies or plays or take trips) together in between.
We took a premarital class at our church and the pastor was talking about starting a young married couples group. I think that would be a good way for us to make new friends because there were a few couples in our classes that had “couple friend potential.” I know they have those things at other churches too so maybe that’s a good thing to explore?
This thread reminded me of the episode of “Friends” when Monica and Chandler met a couple on the train (I think) and they were really excited about making them their couple friends but the people gave them a wrong number!
Post # 12
@Running Elley: Another good episode that addresses this issue. Is that the episode when they met that couple on their honeymoon that the love and can’t stop talking about only to get the wrong number?
Also church is a good resource for that I imagine. Sort of a “duh” moment but thats a good thing to think about.
Post # 13
our friends are pretty mixed. there’s a good number of couples that are either married, engaged, or in an otherwise serious relationship that we socialize with, but then both of our “best” friends that we see the most in the city we live in now are single. with my bff, i usually either see her alone or with my hubby, or sometimes with other friends, and it’s not awkward at all–she’s told me i’m her “chill” friend, she comes over to our apt when she just wants a low-key kind of night. we do brunch a lot too. or when it’s nice out, the 2 of us take my dog on really nice walks/picnics in central park. she has said things though about how much more “grown up” and homey our apt is, since she’s dealing with bad roommate issues and such. hubby’s best friend is different, always wants to be out meeting girls and getting drunk, etc (but then, he also just broke up with his fiancee who was cheating on him, so that makes sense for now!). i think he thinks we’re lame home-bodies, but whatever 😉 when we were dating earlier in our relationship, many more of our friends were single, and we went out much more often with them than we do now. like, for the first year or so we dated, about 5 years ago, we had a regular happy hour every single thursday, and then kickball with them all another night, then out at least once per weekend. but as we’ve gotten into our later 20s, everyone has chilled out a lot, and many have settled down. including our friend who hubs and i consider the “barney” from himym in our group of friends–now he’s had a serious gf for like 3 years, works ALL the time, and drinks much, much less than in his early 20s
Post # 14
Since you are moving somehwere new, you can join various groups – for example, I know a few ppl/ couples who recently moved to Dallas and met ppl from alumni groups from colleges that are nowhere near Texas.
So alumni groups. social outing groups, even blogs (a friend of mine and her now ex bf actually met another couple on a blog site about fish (not fishing, but pet fish)
Post # 15
We have a few “couple” friends that we go on double dates with–one of them is in our wedding party (bridesmaid and groomsman) which is really great, and they also have two tiny dogs so we have little doggie play dates. We also have a few close friends who are single and who we hang out with at least once or twice a week. The majority of our friends are male (all of FI’s friends and at least half of my friends) so we always encourage them to get girlfriends/dates so we can double date!
We still sit around playing video/board/card games and drinking wine with whoever wants to hang out with us… single or coupled.