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My FI and I are both over 30 with 2 children each. We met on a humble and started hanging out NOT DATING just because we enjoyed each others company. Eventually we started dating (not exactly sure when just kinda happened) and it was such a smooth transition for both of our families. One evening we were stretched out across the floor listening to music and drinking wine and he just blurted out " I wanna do this forever with you". So of course im thinking its the wine talking,kissed him, smiled, and continued with our evening. From that day on he had made it very clear that I was what he wanted in a wife everytime we were together. We both fell deeply in love and decided that we were both wanted "forever" with each other. All of this in 6 months and I dont doubt for a second that he is not my one, but I often wonder how many other people dated for less then a year before they knew they found their soulmate.
Im with you! I met my FI in Dec. 2010 via Facebook/Mutual Friend. After a week of messages phone calls and texts - we met downtown on a Friday. Hung out that saturday, tuesday, thursday, following weekend etc. IMMEDIATELY knew "hey i like this person. i wanna be around this person" etc. Feb 6 2011 we became officially a couple, and he proposed in September of 2011! Were getting married August 2012 -- and there is without a doubt that he is the most perfect man for me and it was in Gods plan! Soo in love!
Good for you! Best of luck to your relationship :)
My Finace and I were only dating for 10 months when he proposed and he started discussing the possibility of marriage. Like you, we had known eachother for quite a while before actually officially dating. Because I am quite young and we hadn't dated officially very long, my parents were a bit worried first, but they warmed up over time as they see how amazing he is and how well he takes care of me. I definitely have had some people say some negative things but everyone close to me was really happy when I told them the news.
Congratulations to you! I'm sure you both will make a happy family 
It wouldn't have been possible for us because we met in college, but I could definitely see it if we met later in life.
Sometimes you just know :) My SO and I each had that feeling the day we met, and within weeks really truly knew that this was a forever thing. I think especially when you have kids (SO and I each have a child) like you and your FI do, you're not just thinking about where to go on a Friday night. You're seriously considering very early on the other's traits that make them a good partner, a good parent, a good housemate, finances, etc. to determine whether he/she is a good fit for your family. Congrats!
I knew I found my soulmate after just a few months of dating, but I wasn't ready to be married. He wasn't either. But we were very serious very early on. Some of my friends gave me a hard time, but 4 years later we are still madly in love.
Sometimes when you know, you know! :)
I met my FI in September of 2009, he moved in with me in July of 2010, proposed in August of 2010, and we're getting married in August of 2012. We decided on a longer engagement but everything else was kind of whirlwind... and I wouldn't have it any other way!
9 months for us! And we get married in one month, so an 11 month engagement. We will have been together for two years in July.
Thanks you bee's I was really worried about the possible responses to this post. I must admitt not everyone (some of my family) feels that you will know if hes/she the one on such a short period of time. I read many post about long term dating/realtionships and often wondered was I the only odd duck who dated less then a year before getting engaged.
Good luck to you guys also !!!!!
** HUGS**
I generally fall into the camp that you should date for at least a year before getting engaged. I am not saying that it can't work out fine if you don't, but if it is the right thing it will be the right thing in six months when you know each other even more.
We dated about 11 months when we got engaged and will be engaged 11 months when we get married. We both knew rather quickly that we were meant to be together.
For us its 6 months of dating and 8 months of being engaged......And I love every minute of it :)
I met my DH online in Dec 2009 and chatted a bit back and forth. He lived in England and me in NC. Then in July 10 I told him it sucked he lived so far away because I had a huge crush on him ( thank you Jim Beam). He made his irst visit in Nov '10 and we were engaged in March '11 on our 3rd visit. I think if there hadn't been an ocean between us it would have happened sooner. I was 39 and he was 37. I actulay said to my friend the night I told him I had a crush on him I was going to marry him. I just knew we were meant to be together.
Congrats and best wishes to you both!
When you know, you know! I met my fiance in June 2011. We became a couple pretty much overnight! He proposed 3 weeks ago on January 8 2012 after not quite 7 months of being together. We are planning an October 2012 wedding!!!! On our wedding day, we will have been a couple less than a year and a half! I wouldn't change a thing! No two paths are the same....follow your heart!
My parents! My dad was 28, my mom was 23. They met in the Spring, and were married next January! They are still married, it hasn't always been smooth sailing, but I wouldn't worry if you KNOW :)
We courted for less than a year, planned a wedding, and were married in less than a year of becoming a couple! - priceless and we are so happy
If you know you just know.... I don't think there should be a time limit on how you should know when it's right. We were together for about a year before we were married, we've known each other for several years before that, though.
My in-laws actually got married after only KNOWING each other for 10 days! They've been married over 40 years. I don't think there's any magic formula for what works.
I think it's possible to know early on you've found someone good, but that doesn't mean that you must get married right away. Sometimes when we're in love, it's the chemicals that take charge.
I just want to voice a concern with getting married too fast, for what it's worth. There is no rush to get married, and you can't be too careful especially when children are involved. Although you may know already he's the right person for you, it doesn't hurt to wait to get to know each other better.
My parents met in February, were engaged in April and married in November of the same year. They have been married for 31 years.
DH and I were engaged at 18 months and married at 2 years. The only reason we waited so long to get engaged is because we were in different cities and we obviously needed to be in the same place. He ordered my e-ring the day he got offered a job where we live.
When DH moved away 4 months into dating, he promised me that he would marry me someday.
Maybe a bit of a generalization, but we are both 28 and I think age and life experience plays a big part in being able to recognize "the one" really quickly.
That's lovely. I think when you know he's the one you just know. I knew SO was the one after 3 months. I've been with him 18 months and we aren't engaged yet but if you're both ready now then go for it! We have other "life" things going on with us at the moment and getting married just isn't a priority right now.
My parents were married on the 7th week after they met. It has been 35 years. Sometimes you just know.
My grandparents met in October 1956 and were married December 22, 1956. My grandfather was 23 and I believe my grandmother was between 20-21. They are the most passionately in love couple I've ever known, and I love their story because it proves that sometimes it doesn't matter - you just know.
Similarly, my best friend met her husband through yahoo! personals when he was stationed overseas (Air Force). After a few months of talking through email/im/phone, they met in person when he returned from deployment and it was an instant gut feeling for both: this is it. They were engaged within 3 months of meeting each other in person and just celebrated 5 years of marriage this past October.
FI and I, on the other hand, were friends for a year and dated for 3.5 before getting engaged. But I think we both knew early on that this was forever.
Personally, I wouldn't contemplate marriage until I was past the honeymoon period. With my OH, it lasted about 2.5 years, and to me, coming through that is kind of 'make or break'. So many couples get caught up in the initial lust and excitement, and then when that wears off, they realise that actually, there are some issues. I would also question how well you can know someone after less than a year together.
I'm not saying that's the same for everyone, and I'm not saying you can't love someone early on, and know that you will likely marry them; but personally, I don't see the need to rush into marriage. Why not just enjoy being a couple, get past that honeymoon period, and then start to talk about marriage?
He claimes he knew after the first date (which was ironicly not even a date, and my father was there) I took some convincing and after some on-again-off-again long-distance-nonsence we are finally making it work.
Looking back, he is the exact same guy and is exactly who I want to spend the rest of my life with, I just didn't know what I wanted at the time and he did.
So I totally believe it is possible
FI and I moved in together at 4 months, got engaged at 5 months and will be married at 2 years and 4 months. It's perfect for us and we couldn't be happier.
we knew by 2-3 weeks after meeting that we meant to be together. he proposed within 3 months from our first date. we both agreed to a longer engagement (we wanted to do a lot of travelling first). that was 2.5 years ago, we are getting married in april.
my dad and step-mom met in april and married in august. they've been together for over 30 years now. (they were very supportive of us getting engaged so quickly).
I knew that DH was the one after 1 month of dating him. That said - we dated for almost 4 years before we got engaged and almost 5 before we got married.
We hit a rough patch around year 2; it's when I feel we really learned to communicate with each other and navigate through how we both deal with anger, sorting out feelings, etc.
I think the benefit to dating longer is you have more time to learn how to navigate those situations without the additional commitment/pressures of marriage.
I had a friend who started dating her DH a couple months after I started dating mine. She got engaged at 5 months and was married by 10 months. She's had a really rocky time during their marriage because for her, there were a lot of things she hadn't realized when they were dating. (they were both over 30 with no kids). That doesn't mean he wasn't the one or that they are headed for divorce - she just wishes they would have worked certain issues out before they got married, which would have happened had they dated longer.
The other thing I think is when you get engaged, the focus shifts from the relationship to wedding planning and I think the focus on the relationship gets reintroduced after the wedding craze is settled.
Anyway - not sure if any of that makes sense, but that's likely where most of the concern lies from (assuming you are getting the 'are you sure' type comments from people).
DH and I met online when I was 35 and he was 33 back in 2008. We were engaged in less than 6 months, but I think we both knew right away that we were a good match and were going to be together forever! We were married almost a year from our proposal date and are going on 3 years of marriage! For some people you just know and I have never felt like we rushed into anything, he is my best friend!
We are all going to know of couples whose marriage did or didnt make it after dating for a short period of time, but we also know of other couples who marriage did or didnt make it after dating and being engaged a long period of time. But at my age with 2 kids and his age with kids and already being married previously, I think you know when its the real thing. But knowing the reality that it is a short period of time, we are doing a extensive period of marriage and family therapy to help blend our family better. I am not saying our way of doing things is right, its just right for us .....
My opinion is its not rushing into anything its making a committment to each other and our kids to do things right according to our standards.
Hopefully this is not coming out wrong :(
We were best friends for 4 months, before we decided to take the plunge and I moved in. We already knew we wanted to get married, so our wedding will be in 2 weeks (EEK!), about 9 months after first meeting each other...
I knew I found my soulmate in my FI after a few months of dating. We actually began to talk about marriage around four months in. We didn't get engaged after less than a year but we did get engaged shortly after one year. I just knew he was the one to be with so I didn't think anything of it. =)
we new pretty much right away that we were going to be together forever. We moved in together after 4 months. Engaged after a year and 3 months but talked about it much sooner than that.
I met my FI in June and in August we went on a day trip to the lake. It was while he was holding me in the middle of the lake that I knew he was the one. A year later we were engaged.
I met my FI in August 2010 and we got engaged in April 2011 and are getting married in April, so we got engaged after 8 months and will be together a year and a half by the time we get married. I definitely think that sometimes 'you just know' but also practically age is an issue - waiting several years to get engaged/married is one thing in your early / mid 20's but it is another when you are in your 30's esp. if you want to have a family together. Also, I think once you are a little older, you know yourself a little better and so you know what is right for you.
@oracle: that makes a lot of sense. i agree. that's one reason i wanted to wait to start planning the wedding. i wanted to "live" together before the excitement of planning a wedding overshadowed the reality of life.
DH and I are in our 40s, and we met online. Both strong Christians who were seeking a spouse of like beliefs and values, we first communicated via the website and then by phone and text. We finally met a little more than two months later. By the end of our second date, we both knew something special was happening. Because we lived in different states and were several hours apart, and because he was a single dad with 50 percent custody of his kids, and he also works nearly every weekend, it was challenging for us to spend more than a few hours together two or three times per month. However, he immediately knew I was the one for him, and told me he planned to propose. I was the one who required a little more convincing, but, four months after our first date, I gave him the "go ahead" to move forward with a surprise proposal at the time of his choosing. We went ring shopping together so that he would know what I liked, and seven months after we were first matched online, he formally asked me to marry him. We had an 11-month engagement.
I think a lot of people know they found their soulmate less than 6 months in - they just don't get engaged then. The two things are not the same. Many people wait years because they think it's wise; many wait years to save up money. It doesn't necessarily mean people who waited longer were any less sure of their everlasting love in those first few months (though equally, I am sure it takes some people a long time to realise someone is the one).
I think this can totally work out and there's nothing wrong with it. I have a close friend who dated her husband for six months and married him four months after getting engaged (less than a year total) and they are still together.
I also think it is important that you realize though that relationships change. That kind of excited, passionate, emotional high feeling that they say usually lasts for an average of 2 years will evolve into a different type of love and I hope people who get married fast will not be surprised/depressed when that happens.
I sometimes think it would have been fun to get married while still in that stage though (some people call it the "honeymoon" phase or whatever).
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