Post # 1
I’ve been out of this dating game for awhile (longterm boyfriend for many years) and just need some advise.
I’ve been seeing this guy about 2 weeks. In those two weeks, we’ve gone on a bunch of dates, I’ve met some of his friends, he’s met my best friend, and we’ve had a couple sleepovers. I’ve also overheard him on the phone telling people ‘how happy he is.’ I told him I’m not ready for sex yet…he seems frustrated but willing to wait. We text nonstop everyday. At one point we had plans to hang out, but I got sick and he stopped by to bring over soup for me.
My question I guess is at what point do I know if we’re exclusive? Is it too early? Should I wait until he brings it up or should I do it? We’re both southern traditional and he’s a true gentleman it seems.
There are other guys who keep texting me to hang out and I’ve ignored them all so far…should I be ignoring them or not until we have ‘the talk”
Post # 3
@sweetgirl1234: In the past when I have been in situations like these I have said to him, “Just so you know, I am not dating (or sleeping with) anyone else but you at the moment , and I kind of like it that way.” Usually that opens the door for the “talk”.
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2013 - rolling hills of southern italy
You are probably ignoring them because you aren’t interested because you are interested in this other guy. But you should tell him thy. Talk about it. Communication is important, and you are just as much a part of this relationship as he is. Tell him how awesome he is and how hanging out with him makes you ignore everyone else who wants to date you because you only feel like dating him! See what he says!
Post # 5
@sweetgirl1234: My older sister once advised me never to put all my eggs in one man’s basket until we’ve made our relationship clearly defined. But in your case it really sounds like you guys are headed to exclusivity if not already there. Talk to him…it seems awkward but I’ve been in a situation like yours before only to find out after a whole year he hadn’t been exclusive with me! Not to scare you, but rather talk about it now and set the stage for good communication, than skirt around the issue.
Post # 6
Don’t assume anything. You need to hear him say the words before you can consider yourselves anything.
Post # 7
@sweetgirl1234: at two weeks i wouldn’t worry about it. Maybe in a few more if it hasnt come up naturally then bring it up?
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
@Sunflower–girl: Agreed – have the talk before jumping to any conclusions, you’ll be happy you did.
I’ve found out the hard way that you can’t assume anything >_<
Post # 9
OP-My SO asked me if we could be exclusive and that is when he became my boyfriend.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
@sillysillybee: I think this is a great approach, it lets him know your intentions but without putting the pressure on
Post # 11
@sweetgirl1234: sounds like he is “exclusive” for you and maybe you just want to know if you are “exclusive” to him, so I would wait a little while more before you have the “the talk”…sounds a lot like when I first started dating my DH…he eventually “asked” me to his girlfriend and that’s when it became exclusive. GL and he sounds wonderful
Post # 12
I would just be up front with him and say something like “I don’t know what you want out of this relationship but until it’s actually made known that we are exclusive I’m considering us just simply dating.”
Post # 13
I was “seeing” SO for 3 weeks before we made it official, but we were friends for 1.5 years before that. It was a little easier for me to talk about the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. I was also in your shoes with other people talking to me. I decided that I wouldn’t do anything with anyone else because I saw it as the “start” to a relationship. If I slept with someone else even though we weren’t exclusive, it would have hurt him.
I’d wait a few more weeks and maybe say a couple suggestive things to him. I honestly don’t think it would hurt to ask him what he considers you? Maybe ask “what would you think of me being your girlfriend?”
Post # 14
Thanks everyone for your awesome advise. 🙂 I think I’m just kind of nervous because I never expected to be so smitten by him. Hopefully I’ll just be able to be patient and let him bring it up…although he does like a woman who takes initiative. I did text him the other day and was like “I don’t play games and I don’t lie…i really like you a lot” and he was like “I feel the same :)”
He’s so sweet and told me multiple times he doesn’t know how to be an asshole. I think I’m just so used to being treated badly that I’m suspicious of him and his motives, when I probably shouldn’t be. If he says he likes me, I should just be able to trust that he does!
Post # 15
@sweetgirl1234: I was in a relationship for 8 yrs prior. I’m 28 now. I didn’t know how to just date someone. I was so use to being in a relationship. So when I met my now FI, I did the opposite. I didn’t take it so seriously, I didn’t read into things and took it a day at a time because I didn’t want to get hurt. I really liked him tho and I’m the type that don’t like to date multiple guys at the same time anyway. We dated for about close to two months. My ex kept texting me at the time and my FI said, “tell him you have a BF!” He was pissed of course. But then I turned to him and said, ” I don’t remember you asking me to be your GF.” Lol. From that point on we were official. Although it seemed we were official before that, according to him. Lol.
So you never know when he’ll just turn to you and ask you to be his gf. I would just wait a bit longer. He seems as if he’s really into you. The right time will come, no need to rush it. 🙂
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2013 - Lake Taghkanic State Park
If it seems like you’re exclusive, or if you want to be exclusive with him, I think it’s smart not to lead on any other guys. If I were in your situation and anyone asked I would probably just say I was “seeing someone” but I wouldn’t call him your “boyfriend” until you’ve had the talk.