(Closed) dating question: is he your boyfriend?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2168 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@sweetgirl1234:  In the past when I have been in situations like these I have said to him, “Just so you know, I am not dating (or sleeping with) anyone else but you at the moment , and I kind of like it that way.” Usually that opens the door for the “talk”.

Post # 4
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - rolling hills of southern italy

You are probably ignoring them because you aren’t interested because you are interested in this other guy. But you should tell him thy. Talk about it. Communication is important, and you are just as much a part of this relationship as he is. Tell him how awesome he is and how hanging out with him makes you ignore everyone else who wants to date you because you only feel like dating him! See what he says!

Post # 5
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@sweetgirl1234:  My older sister once advised me never to put all my eggs in one man’s basket until we’ve made our relationship clearly defined. But in your case it really sounds like you guys are headed to exclusivity if not already there. Talk to him…it seems awkward but I’ve been in a situation like yours before only to find out after a whole year he hadn’t been exclusive with me! Not to scare you, but rather talk about it now and set the stage for good communication, than skirt around the issue.

Post # 6
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee

Don’t assume anything.  You need to hear him say the words before you can consider yourselves anything.

Post # 7
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@sweetgirl1234:  at two weeks i wouldn’t worry about it. Maybe in a few more if it hasnt come up naturally then bring it up?

 

Post # 8
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

@Sunflower–girl:  Agreed – have the talk before jumping to any conclusions, you’ll be happy you did.

I’ve found out the hard way that you can’t assume anything >_<

Post # 9
Member
2133 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

@Sunflower–girl:  +1 

OP-My SO asked me if we could be exclusive and that is when he became my boyfriend.

Post # 10
Member
6207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@sillysillybee:  I think this is a great approach, it lets him know your intentions but without putting the pressure on

Post # 11
Member
4574 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@sweetgirl1234:  sounds like he is “exclusive” for you and maybe you just want to know if you are “exclusive” to him, so I would wait a little while more before you have the “the talk”…sounds a lot like when I first started dating my DH…he eventually “asked” me to his girlfriend and that’s when it became exclusive.  GL and he sounds wonderful

Post # 12
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I would just be up front with him and say something like “I don’t know what you want out of this relationship but until it’s actually made known that we are exclusive I’m considering us just simply dating.”

Post # 13
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I was “seeing” SO for 3 weeks before we made it official, but we were friends for 1.5 years before that. It was a little easier for me to talk about the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. I was also in your shoes with other people talking to me. I decided that I wouldn’t do anything with anyone else because I saw it as the “start” to a relationship. If I slept with someone else even though we weren’t exclusive, it would have hurt him.

I’d wait a few more weeks and maybe say a couple suggestive things to him. I honestly don’t think it would hurt to ask him what he considers you? Maybe ask “what would you think of me being your girlfriend?”

Post # 15
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@sweetgirl1234:  I was in a relationship for 8 yrs prior. I’m 28 now. I didn’t know how to just date someone. I was so use to being in a relationship. So when I met my now FI, I did the opposite. I didn’t take it so seriously, I didn’t read into things and took it a day at a time because I didn’t want to get hurt. I really liked him tho and I’m the type that don’t like to date multiple guys at the same time anyway. We dated for about close to two months. My ex kept texting me at the time and my FI said, “tell him you have a BF!” He was pissed of course. But then I turned to him and said, ” I don’t remember you asking me to be your GF.”  Lol. From that point on we were official. Although it seemed we were official before that, according to him. Lol. 

 

So you never know when he’ll just turn to you and ask you to be his gf. I would just wait a bit longer. He seems as if he’s really into you. The right time will come, no need to rush it. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Lake Taghkanic State Park

If it seems like you’re exclusive, or if you want to be exclusive with him, I think it’s smart not to lead on any other guys. If I were in your situation and anyone asked I would probably just say I was “seeing someone” but I wouldn’t call him your “boyfriend” until you’ve had the talk.

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