Post # 1
A friend of mine has moved to a new city and is interested in joining a dating website since she doesn’t have any ways (mutual friends really) to meet guys at the time. We come from a small town where not really anybody that either of us know have done this.
Any advice? What website did you and your SO use? Why do you like that one? What made you try out dating websites? Any websites you would stay away from?
Post # 3
I met my FH on Plentyoffish.com. I tried EHarmony and Match but I like POF better because I could put in what I was looking for. I didn’t like eharmony and match b/c I never felt like I was matched with what i wanted. I went on a few dates with guys from POF and I liked most of them, FH and I just hit it off right away . Pros to me: you put in your paramaters and they send matches and you can do searches for what you are looking for and it’s free 🙂 Cons: it’s free so you have to weed out some wierdos,
Post # 4
I am a huge, huge fan of E-Harmony. My very first match ended up being my DH. I know I was lucky and it’s very unusual to find someone that quickly.
But I think the reason it works is because of the extensive profile questions and personality quizzes. Note — it only works if you take time and answer the questions honestly and sincerely. DH and I compared notes later and we both took a lot of care when we answered the questions.
DH and I were meant to be — after we started dating we found out that our paths had nearly crossed a number of times over the years — we knew some of the same people, we had attended some of the same parties and events — it just took E-harmony to finally bring us together.
I am not as much a fan of Match and some of the other sites because people tend to choose each other based on their photos and a few blurbs that they wrote about themselves. I think E-harmony is more scientific.
Post # 5
I met FI on POF, like the PP said, it’s free so you have to be very careful and selective but if you are patient, it can really pay off.
Post # 6
I met my SO on Eharmony….but I’d been off and on that site for years and this was the first time I hit the jackpot. I always felt like I had quality matches, and I did have some great dates, but there were not sparks until my SO. My main beef with EH was 1) the cost, and 2) they wouldn’t let me put in my preferences for certain things: like age or height. As a 6’0 woman, I was getting matched with guys up to 7 inches shorter than me. I dated shorter guys for sure, but 7 inches? 😉
I hated POF, personally, I got nothing but weirdos emailing me on there! My friend swears by OK Cupid. I also liked Chemistry.com.
Post # 7
I met my husband on Match. I liked being able to search. I hated EHarmony because you had no option to search for what you were looking for. I did the whole questionnaire and spent lots of time doing so, but the matches they kept sending me were none that I could ever see myself dating. I’m a 5’10 liberal and they kept matching me with 5’5 super conservatives, to start! All the guys I met were very nice, but just not for me AT ALL (different ideals, views on relationships, etc). I dunno where I went wrong!
Any of the sites are good if you take the time to be serious about them though. We met on Match, a good friend and her husband met on Eharmony, and I know two engaged couples that met on okcupid. Just tell her not to get discouraged by the weirdos (they’re on ALL of the sites)!
Post # 8
Check to see if there’s any locally focused “singles social groups” rather than the traditional dating websites. I never had much luck with the traditional dating websites and while I do have one close friend who met her awesome SO on match.com, I’ve got far more horror stories (including one fella who a girl pal thought was “the one” till he announced in front of a room full of her friends that the reason he wasn’t drinking at that particular social event was because he had “another match.com date” that same night), so I might be jaded.
In DC we have a couple of sites, Professionals in the City and the International Club of DC being just two; these sites arrange activities (ranging from wine tastings to speed dating to dinner cruises to baseball game outings to trips to Europe) and invite all their members. You pay for your event but no fee for the service. I like this approach a lot better because it lets you meet and mingle in person, without a lot of the shady stuff that you hear of on dating sites, and without having to give away too much personal information. Plus you get to meet new friends, not just romance, and do some stuff in your city that you might not otherwise do.
Also sign up for Living Social, which is kind of like Groupon but is evolving into a different animal; they have an actual building in some cities and do a lot of evening events like beer tastings, learn to make chocolate candies, art classes, etc, these are all small group events and a good way to meet new folks.
Post # 9
Wow! Thanks everyone! I can’t wait to pass this information on. I’m so glad some of these sites and groups worked for so many of you or your friends and family! I think it is wonderful!
@fishbone: I have never head of groups like these .. She would love to do this too!
Post # 10
We met on OKCupid! There are TONS of creepers on that site (well, just about any dating site), so you have to be patient, be serious about it, and really treat it almost like a job! I met my FI after about 6 months on there.
Post # 11
Another one who’s been around the block on this topic. After my Divorce I checked out some of these on-line Dating Websites, and found that they had a very high percentage of “wierdo” guys using them… be it certified nut-bars, guys other gals had tossed away for good reason, or a lot of pick-up artists (married men) looking for a bit of fun on the side. Ick !!
I know there are some girls / women who have lucked out with these Websites, but the effort of sorting thru the pile is worse than doing laundry… just too many “dirty” bits if you ask me !!
Also, an ongoing pattern I’ve seen, is that sometimes one of the two-some can’t quit looking at these Dating Website, so even when they are dating (or they find themselves in a rough bit of a relationship) sure enough they may have their Profile up and active again. Not a good thing. Think there is a bit more “staying power” when temptation isn’t found on your computer at 2 AM when your “partner” has gone to bed without you.
So I agree with @fishbone: , at least for me I needed to find a match one-on-one in the real world… and skip all the drama. If one is new to a city, then joining a social group (Wine Clubs, Foodie Clubs, Book Clubs, Classic Film Groups, Trivia Teams, Theatre Lovers, Sports or Community Volunteers, Church Groups etc) is a great way to meet like minded people without a lot of “pressure” to date / go home with them etc. And as they are mixed groups, chances are good that one will also make some new friends in the meantime while Mr Right is “floating around” in the world looking for your friend “Miss Right”
I met Mr TTR when I was least expecting it… hanging out with some friends taking in a social activity… he was a friend of a gal in our group… so in a way we had someone in the middle to “bridge the gap” in the early days of getting to know one another (not a lot of awkwardness or pressure)… made things a lot easier… in that we just met for the social activity regularly, and ended up finding out we had tons in common. So we were good friends before anything else.
Post # 12
My BF and I met on match.com. We’ve been dating and living together for 5 years. It’s been great! We’re already married in our hearts and I’m sure probably one day next year we’ll make it legal and “official”. 🙂
I was single for 2 years before we started dating. I had girlfriends that tried to set me up with guys they knew…it was always awkward for me. I’m sure my friends meant well, but their idea of the kind of man I was looking for…wasn’t exactly what I wanted.
I liked the idea of going online because it was sort of like window shopping! (JK) I emailed him first, we talked online for about a week via IM and email, and progressed to talking on the phone (I blocked my number for the first handful of calls). Finally, we agreed to meet in a public place, and the date went amazing! We went out 3 times in the same week and have been together ever since. 🙂
Post # 13
eHarmony all the way! That is where I met my Mr eHarmony <3 I was on Match before, and it wasn’t bad, but it was just a glorified version of POF…and so many of the same guys were on Match, POF, Zoosk, that silly cupid one etc etc. What I loved most about eHarmony was that I didn’t get ot pick my match. They picked him for me, and I got to choose who I liked from that list. Also, we were forced to talk on their site before we even got to email each other. We’ve been together almost a year now, and I am so so so happy. We have so much in common, we’re best friends and he’s just amazing.
Post # 14
gk2gk.com. Great guys if your a nerdy girl