Post # 1
I have a daughter from a previous relationship. She will be 4 at the time of the wedding, and everyone keeps telling me to put her as a flower girl. But I have three neices and I would like them to be flower girls. I want my daughter to feel special, and if I was only doing 1 flower girl, maybe. But becuase I would like my family involved I just don’t know what to do. My fiance and my daughter get along great, and he is planning on giving her a necklace/ring at the wedding. I just don’t know what to list her as, or what she could do to feel special. Any ideas or suggestions??
Post # 3
@Desireeg: Really the only thing I can think of is having her be the only flower girl or Jr. Bride.
Jr.Brides kind of creep me out though…
I think she’s a little young for a Jr. Bridesmaid…
So depending on who is walking you down the aisle, she could walk with you, and stand up there beside of you. You could do a part where he vows to be a good step father and then have him give her his token and she could go sit down. 🙂
I’ve seen lots of ceremonies that incorporate the children into the ceremony, usually that’s how it goes.
Post # 4
@Desireeg: I need help understanding why you are priorizing your nieces as flower girls rather than your daughter. It seems like the perfect role for her to me. Have you already asked the nieces?
Post # 5
@Desireeg: have you considered having your daughter walk down with you and stand right beside you and be apart of the ceremony? i think that would be very special to include her in the ceremony. this will be a union of 3 afterall.
Post # 6
You might want to consider making her a “Mini Bride” ** … so that she is more included in the Ceremony with you and your NEW Husband…
As the 3 of you go forward to create a NEW Family
** I don’t Mini Bride is the actual terminology… but the idea is similar… she’d get dressed up, walk down the aisle with or infront of Mommy… and make a vow with you all to be a bigger part of a greater family
Psychologists say including kids in the day, especially if they are little, and their “family” life will be expanding / changing as they know is of far greater importance than most Adults realize.
I’ll see if I can’t find some links for you
Post # 7
@Desireeg: Why are you having neices play such a loving role? Don’t you think your daughter will grow up an wonder why you wanted your neices to be flower girls and gave her a side position?
Maybe do a sand ceremony and let your little girl add in some sand to signify the beginning of a new family. Other than that I am not sure where you should put her because she is too young to read and will probably sturggle to stand throughout the entire ceremony.
Or could you Maybe carry her down the aisle?
Post # 8
To @mypinkshoes: Lol, you and I were Drafting at the same time… great MOMS think alike !!
Post # 9
@julies1949: +1 I would think she’d feel rather hurt by not being able to wear a pretty dress and throw petals like her cousins.
Can she walk with you down the aisle or stand with you?
Post # 10
@julies1949: I find flower girls ridiculous. The only reason I am even having them is because my sister asked who they would be. So I knew she was pushing. She said she would cover their expenses so i said GREAT. They can do it. They aren’t throwing flowers, I hate that. They are just walking with little bouquets.
I have seen some friends have their kids be flower girls and to me it seemed tacky. IDK. I just feel there is a better role for her, then just a flower girl. They honestly do nothing….but walk. They won’t even stand up there with me. If they even walk down!! 🙂
Post # 11
@This Time Round: I honestly thought about a mini bride, but how do you list that. Mommy’s mini bride? Awkward! Chris (the finace) wants to make a vow to her. And then give her the necklace. I just want her to feel special!
Post # 12
Since she is 4, I’d make her your one and only flowergirl. Others would understand.
My daughter is 11 (will be shy of 12) she is going to be a regular bridesmaid, not JR. I only have her and my MOH.
Post # 13
@megz06: Ohhh i already bought her a gorgeous dress. Granted she doesn’t like it because it isn’t Purple…that’s just a little girl thing right??!
The idea I had was to have her walk, right before I do, and Chris would meet her half way, and walk her the rest of the way up. And they would stand there waiting for me. I could call her a flower girl, or even my “maid of honor” or something, but IDK. I just want her to feel special. But not so special that she rubs it into our future children’s faces! Cuz kids don’t do that!:)
Post # 14
Hi @Desireeg: Here is a link to a GOOGLE SEARCH I did on your behalf for – Wedding Cremony with Children Vows
There are several websites listed… I checked out the first one for Offbeat Bride, they had some nice examples
But the other ones have more info as well.
The thing is you can write it / customize it as you wish.
I have also seen in my Post Divorce Travels many many Self Help Books that are aimed at Remarriages with Kids… so a trip to a Bookstore might also be worthwhile.
Hope this helps,
Post # 15
When my dad and stepmom got married, they included me in the ceremony and vows and stuff! They didn’t “call” me anything, but I don’t think they had programs? I don’t remember, but I don’t think I had any sort of title. You could just put: Bride, Groom, Daughter, or something, or even just your names!
I had a little bouquet and in the ceremony the officiant asked me if I would accept my stepmom as a part of our family, It was precious!
Post # 16
@Desireeg: I have two children from previous relationships, my daughter is 6 and my son is 3. We want to include them during the day too, so they know this marriage is about them, as well as fiancé and me. So they are going to lead me down the aisle, but they won’t stand with me at the front because they are easily bored and little legs can tire quickly lol. We’re going to say a special speech at the reception just for them, and after the first dance we are planning on doing a family dance, where I will dance with my son and Ash (fiancé) will dance with my daughter. If they were older I would ask them to do a reading or something (church wedding) but they’re not quite ready for that yet lol