David Tutera seperates his kids…..? thoughts

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@nonapkns:  never a supporter of separating young siblings, especially TWINS. Yuck.

Post # 4
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@nonapkns:  

 

David Tutera and his husband and this ridiculous public spat they are having remind me of the bitchy gay couples I know that make me want to exit the room immediately.

So…let me get this straight… you want kids SO BADLY, you split up two infants that were born together?   That is beyond fucked up.  Kids aren’t pawns or accessories you silly dickheads.

 

Narcissists and kids don’t mix.

 

Post # 5
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

WHO splits the kids? What court of law is allowing this???

Post # 6
Member
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

Eagerly awating the real-life Parent Trap shenanigans.

Post # 8
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Well, apparently the girl is biologically David’s and the boy is biologically his partners. So, they are def more fraternal than identical. I think it’s a crappy idea, but at least they are trying to work something out for the kids. The twins aren’t born yet, so maybe they will work something else out by then.

Post # 10
Member
1358 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

At first I was like ?!?!? But these kids will never have grown up together – they separated before they were even born. And they’re actually half siblings, not real twins. So … no sadder than your usual divorce, I don’t think.

Post # 11
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

They have been born (saw pics on people.com) 

This is pretty crazy though! The only thing that makes it at all “understandable” is that one is biologically Tutera’s son and the other his ex-husband’s  – it’s not that each child shares all the same genetic material.  So they are not really what we think of as fraternal twins.

I think right now it seems insane, but hopefully they will spend time together in the future.  I guess if you think about it half siblings often don’t grow up together, and their lives might be happier if they are not spending half time with each parent.  I think it would be 100% not okay if the children were older, but starting from infancy it might not have as terrible as an effect as it seems.  Hopefully their parents will raise them less selfishly than they were when they decided to have children via surrogate when their relationship was on the rocks.

Post # 12
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I love how he says they decided to pursue having children because they hoped it would help fix the inherent problems in their relationship – Stupidest thing I have ever heard.  EVERYONE knows, even those of us without kids, that adding children to the mix only or primarily because you’re hoping it will bring you two closer together is the #1 most awful (not to mention selfish) reason to have children.  Of course, the media could have butchered his words and made it sound like something different than what he really said or meant, but reading that just beyond bugged me.

 

Regardless of that, separating the kids is also SO selfish.  You entered into a partnership with this person and things didn’t work out – Sorry, but shit happens.  There’s no reason why other people, especially your kids, should have to suffer because your relationship fell apart.  When you have kids, you are no longer the priority.  They are.  Period.

 

Post # 13
Member
2174 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@MmeVT:  My thoughts exactly.  While they shared wombspace, they are no more genetically twins than my husband and his half sister.  It is unfortunate that he and his former partner can’t find a middle ground where the children are together, but their genetics doesn’t play into the equation for me.

Post # 14
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@nonapkns:  UGH NO. I am a mommy of twins and I would never ever try to seperate them, or any children for that matter. I don’t think it really matters whose child is whose biologically speaking – both men agreed to assume the role of a father to each ‘twin’ and I think they should stick to that. I understand that things change and it will be hard but when you make the decision to bring a child into the world (and raise it) you agree that you’ll always be there to the absolute best of your abilities. Abandoning your kid when it’s barely out of the womb and ripping a pair of twins apart from each other really doesn’t seem like the best way to start parenthood. I hope they reconsider.  

Post # 15
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@moonadea:  I don’t know…you could argue fraternal twins then also aren’t twins at all…just regular siblings.  I think the act of sharing the womb does create a bond.  And if fraternal twins are called twins, not siblings, then wouldn’t these babies fall in the same category?

Either way I think it’s completely messed up.  And why you publically admit you decided to have kids to save your relationship.  Like it’s some sort of secret that doing so NEVER works!  He just made himself sound even worse.

Post # 16
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@skippydarling:  Ok, I just read the article. It’s just temporary. I’m sure the court won’t allow this permanently but I feel really bad for the children bc obviously they don’t see themselves as parents of BOTH kids. “My daughter / his son.” Sick. Ugh.

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