Day after the wedding dilemma

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Hostess
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MoopersMom:  Wow!!!! Ummmin my mind there is no way that a husband should go out with his boys or family and leave his wife behind that day after their wedding. Actually I feel like a full day to yourselves would be better. Honestly what is his thinking? I don’t understand his logic. Isn’t the day before the wedding good enough?

Post # 4
Member
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@MoopersMom:  I’m sorry 🙁 maybe he doesn’t realize he’s being rude or hurtful. It does seem weird that he wasn’t to be up at the crack of dawn after the wedding to fish instead of spending some time together. Just calmly explain to him why and ask him again to go momdsh, I think you have the right idea with that. He can still see his family and fish just not run off first thing on you first day being married.

Post # 5
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@MoopersMom:  I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. Perhaps a compromise? Could you suggest he go fishing in the afternoon instead?

Post # 6
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MoopersMom:  I would also be upset.  I think you need to be able to talk about this like adults together. 

My fiance initially wanted to stay up the whole night of the wedding out with friends, whereas I wanted to compromise and head in around 1am because I know myself and get exhausted.  He initially did not understand why we should maybe try to go to bed together our first night as man and wife.  Sometimes guys just don’t think things through all the way.

I’d let him cool down, but I think you’re being more than reasonable, especially since he will have already gone fishing once that weekend.

Post # 7
Member
3737 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MoopersMom:  I can see how you’re feeling frustrated. That being said, my husband got up the morning after our wedding and went straight to work. I went and had breakfast in the hotel lobby with some of our guests then went and cleaned up the reception hall. We made up for not spending the day together later that night 😉 Try to cut him some slack. 

Post # 8
Member
1634 posts
Bumble bee

@MoopersMom:  I’d be really upset that he doesnt want to spend the day together with you AND his family. If the people he wants to spend time with on that specific trip are leaving Monday and are unable to go fishing with him on the Friday, I could MAYBE understand, but I would try to get him to go in the afternoon at least so you dont have get up at 6 am or wake up ALONE the next day. That would feel terrible! Is there no other day he can do it? Why is he against going on the monday, and why did he get SO upset about you saying no that he hung up? I dont think Fi has ever been mad enough to hang up on me and we’ve had some pretty big knock-em-down-drag-em-out fights before.

Post # 10
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@MoopersMom:  Well…..and correct me if I’m wrong on this one….but fishing is only good in the early morning, right?  So what if, you booked another night in the hotel, your husband gets up, goes fishing, does all that…and you treat yourself to a day in a local spa, maybe a luncheon with your new family and the two of you meet up for a romantic dinner and another night in?

Post # 11
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@MoopersMom:  I would be hurt too. I think your feelings are valid. Hope you can come to a compromise!

Post # 12
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

First of all, this sounds like something my FI would say, without really thinking about how it may affect me. I understand where both of you are coming from. FI’s family all lives in Boston, and we are in California, so obviously he never sees them. We have compromised that we can spend Sunday with his family and do whatever he wants, but it has to be something that we can do together.I think that you should both compromise on this one.

 

Post # 13
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MoopersMom:  As someone who is married to a a mighty fisherman, we did actually discuss this before the wedding, lol. I can see where you would be hurt, but I think a compromise would help. It doesn’t sound like he gets to see his dad and brother all that often honestly. I would go with @Nona99 suggestion as that sounds like a great idea 🙂

Post # 14
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@MoopersMom:  I wouldn’t be okay with that at all. He’s fishing Friday anyway. Actually, I wouldn’t be okay with playing hostess to his family the week of the wedding either and I would definitely get a hotetheir the wedding night. I would be okay with spending brunch with the family sometime on Sunday, but I would want some quality alone time with my new husband too. He’s being unreasonable. 

Post # 15
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

There’s no reason your husband should leave you the day after your wedding! Talk to him and get him to come to an agreement with you (hopefully at least that you can all do an activity everyone enjoys, if privacy for the two of you is impossible) and once you’re unified, talk to his buddies together. Maybe they’re the ones pressuring him into it?

Post # 16
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I don’t think I’d be very happy – not your first day as husband and wife. He needs to go on Friday AND Sunday? 

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