Day after wedding present opening

posted 3 years ago in Traditions
Post # 3
Hostess
4941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@acfulhorst:  I can see both sides of this for sure. The biggest thing to me is that you and your FI are now going to be a whole new family, why not make your own traditions?! I get that your family feels that this is super important, but I would express to them that it’s not something that makes either of you comfortable because you don’t want your guests to feel inferior to another guest. Your family loves you, they’ll understand that these are your wishes as a couple and a family all your own. 

Could you maybe meet in the middle and just do a day after gift opening with your family and not his? And better yet, is this what YOU want? We’re not talking about your family. If it’s something that you, as a soon to be married woman, don’t want. Then it shouldn’t happen.  

Post # 4
Member
3223 posts
Sugar bee

@acfulhorst:  I think it is awkward and uncomfortable.  I personally think this type of party isn’t in great taste.  What anyone choses to gift you is private.  I wouldn’t feel good advertising it.

But have a party if you like, it would allow you to spend more time with people, but I’d skip the gifts part. 

Post # 5
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you don’t want to, tell your family that.  Don’t tell them your fiance or his family doesn’t want it.

 

Personally nothing wrong with opening presents in front of people, that what happens at most showers.  No one should be offended.

Post # 7
Hostess
4941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@acfulhorst:  Then I would be upfront and tell them that you respect the tradition, but you and your fiance do not wish to partake. It’s your chance to make your guys’ own traditions. You don’t have to follow any family ones that you don’t want to or feel comfortable doing. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
7084 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would just invite immediate family. Do you really think you’ll get that many physical gifts? Usually people bring cash anyway.

Post # 10
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@acfulhorst:  FBIL’s wife’s family tried to plan something like this, and i thought it was absolutely the strangest thing i’d ever heard. i am so looking forward to opening all our wedding gifts in the quiet and comfort of our home and not in front of a bunch of people!

Post # 11
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think these parties are in really poor taste.  In my family we have a day after brunch, but no gifts are involved. 

Post # 12
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Maybe you could just do it with your side of the family?  I think you are old enough to show gratitude even if you don’t like a gift or if you get a cheap gift, at least they got you something. In my opinion it would only be awkward if you (or your FI) make it so.

Maybe you could do it at an engagement party or bridal shower?  The principle would be the same, enjoying your family’s company whilst opening gifts and showing gratitiude.  However, if your FI doesn’t feel comfortable with it I don’t think its a good idea to force him into it. 

I would maybe explain it a little better to his family, but understand if they do not want to take part but I think if you explain that its just a time to be together and enjoy eachother’s company, that maybe they wouldn’t think negatively of it.

Post # 15
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@acfulhorst:  Aww I understand the problem.  Can you take into account an alternative?  Do it after a bridal shower perhaps and that way it would just be you and your family and your Grandma could still take part and you’d still be following tradition just altering it a little.  Or have a bridal shower with all your family members (including men etc) as that way you could still open gifts with your Grandma and all your family (without putting your FI in an awkward position).

Another option could be them going over to your house after an engagement party (they would give you some of your weddings gifts or just general engagement party gifts) and you could talk to your FI to meet you half way, not do it the day after your wedding but to do it on that day and maybe even some of his family members could join in (they might if they see that you are making a compromise for them just out of courtesy).

I’m not sure if I’m helping :/  I just hope you find some kind of compromise and are able to keep everyone happy 🙂 . 

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