Deadbeat dad.

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

jdstephens:  Reply back that he will be missed.

Dont beg him to attend, don’t give in to his tantrum, don’t lash out.  This reply let’s him know it’s his loss as well as yours while also respecting his decision and not defending yours. 

Post # 3
2060 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1987

Zhabeega’s advice is very good.  

Send him the message and then look forward to the future.  



Post # 4
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m sorry to hear that your Dad had that reaction.  My father was/is an abusive parent who has let me down all my life.  He’s selfish and acts like a child if he doesn’t get his way (sound familiar?).  I got so sick of his BS that I cut off contact with him a number of years ago.  My life has improved and I am happier without him in my life. I thought that I was ok with not having a Dad, and I had accepted it.

Then I got engaged and started to plan my July 5th wedding.  I started to think about not having a Dad at my wedding.  I feel sad about missing out on that father-daughter realtionship that it seems others have.  It’s hard.  I wish my Dad was different and that he cared about me not just himself.  He could change but I could also win the lottery tommorow.  That doesn’t mean I’m going to quit my job and wait for it to happen. I guess what I’m trying to say is your not the only one in this situation.  Just google “Mom/Dad not coming to wedding”.  I think if you decide that you want to continue to have contact (even limited) that you can’t have any expectations.  If you expect/want him to do/react in a certain way you’ll be disappointed.  IMO you were being generous even iniviting him.  I’m sorry. You deserve better!


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