Dealing with a person from my past who is hard to ignore. {Long, sorry!!}

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Do nothing, ignore his blog and leave it all be. You have said your goodbyes enough now it’s time to stick to it. I’d be ticked if I were your FI, you knew he was upset with you reaching out the second to last time but you did it again. If you have hopes of your FI trusting you than I’d stop all contact with S

Post # 4
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@whitemochi622:  Just ignore the blogging. If your friends bring it up just say something like “sorry but I don’t have  time for immature passive aggression and I don’t want to talk about it.” He’s a loser, plain and simple – no job, venting online like a high school kid, etc. I don’t really understand why you care so much about what he thinks and is saying to you. Just cut him out of your life, you don’t owe him anything, and stop talking to him.

Post # 5
Member
1197 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

what kind of a grown man does this?!?!  ignore him, don’t text him and don’t read his blog.   the less you focus on it, the quicker it’ll blow over.  focus on your wedding – that will send the right message to your friends regarding your and E’s relationship if you’re worried about that.  I’d also feign oblivion anytime someone asks you about what’s going on with S.  

Post # 7
Member
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

id just ignore the blog and the guy and move on with my life. i think you know that reaching out to him again was a mistake and i think its honestly time to let things stay the way they are

dont be frustrated, dont spend a second more thinking about it – just put it out of your mind! angsty blogs is such teenage stuff to be honest i wouldnt pay attention. its time to focus on your Fi and your relationship rather than the past

Post # 8
Member
1951 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@whitemochi622:  it sounds like you already know what you need to do. STOP TALKING TO HIM. Stop emailing, texting, facebook messaging. It seems like he leaves or goes MIA, you feel guilty, reach out to him, and then he posts whatever you say/do on his blog. So there’s an easy link to break. You need to stop interacting with him. He’s immature and attention-starved, hence the very public venting of everything that’s going on in his life. Since you run in the same circle, you need to protect yourself and your FI by cutting off contact and not falling into his “traps” to pull you back in.

Post # 9
Member
3960 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@whitemochi622:   Distance yourself from S.    Move on with your healthy, happy life.   Interacting with him in any form will prolong his drama – remove the audience or let him find another.  

I knew a man exactly like this years ago – to a “T”  –  in my case he not only found a new audience but was already grooming her while dumping his troubles on me.   

Post # 10
Member
502 posts
Busy bee

You keep dragging him back into it as much as he keeps dragging you. You keep texting him and messaging him. Repeatedly. If I were E, I would think you were not over S at all, and if I were S, I would feel like you were playing games with me, especially with your history together.

Just cut him out. Stop messaging. Stop talking. STOP READING HIS BLOG. He knows you read it so it is just like talking or messaging each other. This all seems very teenager-y. 

Post # 11
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@whitemochi622:  stop reading his blog. You guys clearly can’t be friends. And you can’t control his feelings no matter what you do or say – he is entitled to feel however he wants, even if you think it’s unfair.

Post # 12
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@whitemochi622:  Girl! I had a male friend like this: emotionally unstable. Just angry you did not chase him like he wanted you to. Angry you did not give in to him.

Leave.Him.Alone.

Do not justify him anymore. Do not text him. He wants you back in his life to satisfy his emotional turmoil.

Stop caring about what he thinks. Stop caring that he exists. Ignore him for now on.

The ONLY man you need to concern yourself with is your FI.

I’ve been there.

Post # 14
Member
1689 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

What a whiney dramatic @$$hole!  He’s a drama queen.  I rarely say this but you’ve done nothing wrong here.  You broke up with your ex for him, and he turned you down.  Then, years later, you tried to be friends again, only to get shot down.  You tried one more time, and then he acted like a jerk once more.

This isn’t a good friend.  This guy is soul sucking.  You cannot constantly cater to his whims especially since he seems to enjoy seeing you suffer over him.  You are worth more than that.  If he “cuts you off,” no loss to you.  I know it stinks now, but believe me, you’ll breath easier once this negativity leaves your life. 

Don’t play into it.  Ignore it.  Maybe one day he’ll grow up and apologize.  More likely, he’ll repeat this pattern with all of your mutual friends and eventually end up alone.  Whatever you do, don’t reach out to him.  Stop giivng him power over your emotions.  

Keep people in your life that are worth your time and effort.  

Again, what a jerk! 

Post # 15
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@whitemochi622:  you haven’t done anything “to him” besides not putting your life on hold and pining for him like he wanted you to. He doesn’t want you (certainly didn’t when he could have you), but he didn’t want you to move on to another guy either and I’m sure he’s built up some kind of betrayal drama in his head since he has no job and nothing else to do. Don’t play these games with him and give him any more attention – I promise that if your current relationship were to fail for some reason, this guy and his drama would be nowhere to be found.  

Post # 16
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@whitemochi622:  I have a situation actually amazingly simmular. Honestly the last time things went down the way they did I cut all ties. I even got a new phone ( not because of him lol my contract ended) but I didn’t let him know what so ever. Sadly, I know I will always care about him but I’m happier with someone else and I’m moved on. 

I think what keeps me going is reminding myself how important my new relationship is. I had previously ended relationships for this guy and he would hurt me, leave and then expect me to be there when he needed me and no matter what I was the “bad friend”. My fiance would never in a million years do the things the other guy had done. And I’m so in love and happy with him. Sometimes I worry about the other guy ( he was extremely suicidal at points in his life where he felt alone) but I try to do my best to not think that way. We also have a mutual best friend who sometimes needs to talk about him. 

I think the only way to know what to do is look deep with in yourself. If you pray, pray. Think about how you feel, your future and yourself. One of my main problems was I put him before myself so many times. Which isn’t a bad thing but I wasn’t happy and when it comes to decisions like this you need to think about yourself! 

If you need to talk feel free to message me! I promise I won’t find it weird or creepy!

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