- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
So we had quite a few people who RSVP’d and even posted on Facebook about how they couldn’t wait to be there on our wedding day, but they never showed–this included one whole table of our family, and that family had the nerve to post pics on hubby’s Facebook page of where they were on the day of our wedding!!!
We felt strongly enough about this to send what we jokingly call ‘eff-you’ cards along with our thank you cards.
The message will go something like this:
“Sorry you couldn’t make our wedding, and we hope that nothing serious happened that prevented you from making it.
We do feel that we have to say this much, though:
We figured out how much money, time, and effort we lost from people who said they were making it then simply did not show up, without even saying they couldn’t make it, and it was [our cost/time, etc.]. We both feel very strongly about this, and we don’t care about getting a gift, but we did want the gift of your presence at our wedding.
We had whole tables not show up, including your table. Had we had enough notice from you that you wouldn’t be able to show, we could have invited people who really wanted to be there, but could not invite because we wanted you there. I could have invited my [relative/friend]. We even fought over who to invite or not invite. Making a guest list for our wedding was one of the hardest things to do, because we want to invite everyone we care about, but we just simply couldn’t afford to.
We’re not trying to give you a guilt trip or get an apology from you–all we want from you is to realize what we’re saying here, and keep this in mind for the next time anyone invites you to a big occasion.
Thanks for hearing us out.
We don’t think this is rude, because of how rude we feel our flaky guests were–we had guests sitting by themselves at empty tables, and we busted our behinds on a largely DIY wedding to make sure our guests had a great time (we got lots of good comments on how beautiful and how much fun the wedding was). People should at least know what effect they may be having on others when they flake on a big occasion, like a wedding or family reunion or something.
“A gift of the Heart is more expensive than any material gift One can give.”