Post # 1
I love my husband but his parents are very difficult people. I really fundamentally do not like them. (And I am not the type of person who has problems getting along with others) His father is negative and angry. His mother is manipulative, catty and likes to play victim. Hubby sometimes sees through their behavoir (especially when his mother gets super crazy….which has happened) but often sees nothing wrong with what they do.
Anyway, I promised that I would spend Christmas with them and I suppose that I am bound to do so. I’m just not sure how to best cope with the situation. I am dreading my christmas and, really, don’t even want to be in the same room as his mother. Thoughts?
Post # 3
I know how you feel – the only thing you can do it muster through it for the sake of Darling Husband.
Set your personal boundaries – ie: if you are getting personally attacked, then step away.
Are there any other people that will be there? Or is it just DH’s parents? Hopefully, there will be others that you can focus on (instead of the crazies!)
Post # 4
@oracle: SIL (who married into the family and who feels the EXACT same way as I do) will be there for part of it, but she will jump shimp to be with her family for the other part of it. Lucky girl. lol.
I just hope that Mother-In-Law doesn’t again bring up everything that she thinks went wrong at our wedding and continue to compare our wedding with her friends weddings which were “actually nice”
Post # 5
@carolsdaughter: have a game plan if Mother-In-Law gets crazy… ie: if she starts ranting about the wedding – say something like: I’m sorry you feel that way. I really enjoyed our wedding. And change the subject if you can.
The other thing (which may or may not be helpful) if they can’t behave, then no promising Christmas next year.
BUT – I do find the family events I most dread are always worse in my mind than the actual event!
Post # 6
I feel your pain! Probably nowhere near your level, but fiance’s family are very difficult to get along with – always sniping, criticising, lecturing…they still think fiance is a child, and they aren’t subtle about treating him like one.
I’m spending my first Christmas with them this year, and dreading it! I second what @oracle said; have a plan for the most likely things that will happen and how you will respond. It might make it easier to deal with if you know what you’re going to do or say. For example, if Mother-In-Law starts making comments on the wedding, say “I though it was great! But then, I’d be happy getting married in the grottiest public toilet if I got to marry [husband]. That was the important part of the day.”
Is there any way you can limit the time you spend there? If there’s a definite end in sight, and they know you’re going to leave at a specific time, it might be easier on you?
Post # 7
@LadyElva: love your public toliet response!! 🙂 🙂