Dealing with input from family members..

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@plumplant:  I wouldn’t talk to her about this for a while and just go ahead with your planning. You decide who to invite, those invited get to decide if they want to come. End of story. If she presses you for details or presents more options, just be vague “We’re very excited about the special day we have planned,” and change the subject. 

I do think when the dust settles and your wedding day arrives, you’re mom will feel glad she got to witness it. You can share photos with others and soon, everyone will forget this was ever a problem. 

Post # 4
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Definitely not selfish not to want to invite people who are not terribly important to your life!

We also didn’t invite any aunts/uncles. When one of my aunts threw a FIT and DEMANDED that my father tell me to invite her, he laughed at her and said “BNB’s old enough to get married. I can’t tell her who to invite to her wedding.”

Post # 5
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

You’re supposed to be selfish, it’s your wedding!

It’s hard to deal with meddling parents but you have to stay strong. By caving on the aunt and uncle that opened the door wide open for whomever else your mom wanted to invite. Don’t worry about if she gets it or not, just be nice but firm on anything else she requests. For example:

Mom: You should really invite your cousin.

You: I’m sorry mom, we’re not having anyone else. This is a final decision.

Mom: But her feelings will be hurt.

You: I’m sorry, we’re not inviting anyone else.

Mom: How can you leave her out?

You: I’m sorry, we’re not inviting anyone else.

When she realizes she’s not going to get anywhere with the topic she will be forced to move on. Stay strong! 

Post # 6
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@plumplant:  She’s not going to like you tiny wedding anyhow, so why not elope?  The only variable there is if your fiance wants his family there.

Post # 7
3653 posts
Sugar bee

@plumplant:  Call your aunt immediately and tell her that she’s not invited. When she finds out how small it is, she should understand. We’re not inviting an uncle/aunt (and cousins) set, on each side of our families, because we never see or talk to them. (Think 2 times in 10 years). If you mother wants to host/pay for a gathering afterward, she can invite who she wants to.

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