Dealing with questions during the holidays

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m in this boat too. What I would  say if I were in your shoes is “hopefully soon” or “heck, we just got married in May, give us until the first anniversary at least!”. What I say to my families are: “I would have a baby, but I love wine too much”. I believe in avoiding the questions as much as possible.

Post # 3
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I posted on another thread, but my go to line will be this year “We will have one when God is willing to give us one.”  This will work on my religious family.  For friends I might mention my recent acceptance to grad school and waiting a bit. 

 

Post # 4
Member
9533 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Honestly, they’re being rude by asking such a personal question, so I wouldn’t feel too bad being rude back. Have you considered just telling people that you’re trying? I guess it comes down to dealing with questions about when you’re going to get pregnant to people asking how trying is going. But people might be nicer about it if they knew you were trying. 

if you don’t want to tell people, I’d shrug it off and change the subject. Disarm and redirect:

“So when are you guys going to have a baby?” 

“I don’t know yet, still enjoying being newlyweds – did we tell you about the honeymoon? It was amazing…”

Or

“Are we going to be hearing the pitter-patter of little feet anytime soon?”

“We’ll see. But that would mean I’d have to give up wine. Did you try that Pinot Grigio that Aunt Lois brought?…”

Post # 5
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

mrsbee83:  Since you are actually trying to conceive, one way to diffuse is to say “We’d love to start a family, and be assured, when we have good news, we’ll share it.”

If they keep pressing, you can ask them to stop asking, and then change the subject.

Post # 6
Member
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Pollywog:  Agreed!

 

My family doesn’t ever talk about it, but my husbands large family asks us all the time.  He is one of four boys and even though he is the second youngest, he is the only one who is married.  Until recently, I really wasn’t mentally ready and told them that.  I think that is what I will stick with when I see them this week even though we are trying.  We also made a bucket list and I told everyone about it so I can joke that we haven’t been to New Zealand and Peru and we haven’t bought my husbands truck yet.  Things like that keep the mood light and tend to get them off my back.

Post # 7
Member
1107 posts
Bumble bee

My DH’s cousin is really good at fielding those questions. Her parents always ask “When are you gonna have a grandbaby for me!???” and stuff like that. And she always says, “Whenever you pay off my student loans for me! Sound good? Just let me know when you’re willing to do that and I’ll have a baby in a heatbeat!’ haha

Post # 8
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

After 2 years, I don’t say anything anymore.  I just glare at them while taking a sip of wine.  Usually gets the idea across.

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