Post # 1
How do you deal with all the TTC questions during the holidays without being rude? Every since we got married (actually a little before) both our families have been asking when the babies are coming. We both have very large families who are similar in age to us who got married recently and not one person has made it to their first anniversary without having a baby or being pregnant, most of them have honeymoon babies. I already know both our families are expecting an annoucement soon…but we’ve been TTC for 5 months and nothing yet. DH has got annoyed with the questions from friends and started saying “Well, I’m doing all I can.” I’m not so open about TTC but started to think this may be best so they realize it’s not that easy for everyone to just decide to have a baby and poof you’re pregnant. I know that they all mean well and have no idea what we’re going through, so I don’t want to be rude. But I feel like I need to say something besides “yeah, we’ll see” and then getting upset about it because we do really want one. How do you deal with it?
Post # 2
I’m in this boat too. What I would say if I were in your shoes is “hopefully soon” or “heck, we just got married in May, give us until the first anniversary at least!”. What I say to my families are: “I would have a baby, but I love wine too much”. I believe in avoiding the questions as much as possible.
Post # 3
I posted on another thread, but my go to line will be this year “We will have one when God is willing to give us one.” This will work on my religious family. For friends I might mention my recent acceptance to grad school and waiting a bit.
Post # 4
Honestly, they’re being rude by asking such a personal question, so I wouldn’t feel too bad being rude back. Have you considered just telling people that you’re trying? I guess it comes down to dealing with questions about when you’re going to get pregnant to people asking how trying is going. But people might be nicer about it if they knew you were trying.
if you don’t want to tell people, I’d shrug it off and change the subject. Disarm and redirect:
“So when are you guys going to have a baby?”
“I don’t know yet, still enjoying being newlyweds – did we tell you about the honeymoon? It was amazing…”
“Are we going to be hearing the pitter-patter of little feet anytime soon?”
“We’ll see. But that would mean I’d have to give up wine. Did you try that Pinot Grigio that Aunt Lois brought?…”
Post # 5
mrsbee83: Since you are actually trying to conceive, one way to diffuse is to say “We’d love to start a family, and be assured, when we have good news, we’ll share it.”
If they keep pressing, you can ask them to stop asking, and then change the subject.
Post # 6
My family doesn’t ever talk about it, but my husbands large family asks us all the time. He is one of four boys and even though he is the second youngest, he is the only one who is married. Until recently, I really wasn’t mentally ready and told them that. I think that is what I will stick with when I see them this week even though we are trying. We also made a bucket list and I told everyone about it so I can joke that we haven’t been to New Zealand and Peru and we haven’t bought my husbands truck yet. Things like that keep the mood light and tend to get them off my back.
Post # 7
My DH’s cousin is really good at fielding those questions. Her parents always ask “When are you gonna have a grandbaby for me!???” and stuff like that. And she always says, “Whenever you pay off my student loans for me! Sound good? Just let me know when you’re willing to do that and I’ll have a baby in a heatbeat!’ haha
Post # 8
After 2 years, I don’t say anything anymore. I just glare at them while taking a sip of wine. Usually gets the idea across.