Dealing With Severe Financial Difficulties

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@WeddingBells2014:  Has he applied for welfare (Ontario Works in Ontario – not sure what province you live in). It’s not really hard in Canada to get government help, from what I’ve heard – as a student I got the GST credit and the Ontario Trillium Benefit without even applying, just from filing my taxes, and I’m still getting it as a full time employee because I haven’t filed 2014 taxes yet (not sure if it’ll be clawed back because I’m making good money now).

I think he should go to college or trade school. My brother is an apprenticing heavy duty equipment technician and once he became a registered apprentice he got EI cheques every month during college. I don’t think your FI should apply to college just for the loan. He should apply so he can get a job and make more than $400 a month. Again if you’re in Ontario he would for sure qualify for OSAP and I’m sure other provinces have equally accessible loan programs. Just remember it’s a loan, so he should look into a program with employment prospects so he can pay them back after.

This is going to sound harsh, but: why are you paying for photographers and stuff when you can’t even afford food? It may be time to reassess your priorities. Food should come before a proper wedding. You can get married at city hall and be equally as married as if you had a full wedding. I would put all that on hold until you both have good jobs and can afford extra things in life.

Why can’t you work a part time job on weekends or in the evenings? When I was in university full time I made like $600 a month at my minimum wage part time job. I worked about 16 – 20 hours a week and it was doable. A lot of people with full time jobs work part time on the side for extra money. Is there any way you could do that?

Post # 4
Member
1549 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

What is your housing situation? How is it possible that you only need 800 a month to survive? Is this renting an apartment?

Do you have ANYTHING you can sell? Old things you can sell on ebay, a car, old furniture you don’t need, anything…

I don’t understand why you can’t do ANYTHING to earn extra money…. babysitting, walking dogs, weekends at the grocery store, anything. I worked when i went to school full time and did a parttime internship.

Does your FI have a degree? Does he have skills or knowledge in anything? He needs a better paying job thats better then mcdonalds. What about a package car driver? Home improvement stores pay more sometimes for a non-cashier position, Delivering pizzas, anything. On that situation 40 hours a week is a bare minimum. My DH is working about 60 hours a week at 2 jobs. I’m barely going to see him this month.

If you still don’t bring in enough that month heres your priorities…. in order.

FOOD (basic groceries), UTILITIES (thats electricity and water not cable), HOUSING (pay your rent so they don’t kick you out), and then TRANSPORTATION (gas in the car)

Whatever is left doesn’t get paid. DO NOT pay your credit card but fall behind on your rent or let the lights get turned off. If you miss a month on a credit card its not the end of the world.

Post # 5
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@WeddingBells2014:  You say your photographer deposit is non-refundable. Perhaps if you explain the circumstance to him/her, they will be able to work out a deal with them (e.g. write the deposit out in post-dated cheques for smaller intervals as oppose to one lump sum).

 

Do you have any items to sell? Can you tutor? Can your FI pick up a second job as his current job doesn’t have full time hours?

I also echo everything @SummerOfLove: said, in terms of finding a job yourself. No it isn’t easy to balance work and school (yes I’ve done it), but it is necessary. I would also take a loan from a family member for sheer survival..bus pass and food.

Post # 6
Member
2992 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I second the notion for looking for a part-time job  – maybe on weekends? Does your college have any student worker positions? My one student worker clears about $400 a month just setting up labs for me. $400 is not a lot, but I am sure it helps.I went to college full-time while raising a child and still managed to work two (sometimes three) part-time jobs. In grad school, the work was so demanding that I could not work at all so I worked a full-time AND a part-time job during the summers and rationed my money throughout the year.

As for using your student loan for rent instead of books – try talking to your professors. See if they have an extra textbook they can lend you or an earlier edition of the textbook. I lend out books all the time. If not, see if you can buddy up with someone and share textbooks. Students do it all the time!

If you do not want to borrow money from the family, ask if they can freeze some meals for you. I just froze some chili and pot pie for a friend who is struggling to make ends meet.

I am sorry about you losing the money on the deposit for the photographer. But if finances are in such dire straits, then wedding planning must be pushed aside. I know such financial difficulties are hard to deal with. I lived well below the poverty level for most of my adult life. Yet I always seemed to get by – if only by the skin of my teeth. More than once I was so desperate that if it was not for the generosity of my co-workers supplying us with food, we surely would have starved (my daughter and I). It will not be like this forever!

Post # 8
Member
2255 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@WeddingBells2014:  I looked back through your previous threads and have a question…is the lady he babysits for the same person as the coworker who accused him of stealing $20 from her purlass few weeks back? If this is a separate incident you need to recognize that your fiancé may have an issue with stealing and lying…anyone can have the misfortune to be falsely accused of something once, but it is highly unlikely someone would be falsely accused of the exact same thing 2xs in such a short time span by 2 different people. 

Post # 10
Member
10496 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

Is your FI in school too?  If not, can he not get a better paying job?  There are places hiring the provide transport to the job site and pay very well, and require no education.

Do you not have a campus food bank?  Here there is no income limit for the campus one, it’s just the city ones that work that way.

Post # 11
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

 

 

Post # 13
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@WeddingBells2014:  Try to find some other people to tutor.  Seriously, tutoring is what has gotten me through rough times with money.  It’s not a huge time commitment, either.  What are you going to school for?

Post # 14
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@WeddingBells2014:  

I agree with @SummerOfLove:,  even if your grades drop some, I think its time to find a part-time job.  I worked up to 30 hours a week going to University for a science degree. It was hard, I didn’t get much sleep, but it was doable and necessary.  In summer I found a full-time job Monday to Friday, then kept my part-time jobs for evenings and weekends.

Do you have family around?  Maybe its time to move home for a bit until you get things sorted.  Even a few months could help you out a lot.

Isn’t there any other places your FI could work that could bring in more than $400/month?  Can you get a job placement elsewhere where he could come along and search for a better paying job?

To be honest, I don’t know how you can be planning a wedding in this situation. If you can’t afford food, maybe the wedding needs to take a back burner too?  I know that is not what you want to hear, but it may be the right thing to do. It may be hard, but life is about making choices and timing is sometimes everything.

Post # 16
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

@WeddingBells2014:  *hugs* All I can tell you, and I mean this the nicest way possible, is to delay your wedding. This is what we chose to do because my FI going back to college had put a much higher strain on our budget than we initially thought it would. When we got engaged he wasn’t thinking about going back to do his bachelor, so we thought 2015 was reasonable to plan our wedding. We chose this week to delay everything (we haven’t set a date yet) because it was, really, the only wise option left. Another option would be debt (no way). As PPs said, you have to set your priorities. You’re in a bad situation, but it’s temporary. Once he finds a better job and you yourself get one, you can start planning your wedding again. Don’t cancel your photographer, just tell him what’s going on and that you wish this deposit to be kept for later, as right now you’re dealing with personal issues that prevent you from planning further into your wedding. You won’t lose this money, it’s just there for later. 

Hang in there ! We’re having a tough time too, and I think in the long term we will prefer to get married a few months or a year later (but having the wedding we want), than spending this year drowning under more debts. 

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