(Closed) Dealing with the Mothers – Post Wedding

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Well it sounds like you have two mothers who want to be in charge, in control, and have things their way. I’m sorry! The first thing to do is establish some new rules. You are in charge now. You’re married, it’s your life, your wedding photos. When either discusses something they are upset with, say, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Leave it at that. Don’t get drawn into a discussion. Don’t explain it away. Express regret and move on. If either keeps at you to say more than that, just keep repeating, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” There is no reason for you to be held responsible for these things. You and your new husband (!) need to present a united front, just as you would to a child throwing a tantrum, a child who can’t be reasoned with. Sympathize, but don’t give in and don’t legitimize their bad behavior. Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yes, I agree. Just stop engaging. They are acting like children, and you should treat them like children.  Everytime they bring it up stick to your scripted line “I’m sorry you feel that way. I’m done discussing the topic.”  How obnoxious to have to rehash it over and over!

Post # 5
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

One of my very dear friends has had nothing but mama drama the whole wedding process (from both sides!)

She tried her best to acomodate both while planning, but afterwards she just put her foot down.

There is NOTHING you can do about the photos.  Your mother made the decision to stand in a different spot, it is her fault that she didn’t get the photos/video like she wanted.  You need to tell her to let it go, that you still love her and she was a part of your day, but to let it go! (Are you planning to buy or make her an album of photos?  Maybe you can do so and find lots of pictures she IS in.)

Are you still experiencing the drama post wedding from you MIL?  I’m not how to address the actions of your MIL because it seemed like she mostly had complaints before and during the wedding and they’re over now.

You probably need to do a little bit of ignoring and a little bit of verbal encouragement for the mamas to layoff.  Keep it gentle and firm and things will all die down eventually!

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