(Closed) Dealing wtih tragedy during wedding reception

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee

@mrscash:  I am so sorry for your loss. HUGS! He is watching over you.

Post # 4
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My grandmother died just a few days before my wedding, so I can sympathize but I can’t say I was in your exact position. I have to admit that I loved that he had a heart attack while dancing with his granddaughter to Dancing Queen.  What a wonderful way to go out.  🙂

I think, if anything, you see it for what it was.  A very memorable experience.  Sure, you’re missing the send-off photos, and missed your honeymoon, but the very best part is that everyone that you love was around exactly when you needed them.  It couldn’t have been better timing support-wise. I don’t know if I would try to relive what I missed. I think it happened how it was supposed to happen.  I think maybe having a kick ass anniversary party with a nice memorial for gramps is what I would do. But that’s just me.

I’m sure there are a bee or two that have gone exactly what you’ve gone through.  Good luck in the healing process, sweets.  And plan that honeymoon!

Post # 5
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Glad writing on here was therapeutic – I can’t imagine what you are going through, but it would bring me peace knowing my grandfather was surrounded by everyone he loved, and had been part of my special day. 

Post # 6
Member
945 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m so sorry that this happened. I don’t have any similar stories to share, but I just wanted to say this.

I think whoever said this about your grandfather – “(he) died immensely happy, so much so that his body just couldn’t handle it.” really hit the nail on the head. Honestly, I can’t think of a better way to go.

Post # 7
Member
9234 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I’m so sorry about your grandfather!  I agree that he must have gone out while extremely happy.

I remember reading a story here about someone who’s new husband had a medical emergency during their wedding reception.  They basically rushed off to the hospital and had to cancel the rest of the evening.  The guy ended up ok but it had a similar effect on their wedding as yours.  She might be able to offer some insight.  I can’t remember who, but maybe you could find it using the search function?  

Or some other Bee might remember more details for you?

Post # 8
Member
1122 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@mrscash:  Welcome to the hive! 

I am so sorry for your loss and wish there were words that could take some of your pain away. From your post you sound like a very strong woman. Just being able to come back and sort things out after the honeymoon takes a lot of courage… I couldn’t imagine even beginning to tackle it. 

I think your fathers idea of a closure ceremony is a great idea to celebrate his life and your union with close friends and family.

Remember your grandfather got to watch you walk down the isle and marry the love of your life. I am sure he felt much love and happinness on that day and hope that brings some comfort to your hear. 

Hugs to you! 

Post # 9
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee

Oh my goodness, talk about a worst case scenario. I am so sorry that this has happened to you.   I was very close with all my grandparents, however every last one of them is missing in my life now. I will forever be envious of my sister who had our last two grandparents at her wedding. I would give anything to have them there with me when I walk down the aisle.

I can’t imagine going through what you went through, try to keep those precious moment of happiness from your wedding close to your heart. Grandparents are such special people, I’m sure he was so thankful to be there and witness your marriage. 

At times like this it’s not goodbye, it’s see you later. 

 

Post # 10
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m so sorry for your loss!

a similar thing happened to my best friend… They’d organised an 80th birthday party for her grandfather, there were about 50 members of the family there, including great grandchildren and some of them from South Africa who no one had seen in years. And towards the end of the night, after the food and a lot of fun, he sat down in a chair and went to sleep. 

It turned out that he’d had a heart attack, and I firmly believe his heart was so full of love and at peace with life that something within him knew that life couldn’t get much better. 

It really helped the family to kow that he died supremely happy, that he had brought them all together that day, that they’d all been able to be with him when he passed and had each other for support.

Post # 11
Member
3417 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

@mrscash:  I’m so sorry this happened to you.  At my FI surprise party in April, his mother had a heart attack about a half hour after FI showed up, I gave CPR before the ambulance came but she also passed away.  I can relate, that you plan for a day of celebration and something tragic happens.  Unfortunately that’s life.  Take the time you need to heal and process what happened.  Just know that before this happened he was surrounded by friends and family and hopefully went quickly, that’s the best we can hope for.

Post # 12
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine.

A similar situation happened at my sister’s wedding. Our grandfather had to be taken via ambulance to the hospital a few minutes before the ceremony. It was so scary, he looked like he was dying right in front of us.  It was the very whirlwind that you described in your post.  

He actually ended up living and being okay.  It was still very traumatizing though and my sister struggled with it afterwards.  I know it’s not exactly the same but it does happen. A week later at her venue, a wedding guest also died.  

It’s so tragic, but know your grandfather died a happy man. 

 

Post # 13
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i am so sorry to hear this. 

Post # 14
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mrscash:  I’m sorry, I don’t have any personal experience to relate here. I do know OF someone that this happened to their dad – his mom and dad were dancing at a cousin’s wedding and he dropped to the floor, apparently having died instantly of a massive coronary. I don’t know him well enough to ask how he got through it though, and I don’t know his cousin at all.
I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss, and I am also sorry you lost those moments you’d planned for the end of your wedding. I guess the only words of comfort I can give is to be thankful he was there at all. He got to see you marry your love, he got to see you bask in the glow of love and adoration from your entire family, and he got to dance with you and share your joy. If it had happened a day before, you would have none of those memories to look back on, none of those memories to take comfort in.

*hugs*

Post # 15
Member
8884 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Oh my, I am so sorry 🙁

Post # 16
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I am so sorry for your loss. My sympathies and prayers to your entire family.

Our situation wasn’t quite as immediate as yours, but DH’s grandmother died a few days after our wedding (which she wasn’t able to attend) and we ended up canceling the rest of the honeymoon so we could make it to her funeral. We had known that she was ill, but the family colluded to keep us from finding out how much she had deteriorated in the days before the wedding (at one point it was doubtful that she would even make it that far, and they were really afraid that she might die that day or right before.)

The best suggestion I can offer is to treasure the fact that you got to spend such happy, joyous time with him right at the end of his life, and that one of his last acts was to celebrate how much he loved you.

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