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It sounds like your young cousin would really enjoy it, and might not even realize that she was a second choice. Your work friend and FSIL wouldn't be bad choices, but your FSIL already has a role, and your work friend probably isn't expecting to be in the bridal party, and might be touchy about being a second choice? Of course, my whole bridal party is my family, so of course I'm coming down on the side of your family. :)
I hope you pick your cousin because as much as you love your FSIL, she already has a role so this would be a great chance for your cousin to shine. =)
Not many votes yet, but thanks for the advice! Luckily, I don't think I can go wrong.
I agree with the other posters. I think you should go with your cousin.
You could always have two gm walk the last bm down the aisle. My friend had a similar situation and she chose to have the a gm on each of her arms.
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I asked a dear college friend to be a BM, which I knew would be difficult for her because she is an observant Jew, and would have to ride in a car during the Sabbath, carry flowers, etc. After discussing it with her fiance and a lot of back and forth, she told me she can't do it. I'm sad but totally understand.
I am only about 4 months from the wedding, though. The whole even side thing isn't super important to me, except (and this will sound a little terrible) the guys FI picked could use someone to walk with so they don't look so goofy. It is a long walk, and they are very dude like.
I've got three options I like for back-ups, all of whom I think won't mind being asked last minute and I know are coming. They are:
- FBIL's very serious girlfriend, whom I love and want to be my sister. Only problem is that I'm counting on her to escort FI's dad and read a blessing, so she has a role I've discussed with her already. She is the only one I would have to tell was second choice. Honestly, she isn't second choice in my heart, but when I made my choices she was going through a rough patch with FBIL. They have since moved from her studio condo to a house they bought, and as you can imagine, that has done wonders for their relationship.
- Work-besty, whom I went to school with but have really only gotten close to in the last six months.
- Darling 17-year-old cousin, who is a total sweetheart and has always had a special place in my heart. We aren't super close (age difference), but I think she would enjoy it. I wouldn't expect her to do anything except where a grey dress and walk down the aisle.
My other closest female friends are either involved in the ceremony or would not enjoy the role. My closest male buddy is a reader. Suggestions?