Kind of random: Honduras?
more by monitajb
Man Drama *sigh*
Am I obligated to make her a bridesmaid?
more in Bridesmaids
Am I wrong?
Am I obligated to make her a bridesmaid?
more in Boards
My shoes came today! Shoe porn!!

Dear friend can't be a BM, find someone else?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Which BM should I ask?
    (Hopefully) FSIL : (5 votes)
    29 %
    Work-besty : (2 votes)
    12 %
    Young cousin : (10 votes)
    59 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    2,217 posts
    Buzzing bee
    monitajb    July 17, 2010   Sacramento

    I asked a dear college friend to be a BM, which I knew would be difficult for her because she is an observant Jew, and would have to ride in a car during the Sabbath, carry flowers, etc. After discussing it with her fiance and a lot of back and forth, she told me she can't do it. I'm sad but totally understand.

    I am only about 4 months from the wedding, though. The whole even side thing isn't super important to me, except (and this will sound a little terrible) the guys FI picked could use someone to walk with so they don't look so goofy. It is a long walk, and they are very dude like.

    I've got three options I like for back-ups, all of whom I think won't mind being asked last minute and I know are coming. They are:

    - FBIL's very serious girlfriend, whom I love and want to be my sister. Only problem is that I'm counting on her to escort FI's dad and read a blessing, so she has a role I've discussed with her already. She is the only one I would have to tell was second choice. Honestly, she isn't second choice in my heart, but when I made my choices she was going through a rough patch with FBIL. They have since moved from her studio condo to a house they bought, and as you can imagine, that has done wonders for their relationship.

    -  Work-besty, whom I went to school with but have really only gotten close to in the last six months.

    - Darling 17-year-old cousin, who is a total sweetheart and has always had a special place in my heart. We aren't super close (age difference), but I think she would enjoy it. I wouldn't expect her to do anything except where a grey dress and walk down the aisle.

    My other closest female friends are either involved in the ceremony or would not enjoy the role. My closest male buddy is a reader. Suggestions?

     
    2.
    Member
    494 posts
    Helper bee
    Rocktsrgn    May 22, 2010   living in Tucson, wedding in Atlanta

    It sounds like your young cousin would really enjoy it, and might not even realize that she was a second choice.  Your work friend and FSIL wouldn't be bad choices, but your FSIL already has a role, and your work friend probably isn't expecting to be in the bridal party, and might be touchy about being a second choice?  Of course, my whole bridal party is my family, so of course I'm coming down on the side of your family.  :)

     
    3.
    Member Icon
    145 posts
    Blushing bee
    loveapril    April 3, 2010  

    I hope you pick your cousin because as much as you love your FSIL, she already has a role so this would be a great chance for your cousin to shine. =)

     
    4.
    Member
    2,217 posts
    Buzzing bee
    monitajb    July 17, 2010   Sacramento

    Not many votes yet, but thanks for the advice! Luckily, I don't think I can go wrong.

     
    5.
    Member
    8,542 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    noritake22    March 31, 2011   Seattle

    I agree with the other posters. I think you should go with your cousin.

     
    6.
    Member Icon
    Member
    10 posts
    Newbee
    herobinson    November 17, 2011  

    You could always have two gm walk the last bm down the aisle. My friend had a similar situation and she chose to have the a gm on each of her arms.

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    simpleandchic 4
    Kewii 1
    mrsjjohnson2b 1
    kat2014 1
    zomgwut 1
    miss_blondie86 1
    MabelleBliss 1
    Scottish_lassie 1
    MrsMSmith 1
    kmanetta 1

    Bridesmaids


    Sorry, there are no users yet.


    More