Post # 1
My little sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor and she is a wonderful 19 year-old college sophomore. However, she is also having a grand old time allowing her beauty school student best friend bleach the crap out of her normally very dark hair on a montly basis. I’m all for changing up the ‘do and as often as you’d like (creative expression and all that), but it’s to the point where I can see through her hair. Literally, it’s almost clear. My sister loves it and is having a lot of fun with the blond and I’m afraid it’s going to turn old-lady white by the time my wedding comes around.
I don’t care that much for my sake; do what you want, it’s your hair/body/life, but I’m afraid that in 2 years, she will really regret the look following her in wedding pictures. It clashes with her skin tone and just isn’t as flattering as her normal color. I haven’t said anything negative to her about her hair because she hasn’t asked for an honest opinion and I really don’t want to hurt her feelings, but it’s starting to look like a bad wig.
Should I bite the bullet and say “hey sister, I love the blonde, but maybe some lowlights for the weeding?” I don’t want her to think it’s about me, and maybe it is a little bit, but every time I see a new picture come up on Facebook with an even BRIGHTER, LIGHTER shade, I feel a little twinge and really want to book her an appointment at the salon.
I know I’m being selfish and I should just deal, but she’s my sister and it really is that bad…
Post # 3
Can Mom field this one? Hehe.
I totally get what you’re saying, and it really does sound like you’re more worried about what she’ll think of it than you will, but 19 year old sisters are just like that sometimes. Maybe have your mom mention it to her if she’s cool with that. Or maybe bring it up yourself -but you don’t want her upset with you if it’s really not a big issue for you. It totally depends on the dynamic you guys have. I’d say pick your battles with this one. Like you said, it’s just hair.
Post # 4
I would just leave your wedding about it totally or it does sound like selfish concern for your wedding – just talk to her about the concern for her hair and that you like it best the natural way, then see what she does 🙂
Post # 5
thats a tough one. I’m more woried about the quality of her hair than the shade of it. I mean I hope she even has hair on your wedding day! I really wouldn’t know how to bring it up without hurting her feelings. I guess I agree with PP about having mom bing it up.
Post # 6
I don’t really have advice, but I was in a similar situation with my little sis after I asked her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. She’s notorious for dying her hair (She’s a natural strawberry blond) and no matter how hard she tries for RED RED she ends up with orange or her last was a combination of orange and black and it came out of the same box (still not sure how that happened). Our relationship is such that I just mentioned I preferred her normal color and that I wished she’d leave it that way for the wedding. (Minor detail: I may also have threatened to smack her if it was orange.) Anyway sory for the long story. I just wanted to say I feel you and it couldn’t hurt to casually mention a preference without making it a big deal.
Post # 7
Just tell her that you don’t think that the white blonde suits her. Ask her if she is planning on going darker any time soon. Perhaps bring in mom or grandma–“Mom/Grandma are going to fuss/cry/be sad if you don’t go a little darker for the family pics at the wedding.” Mostly just ask her nicely to tone it down but don’t argue or insist. If she says no, she has no intention of going darker, not even for the wedding then say OK. She will look back on the pics in a few years and you guys can laugh at how dumb she was.
Post # 8
@katie914: I’ve definitely done the hair experimenting thing and I know how crazy it can seem to others. Maybe you could start discussing with her how she’s going to wear her hair for the wedding and show her photos of brunette hairstyles to sort of plant the seed of brunette.
Idk how your relationship works with your sister but with mine I’m very straight forward. If I don’t like something I let her know that. I think you just have to be a sister and work it however you can. Maybe look at old photos of when she was a brunette and be like omg I loved that color on you!
Only you know her best. Just don’t tell her you hate it and she’s required to dye it for the wedding 😉
Post # 9
I think approaching her is fine, however if she dying her often she probably going to have done before the wedding. If you say something to her just be nice about it and also know she may turn you down. I don’t think you are asking too much since she is changing her hair all the time. So as long as you ask politily she has no reason not to fix her hair.
Post # 10
Haha, Im not going to give you the answer you want. My hair is currently this colour:
(not a pic of me)
but yeah, my hair is totaly pigmentless, clear white. and I love it, get ton of compliments on it. I know its unusual but its awesome. I totaly look like a glowing unicorn in pictures :p
So I would just let her rock the hair she wants to. I have some crazy pictures of me out there that people thought I would regret later, but I just look back and remember a different time in my life and what I liked at that time. Plus, its nice to have unique intresting people in your pics, a ton more fun than everybody looking the same.
To add: if her hair is very light it may not take the hairdye anymore, or do some really strange things if she wants to get it darker. She wont just be able to dye it easily and it might go a crazy colour.
Post # 11
@teabiscuit: I was gonna say, you’re a dead ringer for Scarjo!
OP, I kinda would let her rock the style. Maybe she’ll regret it in the future, but it’s just hair. And besides, there are hairstyles that I “regret” in that I look back and think it wasn’t the best choice aesthetically, but the ‘do became totally synonymous with that time in my life and that makes it kind of nostalgic.
Post # 12
My sisters and I have the type of relationships that we can say whatever we want to eachother and we don’t get offended. We figure family is going to tell us what noone else will. So, if I was in your situation, I would say exactly what I felt, no questions asked, and my sisters would not have a problem. Now, if your sister is somewhat sensitive, you may need to watch your wording lol but, I would tell her.
Post # 13
@katie914: I would leave the wedding out of it and just talk to her for her own sake. Don’t even mention the wedding, at all. Just tell her it doesn’t work with her skin tone, and that she should pull up two different pictures and see. Plus, bleaching damages your hair. So. Much.
Post # 14
If it helps, I used to dye my hair every color under the sun. Loved it. I’m so glad that I was able to do that (and I still want to add some pink back in after the wedding). For my mom’s wedding I could tell she wanted my hair more… neutral. So she offered to pay to have it dyed, so I was like “You buy, you pick” and we had a great day at the salon together! Would you be open to doing something like that? My mom didn’t pick any weird shade, just close to my natural color. You could just add some low lights and that will give it some dimension.
Post # 15
I’m going through the exact same thing with my little sister! She is 18, and has been routinely dying her hair black and it’s definitely showing signs of wear and tear. It’s dry, brittle, and it’s obvious.
I simply told her that I wanted her to look her best, and that her hair is showing major signs of damage. I offered to pay for her to see my stylist the week before the wedding, so at least she would get a quality dye job and hopefully a deep-conditioning treatment to restore some shine to her hair.
Post # 16
Doing stupid things to your hair is all part of being 19 (well.. it was for me). I’d leave her alone.