Post # 1
Maybe you caught my post earlier today… stupid me, it was too good to be true.
I got word that my grandmother had a massive stroke today and will not be recovering. She is comfort measures only, and will be passing away sometime between immediately and a few days.
I live a plane ride away from her, and will not be travelling to say goodbye. My heart is breaking for my dad—-who is to be celebrating his daughter’s wedding in 5 days. How do you do that while you’re mourning your mother’s death?
What a bad start to my wedding week. I just feel terrible for my dad. The wedding is still on—although many guests will no longer be coming. Which is completely understandable.
What do I do? I don’t know what to do. Is it wrong to have the wedding? Everyone is flying in….they’ve bought flights, hotel rooms, gifts. I don’t know what to do.
Post # 3
Im so sorry for your loss, babe. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.
Have you talked to your dad about what he thinks about you going ahead with the wedding?
Post # 4
@zippylef: He said he refuses to cancel it. That life is more important. 🙁 I just wanted him to have an amazing weekend. Now he’s going to be exhausted—emotionally and physcially.
Post # 5
Oh I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother! That’s just so unfortunate. Would you lose a lot of money if you cancelled? I would call your vendors to see. If you would lose a lot of money, if so I think you should still have the wedding. People will understand. You can’t control circumstances, but you can still try to celebrate your new life together. You could do something nice at the reception to honor her, like a sweetheart table with a longstem rose in a trumpet vase. It would be nice to honor her still.
Post # 6
@VirginiaMarie: I mean, if your dad wants to go ahead… then I would. Im sure your grandmother would have wanted you guys to get married and go ahead with your plans.
Post # 7
@MightySapphire: Thanks mighty. You’re right. We will do something nice for her. I was so calm and happy and this just tipped me over the edge I think.
Post # 8
@VirginiaMarie…..So Sorry for your loss! Not a great way to start your week. So sad that you won’t be able to attend funeral services for her.
DON’T cancel the wedding! DO incorporate a special tribute to your grandmother during the ceremony. The wedding will allow your father and other family members to remember her long ife as well as celebrate your future. The wedding will allow your father a good chance to get his mind off of things and focus on you for the weekend. He is giving you his blessing to continue with the wedding – go for it! He is right, life and your future life with your husband is important just as much as her life was!
Post # 9
i completely agree with @MrsJKH2be
so sorry for your loss… 🙁 but i think your grandma would want you to get married. definitely have a tribute to her, and if nothing else it will keep your father’s mind busy…
Post # 10
Oh Virginia Marie,
I am sooo very sorry for you, your dad, and your family. My daughter got married exactly one month after my mom died last year. I know that my mom’s spirit was there. I could totally feel her and my dad’s presence, and although bittersweet that my mom could not be present in some ways for my daughter’s wedding, it was good to have family present to come together, and to be able to celebrate a happy occasion with family after such grief. Your dad knows that life is worth living and he is right that your wedding should go on. I know that your grandmother would want you to also. Focus on the good, the wedding is love, and family. Sorry if this is rambling. I am wishing you a very happy wedding day, and a long and happy marriage. Blessings.
Post # 11
My grandmother died today, and my wedding is in just under 4 weeks…I so feel you on this. In lieu of a funeral, my grandmother asked that we scatter her ashes in 3 different places, one of which is by my wedding venue. So, since the whole extended family will be together for the wedding, we’re going to spread them together the day after. Not the cheery Sunday I was hoping for, but I think it will be a meaningful and healing way for my FI and I to start our marriage.
Post # 12
I am sorry for your loss too!
Post # 13
Have the wedding. It will be wonderful. Everyone will need a reason to be grateful for life and happy for love.
My grandfather died on June 14th this year. Our wedding was on the 26th… just twelve days later. It is hard. But it was honestly the best way to spend our time after such a tragedy. It will feel weird and it will be really–I mean really–hard. But guess what? Your wedding will still be perfect and you will still be HAPPY!
DO NOT feel bad for being happy. Do not feel guilty or embarrassed that you will be having a great time. Everyone will be so happy for you. Unfortunately, such is life. Be thankful for this many years with your grandmother and be thankful that it happened 5 days before and not the day of.
I also want to say that I am truly sorry for your loss. I hope that your whole family and all of your wedding guests all appreciate you and your decision. Good luck!
Post # 14
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss.
I’m hesitant to say what your grandmother would have wanted, since I don’t know her, but I hope you’re able to come to a resolution that brings you peace.
Post # 15
I’m so sorry Virginia Maria 🙁 I hope your grandmother is not in any pain and is able to leave this earth in peace. I can’t even imagine how difficult this must be for you. I think you should still have your wedding – it might be a good way to bring joy to people who are mourning right now AND I am sure that your grandmother would have wanted you to continue with it. I hope you are able to find comfort in friends and family that will be surrounding you in the next few days. You and your family will definitely be in my thoughts.
Post # 16
I’m so sorry for your loss. But I do think you should go forward with the wedding and find some special way to honor your grandmother.