Death in the family a week before the wedding

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2275 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

Honestly, I think your wedding will be a nice & welcomed “happy” celebration in the midst of all of this.  I don’t want to say, pretend nothing happened, but I think offering personal condolensces to the guests that will be attending in private will be enough. “Aunt Sally, I am so sorry for the loss of T but I am so grateful that you were able to come celebrate with us anyhow.  Please give P & her family a great big hug for me as I won’t be able to see her for a couple weeks & let her know that I am thinking of her.”  That was choppy, but you catch my drift!

So sorry to hear about this tragedy though :[

Post # 3
Member
1926 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think it might be nice for at some point in your wedding to have a moment of silence for him… other than that I am not sure what to do. 

I am very sorry for this loss… so sad. 🙁

Post # 4
Member
42472 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

MrsSmitty:  Send a handwritten letter of condolence to P. Share some of the memories you have of her son.

We all worry about what to do when a death happens close to the wedding. In most cases, I think we are safe to assume that the person who died woud wish for life to go on for everyone else and for them to be happy.

Post # 5
Member
332 posts
Helper bee

MrsSmitty:  We had an unexpected death of an immediate relative exactly two days before our wedding. It was devastating, and certainly changed the tone of our wedding. So, I am really sorry that you are also having to go through this during an otherwise happy time.

I can tell you that it gave a few hours for our family to “escape” the reality (our grieving). However, we also made sure our Pastor said something in honor of our loved one during the ceremony. I cried during that moment, as did my family. However, it was such a special moment that I would not take back.

We personally felt like it was necessary, given the timing, to have a moment for this particular loved one. However, near the ceremony site, we also had one candle per family member that had passed, beautifully displayed as part of our decor. It was our way of not forgetting them on our special day, without it being distracting or somber.

 

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