Post # 1
Ok, I think from here on out, I’m just going to keep my trap shut.
At Christmas me and the SIL were flipping through bridal magazines and chatting about her destination wedding.
She mentioned wanting to do a favour of a “message in a bottle” with a little scroll with their wedding info, and then go down to the beach where they’ll have their ceremony and get some sand to put in.
I simply mentioned that a lot of beaches it’s not legal to take sand, and she might consider buying “official” sand so people don’t get caught up at customs or at the very least boil it so it’s critter free.
She seemed to take it all right, but today I get a call my Mother-In-Law saying that she feels like I’m crapping all over her wedding and shooting down all her ideas. This was really the only real idea we even discussed, otherwise we were just looking at pretty dresses…
Do you guys appreciate/mind it if people mention the “practical” side of some of your ideas? It’s not like I called it the “t-word” and left it at that!
Post # 3
People hear what they want to hear and often it’s not what was said.
I think she wanted to hear you say”What a great idea! People will love that” Let me know how I can help. Do you want me to do some research on how we can make that happen?
Post # 4
@julies1949: me too! And I felt like my suggestions were like that. “It would totally work with these minor modifications, or things to look into”.
Post # 5
For me, it depends on what it is. If I mention what I am doing then I don’t want any suggestions or comments other than it’s awesome. If I state “what do you think” or “how does this sound” then it’s ok for a suggestion.
However, I wanted Rice Krispy cakes for favors and I mentioned this to a group of ladies. They all chimed in, albeit nicely, that it probably wouldn’t be very classy for my wedding or very practical to make that many. One was even a lady I had never met! I did not get upset though. If I wanted the cakes then I was going to have them despite their comments. If she wants it, she needs to own it however she wants to do it
Is it likely she was fine but your Mother-In-Law spoke up unwarranted? Although they are family now, it’s never really like your own family you know?
Another however, you were in no way rude or crapping all over the wedding. Which one of the two is so sensitive?
Post # 6
I think she’ll be greatful to find out an important piece of information like that. If I was a guest and was caught with something illegal that was given to me, I would be SOOOOO angry! I think it was nice of you to even bring that up, and it’s not like you even shot it down, you gave her a safer and legal alternative to her idea. She needs to get over it and your Mother-In-Law needs to realize her kids can handle their own battles and step back.