Deceased Husband's Mother

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
12 posts
Newbee

I don’t have any experience with this, but what a nice thought.

I’m so sorry you lost your first husband, and I think it is beautiful that you are considering your former MIL’s needs. And I’m happy for you that you have found love again 🙂

Post # 4
Member
7261 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I think it’s very sweet that you don’t want her to feel left behind. I would consider having your DH make the commitment to her another time other than the ceremony.

Post # 5
Member
12 posts
Newbee

@pfizertobe:  I’m just thinking – I’m not sure if I would incorporate her in the CEREMONY. But I think the private conservation in which you BOTH promise to take good care of her grandchild and keep her father’s memory alive might be sweet. Not really sure about your fiancee asking her in regards to your MARRIAGE for her blessing though? Grief is a strange thing, you know? That might be painful for her.

 

But the grandchild part is lovely 🙂

 

Post # 7
Member
10988 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

How lovely and beautiful that you want to include your first-husband’s mother!

I agree with @creativeplannertobee:  I think it would be wonderful to include your deceased husband’s mother with the other mothers in the ceremony. 

Post # 8
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I wouldn’t include her in the ceremony. But I would give her a corsage, sit her first row with the other moms… and maybe your future husband could write her a letter? like, promising to take care of her grandchild, etc?

Post # 9
Member
42469 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am still close to my ex mother-in-law too. I called her and ex FIl my outlaws.

As your marriage is a new chapter in your life, I would not include her in the ceremony per se, But I would honor her with a corsage, a prime seat, and a mention in the groom’s speech at the reception.

Post # 10
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

Yes, I think incorporating her with a corsage and asking her to sit with family would be nice. And to thank her in your speach would be good enough, too. I think anything directly related to her in the ceremony would be weird (unless you’re asking for the blessing of all parents during the ceremony).

Post # 12
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Just an idea for a present to the daughter, maybe a locket with you and her fathers picture in it or something that she can hold on to so she can remember that he’ll always be part of the family even though he’s no longer able to be with you? Just a thought lol

Post # 13
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 1988

How is your new husband presenting your daughter with a wedding gift and making a promise to her? Will she be seated and at a certain point in the ceremony come to both of you? If so, maybe your old MIL can accompany her (present her, if you will)  and then return to her seat.

If you’re doing a “traditional” recessional, maybe old MIL can walk out right behind the parents… maybe with your daughter.

Echoing what others have said… I think it’s wonder ful that you want to include her.

Post # 14
Member
12 posts
Newbee

@pfizertobe:  The fact you care and are trying so hard is beautiful. She will recognize your efforts, I promise 🙂

Post # 15
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Maybe your daughter could be a flower girl and your MIL could walk with her…

Post # 16
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think incorporating your MIL into the ceremony is a wonderful idea!  When you decide on an idea please let us know!

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