Post # 1
I know that it’s a long way off, but have any of the bees due around the holidays thought about how to handle the holidays this year? I’m due on December 3rd, so technically LO could be here around Thanksgiving, or closer to Christmas. This is my first, so I’m not sure exactly how DH and I will be doing (after labor, taking care of a newborn, etc). This is on my mind because MIL likes to… go all out for holidays, and will “claim” the day as hers months in advance (like claiming Christmas Day in August). I’m just not having that happen this year, and I can’t commit to traveling to both families houses (or any) because I don’t know how the end of my pregnancy will go. However, I am also not about to host/entertain both of our families at our house if I’m still recovering. Has anyone else thought about this?
If you already had a baby around the holidays, how did you handle the holidays that year?
Post # 2
My EDD is 12/27. I’m excited because it means we will definitely not be travelling for either Thanksgiving or Christmas. I am sure neither of our families will have any expectation of us hosting those holidays, either (as yours shouldn’t).
I will likely just tell everyone we’re playing it by ear, not committing to anything and hoping for their understanding… but also not getting worked up if they don’t understand because it’s not worth a battle.
I think I am most anxious about my ILs potentially expecting that they can stay with us for the holidays as they aren’t local because it’s their first grandchild when I will likely just want privacy and to determine what our routines will look like. If I’m fortunate enough to carry this pregnancy to term, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.
Post # 3
Maybe I can help with a bit of perspective. My due date (2 years ago–yikes!) was Nov. 29th, and Thanksgiving was the 22nd. DS was born on Nov. 26th. Thanksgiving was fine and I felt great, but obviously wanted to stay close to home as I’d begun to feel contractions on the 21st. My parents live in town, so we just had the day with them and it was great.
Christmas was hard. Again, we just went to my parents’ house, but my little guy wasn’t sleeping well, I wasn’t sleeping well, and it was a bit of a mess. Plus, breastfeeding at that point was pretty much around-the-clock. I was exhausted and was glad to be around my own parents–I wouldn’t have wanted to be with my husband’s family at the time (even though I really like them.)
I would really plan on something super low-key for both holidays. Maybe offer to do Thanksgiving if you’re up to it (but no promises). For Christmas, maybe offer to have them over to your house for something super easy (dessert?) for part of the day (or Christmas Eve if they’ll otherwise host others on Christmas.)
My in-laws visited in early January, and that was REALLY hard. They were here for 8 days, which was difficult for me. It was their first grandchild, and I know they really treasured the time, so I’m glad we did it, but I would avoid hosting anyone if at all possible.
On the other hand, some babies are super easy, and if you’re bottle-feeding especially, it may be much easier for you than it was for me. I’d set a very low-key plan, and then if you’re babe is easy and you feel up for it, they’ll just be extra happy if you all of a sudden can join in a bit more.
Post # 4
Jess1483: I like your point about being around your own parents when you feel a bit of a mess, as opposed to the in laws. Last year (before this baby was even an idea!) we split the holidays, so Thanksgiving was spent with one side and Christmas with the other (both are in town… it’s just too much running around). Maybe we’ll aim for Thanksgiving (supposedly pre-baby) with the ILs and see my own family for Christmas or Christmas Eve.
teacherg: I’m HOPING that they don’t expect us to host anything, but it makes me a little nervous. My ILs already have joked about stopping by every day when baby is here, so ehhh…
Post # 5
You could also ask your mom to cook the dinner at your place, if you don’t feel up to hosting, but also don’t want to go out.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
AnonymousCupcake: Use this as an excuse to stay close to your own home. If they offer to take care of everything and hold the holiday at your house, take them up on it!
Post # 7
AnonymousCupcake: My EDD is Dec 2. We have already told both sides we will not be traveling for either holiday. We will have to figure out what to do about Christmas, as both sides of the family live several hours away, and we don’t have enough room to host everyone at once (and we live in the country so the closest hotel is over 30 mins away). But I know everyone will want to come see the baby, which I totally understand. I guess well have to work out some sort of schedule. Great question and I’ll keep following to see what others say.
Post # 8
My SIL had my nephew 1 week before Christmas this past year. 5 of us went to SIL and BIL’s apartment two days before Christmas (most of us stayed in a hotel close by). For Christmas dinner, we all pitched in and bought and cooked the meal (BIL and SIL didn’t cook). It wasn’t a typical Christmas for us, but it worked out well and it was a great time!
Post # 9
People would be crazy to ask you to host just because you may not attend a holiday! My SO’s cousin is getting married 2 days before our due date, we said we won’t be coming (though part of me thinks that if he isn’t here yet I could drink a beer and try to dance him out I know I will never do that)
Post # 10
- Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand
Last year my EDD was 12/31. For thanksgiving i had NO desire to do anything so DH’s family offered to come to our apartment- they cooked & cleaned and it was awesome, we even had leftovers so we didnt have to worry about dinner the next few days 🙂 we spent xmas and new years with my family but both were SUPER low key events and VERY close to us/our hospital. 10 days after having our baby girl, we had a BIG family reunion of sorts at my brother’s house. Honestly, it went a lot better than i thought. even though our LO had been sleeping well, it was nice being able to hand her over to family and take naps throughout the day- we just double chekced first that no one was sick first.
Post # 11
AnonymousCupcake: I’ll probably end up giving birth 1 – 3 weeks before Thanksgiving. Last year, I hosted his family for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. We won’t be hosting either this year, and I’ve already made that clear to family. I made dinner for my family for Easter, so they ended up getting something out of the deal.
When it gets closer, I’ll be telling family that we’ll be staying home for Thanksgiving. We might venture out to someone’s house on Christmas, but that will be at our discretion.
Post # 12
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
I was due December 1 last year and had my daughter on the tenth. The holidays were super low key. Thanksgiving was normal, even thought my ob thought I’d go into labor by then. I cooked, and my brother hosted.
buying a tree was our daughter’s first outing. Christmas was just us, and it was perfect. I don’t think I would have felt comfortable going elsewhere. She was essentially attached to my boobs, and we needed lots of sleep. The week after, family started coming to visit. That worked well. They’d bring dinner and see the baby, and we had food. Haha
i wouldn’t make plans. Just be clear that you’ll be there if you can, but make no promises.