Post # 1
Fiance and I decided to scrap our local wedding and do a smaller, beach Destination Wedding wedding in Hawaii. I got pricing from the Big Island and it ended up being 17K cheaper than here; a little less after we calculate plane expenses for family members and perhaps a couple friends. We also decided to include in our invitations to help people if they like to find a private rental.
We haven’t broken the news to his parents, but my family was very receptive. I just notified the person I would have chosen to be my Maid/Matron of Honor of the change and said that instead of a bridal party, we would like people to use that money for their own and that we’d help if they need some of the transportation costs.
I have a feeling we will get a lot of backlash on this – should I stick to my guns? We are paying everyone on our own.
Post # 3
unless people don’t have the means to travel, i don’t see why you would get a huge backlash. were you planning on having a big wedding at home? you could always do a casual, inexpensive at home reception after the dw if their concern is just people being left out.
Post # 4
@kitzy: the original plan was to have a large (by our standards), lavish wedding at home (about 120 people). I didn’t consider a Destination Wedding because I thought Fiance wouldn’t be on board – but he actually suggested it while we were in Mexico. I think it’s a great idea to consider an at home reception and I’ll definitely use that to counter any backlash. I’m expecting it most from his family… it seems they want to invite a lot of their friends and people who we never see. While we hope people can afford to travel, we are willing to pay for plane tickets as necessary and cut the list down to about 30-40 people.
We were also planning on honeymooning in Bora Bora, so if we fly from Hawaii to FP it should be CONSIDERABLY shorter and cheaper for us in the long run.
Post # 5
We’re doing a Destination Wedding as well and we will not be having a bridal party. And while it would be nice in the traditional sense, it’s rather nice not having that detail to worry about or deal with the drama. We already feel bad since we can’t pay for anyone’s plane tickets or hotel (the dw was our comproimise of eloping vs having a traditional wedding…this is what we’re dong and we’d love for you to join us if you can). We’re hoping we can host a couple of activities there for everyone. While there have been some grumbles (mostly from my family) my friends are really supportive and we’ll have the small intimate wedding we wanted and I won’t feel pressured to have to invite people I don’t want there.
Post # 6
We are doing a semi-DW. I say Semi b/c it’s 8 hours away but wouldn’t require a plane ticket if you wanted to drive. I am also not having a bridal party.
We are paying for 2 nights at a bed and breakfast for both of our parents, and our close friends we are inviting.–and my younger sister is super excited to stay in a luxury king suite all by herself…hehe.
We have also said we will have a low-key reception back at home for our older relatives and those who could not come. We are not having a big reception..are any other Destination Wedding having full receptions?
If we had a wedding with just our aunts, uncles, grandparents, great grandparents..gah we are looking at over 300 with just our families, friends, etc. (we both have large extended families). We wanted something intimate and simple all along. It’s about US not them, although my mother still wants to invite all “HER” choices but that’s a whole other issue =)
Post # 7
i think doing it sans bridal party is a great idea. sometimes i wish i did that for my DW! not that i dont love my BMs, but it seems that there will be more people standing up beside me than sitting down in the audience and it feel silly to me. but oh well, i am ecstatic that the most important people are coming.