Post # 1
I have a friend who’s also a well established professional photographer. We met more than 10 years ago through a professional organization and see each other maybe two or three times a year. I throw a Christmas party each year and she usually comes and then I’ll bump into her at a function or two throughout the year. We’ve known each other a long time, but we aren’t what I would consider to be close. We don’t call each other or spend time together one-on-one.
When I got engaged, I immediately thought of her because I knew she’d do a good job even though weddings aren’t her specialty. So my fiance and I went to her house and talked to her about prices, etc.
While all this was happening, my mom — unbeknownst to us — started contacting photographers on the vendor list and getting prices. Rather than being miffed over it, I was actually moved that she was excited enough to take the initiative, and I appreciate what she did.
So I contacted my friend to let her know what happened and that we’re looking at other photographers also. She seemed to understand, but I’m not sure. Well, we have landed on a photographer and it isn’t our friend. The one we chose lives in the area (the wedding’s about three hours away) and has shot at that location before. And her prices are better than our friend’s.
I need to let my friend know, but I’m agonizing over how and what to tell her. Any advice would be so appreciated!
FYI…We are having a small wedding (60 people) in the mountains about three hours from where we live, so we are only inviting close friends and family, and we told our friend this. We weren’t planning on inviting her (and her odd husband) as a guest because she isn’t a close friend of ours.
Post # 3
Just tell her that there was a confusion between you and your mom and she went and booked a different photographer.
There doesnt need be a huge convo. Just be friendly about it and tell her that you guys will get together “soon”.
Post # 4
I would love to take that approach, but I gave her the courtesy of a heads-up that my mom had reached out to them, so a decision had yet to be made. So now I need to let her know what was decided. I guess that’s what I’m struggling over. 🙁
Post # 5
I just had to do this. She was totally understanding. Remind her about how you were talking to other photogs and then blame it on your fiance. ha. But say that he really liked the one person who is specifically a wedding photog and has done work in the locations you’re getting married. But make sure you flatter her talking about how much you like her and would totally use her in the future for x, y, z.
That’s what I did and there were non hard feelings at all.
Post # 6
I don’t understand why you have to lie, just be honest. If she is a professional she will understand.
Post # 7
Don’t agonize over it too much. Just tell her the truth, and keep it simple. Don’t apologize profusely or anything. Just say that you guys ended up choosing one of the photographers that your mom contacted and leave it at that.
Post # 8
@USER876: 100% agreed.
Professionals understand that they are not the right choice for everyone. I absolutely understand that when someone chooses another photographer there are many types of criteria that determine the best match for that couple. It’s not personal. 🙂
Post # 9
@tdcwriter: I actually hav a photographer friend and we decided not to hire her. We’re still in the early part of planning so we havent told her yet, but we are just going to simply tell her that although we thought of her and would love her to do it because we know she would put her heart and soul into our day, we are just going to tell her that we have decided not to hire any friend vendors…
This is for numorous reasons…
1. We will just advise her that we would rather have her attend and participate in our wedding instead of her working it
2. tell her your afraid that if you turn into a “bridezilla” you dont want it to ruin your friendship
3.you can just maybe lie a little and say that your fiance wanted someone else, or since your not paying for it… you have to go with another option