- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 2015
Kudos to you if you care enough or make it through my convoluted thought process far enough to figure out the post (lol).. but I NEED HELP DESPERATELY:
Until recently FI and I were told by his dad and stepmom that we could have the wedding at their barn/property. A few days ago, I realized they were being flaky — as usual. ANYWAYS, this now means that we are again back to square one and on the hunt for another venue. Honestly, after being really depressed today (and venting about on WB), FI and I went on an impromptu hunt/drive around NJ. We realized three important things:
- We will be better off without having to micromanage everything ourselves (ahem, without me having to micromanage, and poor FI having to listen to it all, lol). I am extremely Type-A. For example, as I write this post, it frustrates me that my thoughts are so discombobbled about the venue/this decision.
- Our budget is now going to be tighter than ever ($15,000 tops…) and for me to do each portion separately and scrounge around for different vendors is going to end up costing me more (and minimizing the guest list).
- Therefore, to preserve both our sanity and our already-limited guest list, sacrifices must be made. This means that my dream of having a rustic-y, barn, mason jar-laden, christmas string-lit, cowboy-boot optional wedding is just about out the window. I can made adjustments with my colors (really, I’m all neutral-ish white/cream and gray/silver and black anyway), but I’m a little sad to embrace the reality of the situation and let the dream go.
We went searching for places like Perona Farms and Jack’s Barn (normally I DIY everything), but we’re realizing that the barn/rustic feeling we are looking for is not to be had without a hefty pricetag in NJ. I’ve looked further into PA and whatnot, but we don’t want to travel too far (I have elderly relatives who can’t make the trip). This has left me with limited options in terms of venue and I’m continuously finding myself disappointed. I’m either slicing people off the list that I don’t want to cut to stay within budget, or we can’t afford the places we like.
We decided the best option is to reduce stress and go all-inclusive as possible, with me DIYing things such as favors and flowers (if possible) and invitations/gifts/little touches. However, at this point, I’m in a new ballfield. I could go with certain venues I like at the cost of about 20 people being sliced from my guest list (and we really have pared it down to the minimum already!). It’s do-able if I stretch the budget, but we don’t want to be a slave to this wedding wallet-eating monster beginning to rear its head.
After looking at some things that might work if I stretched it, I happened across the Hotels Unlimited chain (http://www.sterlingballroomevents.com and http://www.crystalballroomnj.com ). We have previously SWORN UP AND DOWN that we’d never do a “boring” hotel wedding. However — all-inclusive and low prices are beckoning to us… They are beautiful ballrooms, but I feel like I’m settling to concede to this type of venue. But still, there’s great benefits: the price (ding ding ding), great menus, close proximity to home, and ease…). I still have to go look at a lot of venues, but here’s the conundrum (and pro/con summary):
- Go completely DIY: Don’t worry, I’ve already crossed this off the list. I can’t do it. I can’t even THINK of considering this after all the work and planning that’s gone down the drain already with our lost family venue.. I also realize it will be TOO stressful on me and in my first year of teaching, there’s just no way..
- Cranbury Inn @ Cranbury, NJ (http://www.thecranburyinn.com):
- PRO: Close to our “rustic-y/barn” dream feel.
- CON: Cut lots more people off the list and a lot pay more than we want to, drive an hour, probably still need to provide linens/vendors/DIY, etc..
- David’s Country Inn (http://www.davidscountryinn.com):
- PRO: Still an off-beat/non-traditional venue that’s gorgeous and is a little cheaper/less stressful in that it provides mostly comprehensive packages.
- CON: Drive an hour and a half, pay at the top of the end of our budget, still trim off people I don’t want to cut, or maybe hopefully haggle down to a deal that will still leave me probably stretching the budget a little bit.
- Hotels Limited — (http://www.sterlingballroomevents.com OR http://www.crystalballroomnj.com OR http://www.atlantisballroom.com ):
- PRO: Can receive 25% off if I book by August 31 (from I-HATE-WEDDINGS.COM and for being a teacher – whoo! – and for booking on the first visit there). Includes virtually everything, is VERY close to home (all three of the locations – I’m in the middle of them all for the most part), everyone can have a discount on the hotel room and have a convenient after party, less stress, and TOTALLY in our budget. Still pretty.
- REALITY: Give up the whole “non-traditional”/rustic-y/barn feel, do the type of wedding I (somewhat ignorantly) swore off in the beginning in the name of practicality.
I am leaning towards #4, but I’m afraid to concede my dream wedding. Even my FI preferred the rustic-y barn theme, but he doesn’t have a strong opinion — he always says “whatever you want.” He seems to be intrigued by the all-inclusive factor and the nearness of the venue. We went to a kind of cheesy-ish “value date” done at a local hotel ballroom (L’Affair) and while it was decent, it wasn’t original at all and it seemed cheap… They didn’t want to be involved in the process, though. It seemed thrown together. I think they got it for like $45pp whereas it’s normally $95 (but it’s not known as the best place anyway). I’m TERRIFIED of ending up with a wedding like that. I think I’m prejudiced in thinking that it’s going to suck if it’s not my off-the-beaten-path preference.
HELP! What should I do? I still have to go see them all, but is it okay to kind of “let go” the dream wedding and go a new direction for practicality, sanity- and wallet-saving sense?
Thank you so much, bees. I’m nuts. I hate my life right now because of all of this. I just need guidance and nobody but FI is helping and the poor guy is getting SO SO SO tired and frustrated because deep down, he just wants ME to be happy — he doesn’t mind either way. LOL
- This topic was modified 3 years ago by missmonsterjeep.