- 3 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
Hi bees! I’m looking for thoughts and experiences about deciding when to TTC. Sorry for the novel.
DH and I have been together for over 10 years and married for 2 (we are 28/29). We have discussed having kids but not a specific timeline. DH has made many comments over the past year about being ready whenever I am. Whenever he brings it up I ask if we need to have a discussion but we never really make a decision beyond “not now.”
About a month ago he made comments again and I have been thinking about it nonstop. While previously I had thought that the earliest we would start trying would be next summer (and the latest would be in about 4 years! complete lack of timeline right?) I have been feeling like starting now might be a great idea.
Part of waiting until next summer was to accomplish two things that I wanted: go on a special vacation and complete a major school requirement. However, it seems like the vacation keeps getting delayed as people close to us keep getting married and having destination weddings (using up our vacation time and travel money, but we certainly wouldn’t miss the weddings) and it just feels less important to me. I am in graduate school and have probably 3 more years to go. While before I felt like I had to plan around the exams in May 2014, now I feel like there will always be a major milestone and if I want kids before I retire I just have to make it work.
I want to talk to DH soon about a timeline, since he has been bringing it up more frequently, but I want to know my own feelings better first so I don’t get his hopes up for no reason. People always say there is no good time and sometimes I feel like we have the basic things I wanted before having kids: we are married, have spent time as just a couple, have a place to live and sufficient income and health insurance. The rest is negotiable. A year ago I changed my birth control to something I felt would be more difficult to screw up; now dread starting my next pack (and was almost disappointed when I got my period)!
So, anyone care to share their opinion?