(Closed) Declined Ceremony, Accepted Reception? Is this strange to anyone else?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Very strange. All I can think is that he has some sort of completely unavoidable commitment during the time of your ceremony, and is planning to travel separately from his wife in order to be there for your reception. If you guys are that close (you were MOH in their wedding), I think that you should be able to ask what’s up, and/or they should volunteer to explain the situation!

Post # 4
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

is the reception immediately after the ceremony or is there a time gap?

Post # 7
Hostess
11174 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Hmm that is weird. Unless he has an unavoidable committment it really isn’t polite to skip the ceremony and just show up for the party…I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that.

I might have your FI just ask casually if he is close to them, I don’t think it would hurt to get the details.

Post # 8
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

We had a few people do this but we had a Friday wedding and a gap so we kind of expected it.  I would definitely see of you can find out. Just like “oh it’s too bad x can’t make the ceremony.” and see what she volunteers. 

Post # 9
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it – I’m sure there is a perfectly legitimate reason for it but I think it could become awfully uncomfortable if you confront the couple on the issue to find out why.   

To be honest, I’m surprised your friend even specified that he won’t be attending the ceremony.  I occasionally don’t attend ceremonies but go to the reception later (usually when there’s a gap between) but I never mark that on the rsvp card – I figure they don’t really need an exact number for the ceremony as there’s generally not a per person cost.  

Post # 10
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Maybe he just wants to party and not be botohered with the wedding.lol. Idk…..it will be interesting to hear their explanatio

Post # 11
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My guess is that he has a committment during the time of the ceremony.  While its not the politest thing to decline a ceremony and show up for the party, it is an invitaiton, not a summons, and people are free to choose what portions they attend.

Post # 13
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Fixin2BMrs.Awesome:  Weird but whatever…. Especially of you have a task that you didn’t want to assign to somebody because they’d have to miss the ceremony that works out perfectly I guess. 

Post # 14
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

maybe its a being inside a church thing???

Post # 15
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Haha that is so odd!

If he doesn’t ‘do’ weddings, how did he get married to his wife?

Post # 16
Member
1550 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Fixin2BMrs.Awesome:  We had FOUR responses (13 people all together) decline the ceremony but accept the reception. We got married in town…. seems like these people just wanted a free meal and free booze and didn’t care much about us actually getting married.

I didn’t really do anything about it because there’s not much you can do, but I definitely thought it was odd that SO many people responded in that way.

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