Post # 1
Does anybody else do this? What I mean by this is taking one aspect of yourself that you dislike/hate and focusing on that totally? I am terrible for this. I look at a photo of myself (or in the mirror, but moreso in photos) and completely focus and tear myself down for that one aspect of myself. I have always done this and it seems to have jumped around over the years as far as what it is that I choose to focus on. Right now it’s my teeth. I had posted awhile back about this (a thread which I ended up deleting because I didn’t want anybody I know to find it as I was very embarrassed!). The funny thing is, I don’t do this with other people. When I see a photo of someone else, I might notice they have bad teeth or a big nose, or whatever, but I see them more as a whole person with those ‘flaws’ just being one aspect of their whole look. And I tend to focus on the positives of others, not the negatives. Why oh why can’t I do this with my own looks?!! 🙁
Can anyone relate?
Post # 3
@Chani: Sorry you are dealing with that. I don’t do the same thing, but I had a baby last year and it’s taken some time & effort to come to terms with my new shape. I was catching myself saying negative things about my body, and it’s important to me to nip that asap since I have a daughter. I decided I am not going to say anything to myself or about myself that I wouldn’t say to her if she grew up to have the exact same body I do. The first time I thought about saying to her some of the things I have said to myself was a real eye-opener. It made me feel sick, and there’s just no way I’d ever think about saying those things to her. So, it has to stop, it has to stop now, and it has to stop with me.
Post # 4
@DaneLady: I really like that idea – not saying things to yourself that you wouldn’t say to your daughter. I don’t have any children yet, but I think I need to stop saying things to myself that I wouldn’t say to a friend or heck, anybody!! I will try to keep that in mind, thank you :).
Post # 5
@Chani: This is really normal. Women are socialized to do this. Part of it is because of media – watch beer commercials/car commercials/etc. and see how often the camera follows an disembodied female body part – ass, breasts, etc. We see ourselves as a collection of parts rather than a whole body. Most beauty information is geared toward body parts – “101 ways to get great hair!” “How to get tan legs!” They become a list of things to improve and monitor.
I don’t know how to overcome it, but this is normal.