Post # 1
I know that in 1970’s and 1980’s the bridemaids had specific duties and now that I am a bridesmaid I can’t really think of what the duties of a bridesmaid entails.
For my wedding, I know my older sister who was my maid of honor helped out and was really the boss of the bridesmaids and I didn’t have to ask them to do much of anything. I know that they helped out with my bridal shower and bachalorette party but I did a lot of DIY things for my wedding that I preferred to do alone or with the help of my mom..not my bridesmaids.
I am helping a friend ( one of my bridemaids actually) plan her wedding that is set for october 2014 and I am trying to figure out how I can help round up the ladies so that we can make this a super awesome event. I just don’t really know what we are supposed to be doing 🙂
SO ladies tell me, how do you define a typical bridesmaid in 2013? What are their duties? Were/Are yours more traditional or modern bridesmaids?
Post # 3
@proverbs131: While most will say, all they have to do is show up in a bride approved outfit, I don’t feel that way about mine. I don’t need them at my beck and call, but I’d like their help by bouncing ideas off them, asking for their opinions. I’m one of those people who need a sounding board. As my life-long friends, I feel listening and giving me their thoughts isn’t a huge burden. I’d do it for them in a heartbeat. I probably wouldn’t ask them to help me DIY, but I’m very particular about my crafts. I would like for them to plan at least a bachelorette party, though. I’m not very high maintenance, I’m not talking about traveling across the country for a weeklong party. I’d be happy with just going to a karaoke bar or having a game night.
Basically, I want them to do more than just show up, but I don’t intend to make them pay thousands of dollars or be on call for the length of my engagement. I want them to be the friends they always have been.
Post # 4
@proverbs131: i make a list of things i want to someone to do for me and do those kidna things
when i was moh
i hosted many of the events
i called and got everyone on the same page so the bride did not have to
we helped with dyi
dress fittings and picking
we went to wedding fairs lol
I made a kit of things like tide to go hair spray bandaids chap stick lil kit of needles and thread fabric glue incahse someoen hem came undone or something … that was big cuz brides needthe mints the asprin the tampons pands u name it u make a lil goodie bag of that incase someoen else dosnt every brides maid should have one
ahh i did a mani peddie party
its good as a group of brides maids to talk out what u need to tell worries to tbe bride so u dont all tell her different times the same thing get her stresses out so doing some brides maid stuff together is great
Post # 5
@HonoraryNerd: I think that what you want from your bridesmaids is more than reasonable. I know why people choose close friends for their bridal party, I think that problem some people have is when they choose their relatives who might be blood, but really aren’t your close friends and don’t actually want to help because they are absorbed with their own lives. I know that is what is going on in my friends wedding, too many relatives who don’t want to get involved in the wedding but want to just show up 🙂
Post # 6
@Kissed_by_lightning: Great ideas! Sounds like you are a great bridesmaid and very prepared
Post # 7
I haven’t spoken to many of my bridesmaids in weeks/months lol All I expect from them is to order their dresses, and I know they are planning a shower and bachelorette party. I’d rather they not be involved in anything else really! I like doing most of the stuff myself.
Post # 8
I wonder how do bridemaids share the responsibilities of planning both the bridal shower and the bachalorette party. I know that the bridesmaids pay for both events along with their own wedding attire. Should we set a certain amount for each bridesmaid to contribute to paying for things or just let them choose how much they want to and then roll with it?
Post # 9
I’m currently Maid/Matron of Honor in my friend’s upcoming November wedding. Here’s the things I have done for her wedding:
*be a sounding board for her thoughts, desires, vision of all aspects of the wedding. Be supportive and know when she wants advice or my opintion and know when she just needs someone to talk
*would have went shopping with her for her dress if I lived in the same city or at least within a day’s driving distance but I’m 6 hours away
*shopped with her for the bridesmaids dresses. Paid for my dress and shoes.
*planned, hosted and paid for her bridal shower
*planned, hosted her bachelorette weekend
*put together a day of emergency kit for the wedding (I already have one for a job I have, just adding some specific things for her day rather than her buying everything in the kit seems silly to not use what I have if it’s needed)
*showing up 2 days before the wedding to help with some DIY projects and to help with anything she wants me to
*writing the toast for the reception
Mostly I am doing anything I can to help make her dream day come true and making sure she knows I’m there and willing to do anything she asks of me. If she wants my help she asks for it, I do not push ideas on to her, nor am I disappointed if she asks me to send her ideas and she doesn’t use them. her wedding, not mine.
Post # 10
@proverbs131: For costs, talk to your bridesmaids, find out what their budgets will allow for the dress/attire. The Shower and bachelorette are not an obligation for bm’s to host them, but a bonus if they decide to do so. They will figure it out amongst themselves for costs for those events.