Post # 1
Two parts to this:
1. My fiance and I are considering not including his little sister (21) in our wedding. They do not have the best relationship, but we feel a little bad since his little brother (17) will be a groomsman. Do we have to include the sister even though neither of us really want her up there??
2. I was a “best man” in a friend’s wedding a few years ago. We would like this friend to be involved in the wedding, but neither of us have room in the wedding party. Would it be bad of us to ask him to be an usher? And yes, ushers will get the perks of being in the wedding party.
Post # 3
@renita.brown1: I’m not that familiar with us specific traditions, so I’ll skip the second question For the first one: how many guests will you have? If you only have your ten closest friends / family around that would be different from having let’s say 50 and more guests and then not including your own sister.
As for their relationship: what is it that makes it so bad? If she has misbehaved in really horrible ways, I would understand. If they just don’t get along that well, I think it’s a mistake not to invite her. Maybe it’s just puberty and the years down the road, you not having invited her will still stand in between them even though things have long been fine …
Without knowing the details I would say to definitely invite her.
Post # 4
@renita.brown1: sorry, I should clarify: she will be invited, we are just considering whether she should be part of the wedding party.
Post # 5
@renita.brown1: ok, sorry, got it. I think the people in your wedding party should be in it because they give you moral support and the ones you can turn to both for all the “useless” questions we have during planning as well as for advice when times get rough further down the line. Doesn’t sound like she would fit any of these descriptions so I wouldn’t think twice.
Post # 6
@renita.brown1: There’s no problem not including his sister. In my experience, it’s quite unusual to include the opposite sex siblings (bride’s brothers / groom’s sisters) in the actual wedding party. No you don’t have to have her in the wedding party but it might be nice to include her in another way. e.g. I did a reading at my brother’s wedding. (And Kate Middleton’s brother did a reading at her wedding to Prince William).
For (2), again that’s fine. I’m guessing he’s close to you but less close to your fiance. Your fiance doesn’t need to include him if he’s not real close; and you’re entitled to have an all female wedding party if that’s what you want. Again, reading or usher is a good way to include an opposite sex friend or sibling.