Post # 1
My fiance has three of his closest friends and two of his brothers as groomsmen. One of his friends found out he’ll be deployed during our wedding. We’re 6 months away from the date, but we’re unsure of what to do. Do we replace him with another close friend? Do we leave an open space as an honor? We don’t want it to look like he’s past away though…
Has anyone ever dealt with this before? We don’t want to offend him, and we chose him as a groomsman because he is important to both of us. What’s the best way to handle this?
Post # 3
It’s really up to you. Most of my FH’s groomsmen are in the Army, and any one of them, including his best man could be deployed. We’re still a little too far away from the wedding to know. We decided that we’re going to go with the guys that he originally asked, whether they are there or not. We also discussed keeping their names in the programs, and adding a little note at the end to explain that they are deployed. But there’s nothing wrong with asking someone to take the person’s place.
Post # 4
I am so sorry that you and your fiance are going through this. We were in your same spot a few months ago. All of my groom’s friends deployed at about the same time as our wedding, including the guy he wanted as his best man. We ended up putting people in their place but I considered lots of different options for recognizing the ones that couldn’t make it, although in the end I couldn’t decide on something that was most appropriate (yellow flowers on bar-highs, note in the program, etc.)
Post # 5
I would have a yellow ribbon somewhere to honor him. You might want to have another groomsman or you could just have one of the other groomsmen walk down two BMs and just have an uneven party.
Post # 6
My friend got married in September and the WEdnesday before, the best man (grooms’ brother) got called away to be on a submarine.
My husband ended up filling in for duties of the best man and gave the speech, but the brother was still listed on everything as the best man. But hey, someone had to hold the rings. At the reception, the groom made a nice toast to everyone for coming and said something nice about his brother being away to serve his country (the groom was in the Army, brother was in the Navy), made a few Navy jokes, and everyone clapped and stuff.
It would be nice if the groom’s bouttonier had a yellow ribbon or yellow pin tied onto it. When DH was deployed, i had a yellow ribbon lapel pin i stuck on my apron when i waited tables.