(Closed) deployments, deployments…

posted 5 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

This is what happened to my fiance. He left almost 2 weeks ago. He found out this summer that he was going to possibly be deployed and this is his first deployment. I honestly didn’t stress about it too much until it got closer. It’s been really hard now because I miss him so much. I found that spending as much time with him as possible before the deployment helped. We also took a mini vacation before the deployment at a luxury resort where he got a huge military discount. The mini vacation helped take off some stress. Also planning all the care packages to send him helped me feel better. I just sent him the first care package…it’s a Halloween themed care package and I went all out and decorated the inside of the box. I hoped that this helped a little.

Post # 4
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Not stressing about is pretty much impossible, I’ve found.

In the days leading up to it, just spend as much time together as you can. Be aware that this is an emotional time for him, too, and there may be days where he feels distant or ya’ll don’t seem to communicate as much as you normally do. It’s not because he doesn’t love you or anything, but rather he’s stressed and just as upset about it as you are. Their work environment gets really hostile as the deployment gets closer because everyone is upset about leaving their families, and it will definitely affect his mood. So just be as comforting and understanding as you can.

As for you, be busy, but not so busy that you don’t have time for him. By staying busy it shows that while he’s gone, you’ll be okay and have your own life, but you’ll never be too busy to show him support.Discuss what changes the deployment will bring to both of your life and ask what questions you need to, but don’t dwell on it around him. He’ll be around deployment preparation all the time leading up to the departure, so you’ll need to be strong for him. I would suggest talking with your mom and friends about your sad feelings more about the topic than him, although of course I don’t recommend keeping all of your sad feelings about it from him. I say that only if you feel yourself getting really sad about it all the time. If you need to, cry it out when you’re having alone time.

Ask him what things he’d like you to send, etc. Just reinforce that no matter what, you’ll be here when he gets back. Once he gets over there, ya’ll will be able to determine a schedule of communication, which will ease things. It’s a hard adjustment, but many couples do it successfully.

I’m about to go through a deployment early next year, so I feel your pain. He’s gone right now for a month for training, and it’s hard. Just keep your head up. It will be alright. <3

Post # 6
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Hi Girls! I too think the unknown is one of the most stressful parts of being a military spouse!.. I just started a military spouse support group on facebook that you are all more than welcome to join! Even if its so you can share your experiences with the girls on the page!

Here is the link!

https://www.facebook.com/TheRealHousewivesOfTheUSMilitary?ref=ts&fref=ts

I hope to hear from you girls!

Post # 7
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Krystalcole07:  Thank you for the support I really appreciate it I am not a military wife yet it. I have view your page on facebook.

Post # 8
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

That’s the situation I’m in now. He’s currently at NTC (and we’re into the part where he has no phone for two weeks) and won’t know for sure until early next month if he’s definitely deploying in February or not.

Before NTC, he’d come home one day and it’d be for sure but the next day, it’d be off. I’ve learned I need to let it go since I have absolutely zero control over him staying or going. We’ve been through it before for 12-15 months at a time, so the 9 we’re looking at now seems like cake to me. Honestly, I think the two weeks of not being able to talk to him at all while he’s at NTC is harder than him deploying. At least when he’s deployed, we can communicate via email, phone, letters, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I would give anything for him to not have to deploy. I just know that’s not reality.

 

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