Post # 1
My fiance and I have been living together for over three years so we have most of the home things we want/need. We also live in a very, very small apartment and cannot really fit new items into our home.
We opted to use a Deposit a Gift registry (http://www.depositagift.com/) because we want to save for a down payment on a new home and purchase new home items as we need them. We basically wrote a note telling guests that it’s most important to us that they come and no gifts were necessary but if they are so inclined they can use the registry we created to donate $ towards our first home or give us check/cash.
Do you think this is rude? We really don’t want any gifts but would rather save $ to purchase items when we buy a home. As a guest, how would you feel about giving a couple money this way?
Post # 3
I usually give money anyway, but I wouldn’t ever use a money registry to do it, I just gift with a check.
Post # 4
We used it, and some people loved it and definitely took advantage of it! I come from a culture (my parents are taiwanese) where people traditionally give money for weddings, so I think people from our culture really appreciated seeing what their money gifts were going towards.
DH’s side didn’t seem to take as much advantage of it, but between gifts and money, and donations to our new home and its items, it all seemed to work out okay!
I think it really depends on your guests and what kind of people they are. Cash registries are the new fad now, so younger crowds will all understand!
Post # 5
I would definitely side-eye it… I usually give cash anyway, but if I saw this I would not use it.
Post # 6
We’re using it! Our only gift so far has been through deposit a gift. 🙂
We’re also doing a registry at target/macy’s for the more traditionally minded.
The reasoning for the deposit a gift, which we put on our wedding website, is that we are planning on moving shortly after the wedding and would hate to have to pack up all of our brand spanking new gifts to transport across the country. So we picked out exactly what we want to use the money for (blender down to the brand, model, and color, for example) and explained that once we move, we can just go “pick it up.” My mom was skeptical at first but got behind it once she read that. (And you don’t actually have to use the money that way if you change your mind, but we figured it would make guests more comfortable.)
So our traditional registry has a lot of smaller items like cookie sheets whereas the d-a-g has larger items like appliances.
ETA: You should add a poll!
Post # 7
I always give cash/checks at weddings. But I would never, ever deposit directly into a bank account like this. I do think it’s rude to ask for money in general, but that’s a separate issue.
ETA: Whether you ask for money or not, the Deposit a Gift website you linked to says there’s a 7.5% fee for using that. That’s just one more reason I wouldn’t use it. I can write you a check for $100, or DAG can give you $92.50 of that gift.
Post # 8
Yes, I think it’s rude. People will give you gifts anyways, but if you have a registry for them to deposit cash it’s like you are asking for money.
Post # 9
Since you asked, yes, I find it rude.
Post # 10
I would never use or donate to this. It will never be considered polite to ask for cash.
There is no need to register for it. I typically give cash gifts at weddings, and would much prefer to give you the full amount of my gift then to have some taken away by a service fee.
I’m also a little confused about the note that you wrote. Where was this note? On your wedding website? or included in the invitation?
Post # 11
I feel like it’s a bit unnecessary to use this service. As a guest, I would not feel comfortable using it and would just give cash in a card like I always do.
Post # 12
Not a fan, of the concept OR the service charges they take from the donation.
Post # 13
I used it! Believe it or not, all of our guests LOVED it. My grandmother, who is very traditional, called it the most classy registry she’s ever seen. Go for it!
Post # 14
I say don’t use it. If people want to give you cash they will write a check.
Post # 15
People know that cash is always an appropriate gift. A better way to get cash is to have either a very small registry or no registry at all and spread the word that you are saving for a house.
I would never ever give through one of those sites as a guest, because, as PPs mentioned, you wouldn’t get the full value of my gift. If I want to give someone $100, I want to give them $100, not $92.50 or whatever the difference is after the company takes their cut.
Since you flat out asked? Yes. It is rude.
Post # 16
The only thing that would bother me is the service charge; however, I guess they need to get paid for their service. If I saw it I would just give you cash/a check in a card so the charges wouldn’t occur.