Deposit on venue before having the ring…

posted 3 years ago in Venue
  • poll: Would you put the deposit down before you had the ring?
    Yes : (22 votes)
    46 %
    No : (24 votes)
    50 %
    Other-please explain : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    11712 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would feel uncomfortable with this. The ring, to me, was a symbol of the commitment we were making, and I would not want to put down money on a date until I knew this was actually going to happen. It’s your decision how you handle it, but it’s not a choice I would make.

    Post # 4
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee

    Honestly, if you have the date picked out, you are engaged. A ring doesn’t not make the engagement. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1981 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    @Katie918:  Personally, I wouldn’t want to put a deposit down for a venue until it was official. He wants to put the deposit on the venue before he proposes, but what do YOU want? If you don’t feel comfortable or it’s not want you want, then don’t do it.

    Post # 6
    Member
    214 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    @Katie918:  i did it and have no regrets!  In my case, my FI would lose money just as I would’ve if he backed out.  I did however feel confident in my decision to book the venue because he did have the ring and I was just waiting for the proposal.

    Post # 7
    Member
    214 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    i wasn’t willing to risk losing our date and there weren’t too many venues in our budget that i loved.  Our venue meant more to me than my dress 🙂

    Post # 8
    Member
    284 posts
    Helper bee

    Have you confirmed the date with all your VIPs? Family, bridal party, ministers (if applicable), etc.?

    Post # 10
    Member
    1136 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    @Katie918:  If he’s fine with it then go ahead, you’ll obviously be really dissapointed if you miss out! We’d had an official proposal/engagement before booking our venue but have to have a long engagement to get that venue, we booked 18 months in advance and they already had bookings for weekends 12 months after ours!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    @Katie918:  I’d say go for it, but make sure both your names are on the venue contract so that if something happens and you don’t actually get married (or even “officially” engaged) you aren’t stuck paying the venue without his help.  

    Post # 12
    Member
    1843 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @Katie918:  I have a venue booked and no ring. He put the money down for the deposit of the venue. We are working on the ring as I want something really different that is not available and needs to be custom made. 

    Today we went to see different churches in the area. For us it was a mutual, well thought and discussed decision and we couldn’t be happier with the way it’s going. We will both be paying for our wedding. And he was the one who payed the deposit. It was his idea. Sounds like your guy thinks similar to mine. We were afraid of losing the date and actually we did.We originally wanted January 2015 and within a week they sold January, February and most March. Except March 21 so he said let’s take it. Let’s do this. I think that’s commitment enough. And he says when we have the ring he still wants to do something special to make it official. Win win 🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    68 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    @Katie918:  I would do it! My venue is already filled up for September 2015, so proabably the sooner the better.

    Post # 14
    Member
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @Katie918:  I dont understand why so many people say no. I did this and I’m just as married as anyone else. We put a deposit down on our venue in OCtober 2012 for our September 2013 wedding. I got my ring on New Year’s Day 2013. My husband is in the military and wasnt home until around Thanksgiving 2012 and the good venues in NJ tend to book up quickly. A ring is not a requirement of an engagement.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1934 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @Katie918:  I would put down the deposit but only AFTER you find out if the deposit is refundable/non-refundable and if you can change the date (in case you need to push it back for whatever reason) without incurring additional fees. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    20 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @Katie918:  Put the deposit down! You two are already engaged, you just don’t have the ring yet. My FI and I were in the same situation last year – he had bought the ring, we’d picked the date etc but he was just waiting to propose until he thought he could surprise me. We booked the venue AND photographer in November so we didn’t miss out. He proposed in December and it was wonderful, now we are planning for our wedding this year and I’m so pleased I already have the big decision of venue out of the way!

     

    @jbh13:  +1 I agree with this 100%

     

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