Post # 1
I’m writing this under a new account because of privacy concerns 🙁
Here is my situation: I’m living overseas with my FI and am having a hard time coping here (living in a non-English speaking country in Asia). I am working in a job that isn’t in my chosen career and have barely any friends and no family here. It is a temporary situation and we will soon be returning home but I’m really unhappy. I find it so HARD getting up everyday, talking is an effort, I get easily upset and am very tearful. I don’t want to talk to friends or family back home because it will cause them worry. I try to talk to my FI but he isn’t very supportive, he told me he’s sick of me being “so sad at the time” and I should just “get over it”.
Well…I know that I should but I feel like I need support. I told him that I want to talk to my doctor when we go home and perhaps go on antidepressants. He thinks I’m crazy for thinking that, and I should just eat healthier and exercise more. I really do love him in all other aspects but I feel like this lack of support is changing my opinion of him.
What do you think would be helpful to me at this stage?
Post # 3
I think what would be helpful is to follow your instincts and do what you think is best for you. And not work to “get over it” because I’m sure if you could just “get over it” you would have awhile ago.
I think reaching out for support is a great first step. In my opinion the next best step would be to try and find someone to talk to, or get support from. I don’t know what the mental health options are like where you are, thoough I’d suggest finding a therapeutic resource as soon as possible. And if that’s not available, finding some online support groups for those with depression or depression like symptoms. Because part of what will help you heal is getting support from others who can relate and validate your experiences.
As far as anti-depressants go, I wouldn’t use that as the first step. It sounds like there’s a lot of things going on in your life right now that understandably would lead you to feel unhappy. I don’t know what your emotions and life are like when you’re home, though it sounds like there’s a lot of situational challenges going on, which are much better addressed with therapy than with medication. Medication is helpful if there’s chemical factors behind the depression, and I always tell people it’s best to use medication in conjunction with therapy, if you really need medication. I had a professor once phrase it as, medication gets you to the point where you’re stable enough to function in therapy. An that’s the philosophy I stick by.
But, yeah, just to repeat myself for maybe the 3rd time, I’d say seek out emotional support from people who can emotionally support you. And if your fiance doesn’t validate your feelings or doesn’t acknowledge them, it may be best to not keep going to him for support with your depressed feelings. Not to speak against him, though he may not be able to handle it for a variety of reasons, and there’s no reason you should keep putting yourself through more upset because you’re seeking out something you may not get.
Whatever you decide to do, good luck. I hope you find the support you’re looking for soon.
Post # 4
awww that sucks, to be so far from home. I’m glad it’s temporary. Your FI has something there with eating right and exercising, that along with talking to someone are proven ways to help with depression. Is there anyone in the country you’re in that you can talk to? Or maybe a group for transplants from the US?
Post # 5
I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time =( Sounds like an unpleasant and stressful situation.
I would not suggest going onto antidepressants at this point. From your post, it sounds like this is situational depression. Sometimes that can lead to actual depression (did for me) and sometimes it doesn’t. I would leave pills on the very back burner and seek emotional support from a professional as the first step.
I understand the feeling when you think pills will make everything better quickly. But as some one with too much experience in this topic, I urge you not to take pills at this point (if at all). They can do more harm than good to the mind and the body.
I know it’s hard, but try talking to your family and friends and try to find a therapist.