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I totally understand and you are not alone!! Ive gained about 40 lbs since I have started to date my SO and all of it stems from going on a BC pill (gained 33lbs in 2 months) and from quitting smoking (over 10lbs)! Its so frustrasting because it was the first oral contraceptive Ive ever been on, and I was devasted with what it did to my body! I stopped smoking for my health (cold turkey, YEAH!) and it only added to the weight and frustration! Its been so hard to lost the weight even after switching BC pills! I've never been this heavy before and nothing fits me anymore!!
YOU CAN DO IT! If you keep working at it, you can lose some of the weight with exercise, even with endometriosis! Just know that your FI loves you no matter what and sometimes life happens and you can't control it! See what kind of alterations you can do with you dress and rock your beautiful new curves! You will look stunning on your wedding day no matter what!!
Aww I'm so sorry!
I recently had to go off my birthcontrol and I gained a quick 20 pounds or so! I was devistated and am still trying to deal with it and except it. Its so much more complicated than just "working" out.
While I probably still look normal to folks and my soon to be husband loves how I look- its a personal thing.
Time is a healer! Get whatever you need done to your dress to compliment your latest figure and be confident! You will look so beautiful !
@misschickpea: I had the same issues with BC when I was on it. I gained at least 30 pounds from it....what a nightmare! Congrats on quitting smoking! That is so difficult and you sould be SO proud of yourself!! Thank you for the words of encouragement and know that you are not alone!!
@Eva Peron: Same here! No one else sees a problem but it's how I feel about myself. It's hard when you are staring down at that new number on the scale! Thank you for the encouragement as well!!
@BlondieBrideGirl: I am so sorry to hear of your weight struggle. As someone who deals daily with the frustrations of weight it breaks my heart to know that other women also have to deal with this type of pain.
First things first! Your FI would never say you look fat because he doesn't think that. I will say matter of factly that he believes 100% that you are beautiful plus or minus 25 pounds. Just as a personal example I was 120 pounds heavier and my FI fell in love with me. After losing 120 pounds and looking at the comparison photos my FI told me that he never realized I was bigger, that to him I just looked like me and was gorgeous. Your FI is the same way, you are gorgeous that is all.
I will never tell a woman to go run off the pounds as everyone loses weight differently. After losing all my weight I must deal with the horror of extra skin that makes me look heavier than I really am...there is no running off skin as far as I know. I would say to focus on being healthy at any size.
I wish you the best of luck with your weight loss goals and just remember that you will be gorgeous as every bride is on your wedding day, regardless of what the scale says.
@Treejewel19: Thank you so much for your kind words.....I really appreciate it! :) Congrats on losing 120lbs! I can not imagine how amazing that must feel! Good for you girl! I hope some of your willpower rubs off on me!
@BlondieBrideGirl: @misschickpea: I'm right there with you ladies. I switched my BC pills about 2 months ago and have put on 27 lbs. I work out 4 days a week and eat healthy but can't seem to loose it.
@BlondieBrideGirl: I completely understand when you say that you're in too much pain to work out. I've blown out my knee 4 times - surgery 3 times and it's still not better. The only thing i've found that doesn't hurt extremely bad is swimming. I'm not sure if this is an option for you but maybe try to swim a few laps ( I started with the assistance of a float) and/or water aerbics. Just remember- even if you don't lose the weight- your FI loves you for you. NOT how much you weigh.
I can relate and I'm sorry you are feeling depressed.
I've gained around 25 lbs from the time I met FI. Ive been on a healthy regimine and I'm trying to get back to my old weight, but it's difficult and there are ups and downs.
I'm sure your FI doesn't care and truly loves the way you look now.
Can you start a dialogue with your doctors about finding ways to lose weight with your condition?
I wish you the best!
@alicia1745: Thank you for your suggestion! I'm wondering if swimming would be better for me pain-wise. I will definitely look into that because it sounds like a great idea!
@Evie19: I have tried to talk to my doctors about it and I was prescribed a pain medication that is a non-narcotic and won't make me drowsy. They are hoping that maybe I will feel good enough to begin working out again. Other than that they don't seem too concerned with the weight gain. I was told that a lot of it may just be water weight and bloat from the injection. We'll see I guess..... Good luck with your weight loss!!
Dealing with the same problem! My medication for my mood disorder made me gain about 50 pounds in a year. It totally messed up my metabolism and makes it so hard for me to lose weight. I had to have my appendix out, and after that I wasn't very hungry for about a month, so I did lose 10 pounds. But I can't work out because I'm still healing from my surgery (I do walk about 6 miles a week though). My parents feel like I just need to work out and stuff, when actually according to some sources, working out is only 20% of weightloss. I'm going to try to eat healthier.
I have the same problem with my FI because he started dating me at 50 lbs lighter and he says he likes my curves but I know exactly what you mean.
I'm there too. In the three years since I started dating FI I gained 50 pounds. Birth control did me in big time, but we can't afford for me to get pregnant so I gained weight. I was also on anti-depressants for awhile so that added weight too. I feel like a whale, but FI tells me I'm not that big.
I'm in the same boat..... 45 lbs. up and feeling like shit...all for similar reason as the PP's..... Nothing fits me.
I think we just have to work harder and it's not fair. Just that thought alone depresses me. I just want to be like everybody else and have a "normal" metabolism and not squeeze myself into size 20 jeans, or live in yoga pants....
I hope I don't get burned at the stake for this.
I have strugged with eating disorders my whole life and when I met FI 6 years ago I was elbow deep in bulimia/annorexia (purging disorder). I was losing weight quickly and getting really sick. FI was the reason I got help and he stood by me while I relapsed every few months and sobbed my way to treatment.
Now I weigh about 20 lbs more than I did then, but I'm a healthy weight for my height/build. I HATE the number on the scale, and still get pretty obsessed with it pretty regularly.
I guess what i'm trying to say is that my FI loves me no matter what I look like, and yours does too! I was not attractive when I was barfing everything I ate...just skinny (which is NOT THE SAME!). Your FI will love you if you weigh 10 lbs or 1000 pounds, so just try to remember that. I think mentality has a HUGE impact on weight gain/loss, and if you continue to feel bad about yourself, the weight will be harder to lose. You can do it, we're here for you!
@BlondieBrideGirl: i completely understand, i first met my fi 8 years aga i was 160lbs back then, we met up again 4 years ago and i was about 180lbs i was 230lbs very recently, i too have endometriosis, and have struggled with depression for some time after losing a child, my weight shot up, i believe he still finds me attractive, i know it's hard, to feel like you can just get up and exercise, i'm always to tired and i just ate insted. i've managed to get the weight to come back down, i don't think it will be easy i'm 210lbs now so it's heading in the right direction.
good luck and i bet you fi does mean it when he says you are still beautiful to him, don't fight the compliments it will only bring you down further x
@BlondieBrideGirl: I am in the same boat you are. I too was diagnosed with endometriosis,anemia, and have gained 65lbs since me and my FI have started dating 3 years ago. I had visions of being that perfect skinny bride that you see in the wedding magazines on our wedding day but i just keep on gaining. The anemia makes me tired all of the time and the iron pills make me very ill. If i could tolerate the iron, i would have more energy to work out, but then comes the pains from the endometriosis. It's a never ending cycle. I just recently had surgery and was given the option of injections but after research decided against it because it's not a "cure". I have the hope of trying whatever i can to eat more healthy and lose what i can, but im not gonna try till after the wedding. My FI tells me how beatiful i am all the time and i believe it's because he loves me for the person i am and not for the way i look. Please dont get discouraged, and stay positive! Make your wedding the best day of your life and have fun with it :)
I am in your shoes... Hypothyroidism is whats doing it for me but I have started a new workout regimine, im eating better and getting to a healthier me. Good Luck to you and HUGS!
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this, that's a tough one.
How about working out with a friend or in a group? I don't know if you have The Running Room where you are (I'm in Canada) but they have a great program for runners and walkers. Good luck!
I can definitely understand. I lost my job back a couple of years ago and in the 3 months following, I gained 30 pounds due to depression.
Ditto with hypothyroidism and weight gain since FI and I have been together...
Odd as it may sound, now that the wedding is a little more than two weeks away, I am thinking that I am going to focus on my weight loss AFTER the wedding and honeymoon. It was too stressful to think about weight loss on top of planning the wedding... and we've since decided to elope, so that's a relief, and weight off my shoulders.
My approach seems so backwards to me. I know the idea of the wedding should have been so motivating to me, but all the pressure bogged me down. I think I'll be more motivated by the idea of being FI's wife, and wanting to better myself! :)
I'm in the same boat. My weight fluctuates abnormally because of one health issue or another. I lost 15 lbs in a month and my gyn asked me how, and I had no idea. Hormonal issues, but then I gained about 50 lbs in a year. UGH! Trying really hard now to lose this weight. :) I'm always in pain, muscle and joint conditions, but I'm just going to have to push through it. My rheumatologist told me that yoga and pilates are going to be the best and least painful exercises, so I really need to get on the ball and stick to it!
I completely get that. I was anorexic in high school and ruined my metabolism. By the time FI and I started dating, I was somewhere around 250 pounds. He was that guy that everybody wanted, and no one could figure out why he picked me, so I was so depressed a lot of the time that I never even bothered working out, because, a lot of the time, even a piece of celery could add ten pounds.
Are you done with the treatments? If so, could you maybe start working out now? I'm too self-conscious to go to the gym, but FI got me a Wii Fit for Christmas and it really works.
I have endometreosis too and I have read somewhere that we have higher levels of estrogen than normal and that it itself makes it harder to lose weight. Do you mind of I ask what treatment your on? I take ortho tri cyclin(birth control) as my endometreosis "treatment" and It's one of the only birth control I havn't gained weight on and can easily lose weight/maintain my weight on. I also know that eating things with added hormones or processed is even worse for us because our hormone levels are not normal anyways. I am sure you are beautiful! Women of all sizes have insecurities ....if you can start to truly love yourself and what makes you special..the mirror won't be as much of an enemy as it is now. Our appearance is something that can change at any time, but when you have a good heart it really is the most beautiful thing that nobody can buy. It sounds cliche but it's true. <3
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When my fiance and I first met, I was 25 pounds thinner (I wasn't a small girl then, but I was smaller for me.) Since we have gotten engaged I have had a really rough time. I was diagnosed with endometrios, and anyone who is familiar with this disease knows that the treatment options are very limited. I started rounds of injections about 6 months ago which made me gain a ton of weight. None of my clothes fit me (including my wedding dress) and I am completely devastated. On top of all that stress, the injections didn't even work, so I went through all of it for nothing. I just want to cry. My fiance says he does not notice my weight gain and that I look more beautiful than ever, but I can't help but question that. I mean, what man would tell his fiance, "Yes hun now that you mention it, you are getting pretty fat."
Anyway, I just needed to vent. No one seems to understand what I am going through and friends and family keep telling me to "just work out" if I want to lose weight. They don't get that when I do feel good enough to work out, nothing helps because the medicine just causes me to pack on the pounds no matter what. Pray for me that I can lose this weight :(