Depressed at work…need advice. LONG

posted 4 years ago in Career
Post # 3
2497 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@frustratedbridetobe:  I just wanted to let you know you are not alone! I suppose this is common among attny’s because I am a legal assistant in a law firm and this sounds exactly like my boss! I’ve also tried to get everything in writing (which you would think they would LOVE being attny’s) but he still insists on verbally telling me things, then forgetting them. I don’t have any advice except to say that your not alone in work, or the resulting drinking…. 

I have tried to focus on *anything* else I can & limit my personal interaction with him to as little as possible, but you’ve probably already done that. =( 

Post # 5
3555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My work environment has induced depression and panic attacks in me as well, though for different reasons (I’m completely isolated at work, no human interaction at all). After having multiple panic atacks in a short span of days I got a doctor’s appointment and got help. They put me on an antidepressant that will also help control the anxiety and gave me another perscription to take when I feel a panic attack coming on. I start seeing a therapist next Tuesday. I feel soooo much better on the medication I’ve only had one panic attack since I started it and that was because I lost a month and a half’s worth of work. Is this situation temporary for you, do you see a finish line for it in the future? My job ends in December, and my doctors were far more comfortable with helping me cope until the end of the year than having this being an ongoing situation. 


I think you should reach out to your doctor and see what help is available to you. Vodka doesn’t really help you cope, and is probably not helping your depression as it is a downer. I know there is a stigma against being on meds for your mental health, but for me it has made a major difference in my quality of life and I am not ashamed that I went out and got help that I needed. Hopefully you can find some help too.

Feel free to PM me if you want any more specifics about my situation.

Post # 6
184 posts
Blushing bee

@frustratedbridetobe:  OMG I went through the EXACT same story. I also worked for Satan (unwittingly!) and was forced into a lame position where I could not learn (he was also abusive, everyone new, but he was a powerful partner so no one could or WOULD do anything if they could). Every assistant quits and eventually, it got to be where he has had no assistant because he’s a sociopath and no one can stand to be his slave. I have to say, it was REALLY tough for a few months, and my wine consumption did increase quite a bit lol .


However, I just kept my eyes focused on the fact that it was TEMPORARY and that, worst case scenario, he can fire me and I can go on unemployment and have time to look for another job. Keep reminding yourself, that it will not last forever and be sure that all your free time outside of work is spent with positive people and that you focus on having fun and unwinding outside work. Some days will be hard, and yes I get the anxiety and depression part, but try and mentally block yourself from him and do only as much work as you possibly can. Dont stay and work in the office 70 hours a week. Exercising a lot over lunch also helps.


Remember that you will still get good references from that job, I guarantee you some other executive, maybe a director, or a manager, will offer to be your reference if needed.


Working for Satan will indeed make you wish for the Second Coming of our Lord lol!!!!


Hang in there and feel free to PM me if you need to talk more. Cyber hugs!


Post # 7
917 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@frustratedbridetobe:  For the panic attacks, try to do some meditation and breathing exercise, i.e. breathing in long and slow through your nose and then out through mouth. Try to clear you mind for a minute. Remember, everything is temporary.

I wish it wasn’t the norm for employers to be abusive, but it is, and we are often trained to just deal with it.

Post # 10
3555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@frustratedbridetobe:  The year before I got my job I was in an emotionally abusive roommate situation and I got through that way better than I’m dealing with my work situation which on paper looks a lot more minor. I am known for being a calm, logical person. People were shocked when I told them that I had been having panic attacks, it just isn’t like me. I didn’t want to admit that I needed help, and felt like I didn’t deserve help. Honestly though, I wish I had gone to the doctor so much sooner. I could have spared myself months of feeling like crap. Go to the doctor, keep looking for a different job, and keep on people at your current place to help you change your situation. I have found that being able to say that my doctor says I need to do X opens doors a lot faster than saying I feel down and I need a change. The major instance I used it in was with my apartment complex. My lease has really tight restrictions on pets, basically you can have a bird or up to 2 cats. Birds freak me out and I’m allergic to cats. I told them that my doctor recommended that I get a pet and asked if I could have guinea pigs which was approved quite quickly. When you go to the doctor it might be beneficial to have them write a note to the effect that they recommend X, Y, and Z changes to your work situation.

Post # 12
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@frustratedbridetobe:  This guy sounds like a real piece of work.  I also have a ‘forgetful’ boss.  She actually got a lot better when I actively worked at ignoring my distaste/contempt for her, and pretended to like her.  Now, I actually sort of like her, since her attitude and demeanor have changed to dramatically.

Have you considered carrying a dictaphone or something around with you so you can record his instructions to you to whip out later on?


Also – have you watched ‘Suits’?  I love that show, and this guy sounds SO much like one of the jerk characters on there.  The character gets what’s coming to him here and there, and it humanizes him.  It may honestly help you cope to see your boss’s effigy torn down a peg 😉

Post # 13
3555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@frustratedbridetobe:  That made me laugh. You just gotta wrap it up in that fancy lawyer speak when helping your doc to wirte the note. Between you knowing legalese and the doctor throwing in some nice medical terms I bet you could have a very official sounding note that would get your HR’s attention.

Post # 14
3508 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@frustratedbridetobe:  AMEN! I sooo hear you! I also work at a law firm and HATE it just waiting for the day they fire me so I can collect and focus on my studies!

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